


Like A Phoenix Rising From Ashes

by PatronusDorcas



Series: When You Fall [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Established Lily/James, F/M, First War with Voldemort, Horcruxes, M/M, Minor Character Death, OCs are fairly minor, Order of the Phoenix (Harry Potter), Regulus Black is a Good Sibling, Sev has a bad life and I need him to be happy, Warnings May Change, depends on how violent it gets, established regulus/remus, eventual sirius/severus, everyone has a lot of feelings, lily and james are probably the most sane people here, lots of stubborness, regulus is definitely a slytherin, remus' mind is surprisingly dirty, sirius is a stubborn idiot, sirius is bad at feelings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-31
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:15:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 61,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25451500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PatronusDorcas/pseuds/PatronusDorcas
Summary: Perhaps it is befitting that the Order of the Phoenix consists of people trying to let past versions of themselves die, contrary to the man so afraid of death.-Directly follows the first part of When You Fall. Overall it gets a bit darker, but like the first one it still has plenty of light-hearted moments, fluff, humor, and pining.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Regulus Black/Remus Lupin, Sirius Black/Severus Snape
Series: When You Fall [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1790257
Comments: 33
Kudos: 83





	1. To Be Part Of This (In Which A New Chapter Begins)

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome back! :) If you haven't read part one, please do so as this is a direct continuation. And if you were into them, my apologies for the lack of drawings... I was only able to do so before because I already had all the chapters written and I'm still currently writing this one. I still may include one here and there, but trying to keep up with both all the time would just be too much! Especially since I have work (jfc why are we still open _cries in American_ ) and I'm often exhausted when I get home.  
> Anyway, I'm really looking forward to the things to come, and I hope you all enjoy it at least as much as the first one <3

The first of September was fast approaching and Regulus Black felt rather ill. Over the past couple weeks, he enjoyed the comfort of the Potters’ home, but as the start of term got closer, his nerves were slowly getting the better of him. As his nerves became more apparent, all of them, Remus, his brother, James, and even Peter reassured him best they could. It wouldn’t be too bad. After all, he was Head Boy. With that power there wasn’t much other students could do to him. Maybe he would be kicked off the Quidditch team, and while it would disappoint him, it wasn’t one of his bigger concerns. The most reassuring statement actually came from Lily Evans during one of her visits; he had Dumbledore on his side. It really calmed him down at the time. However, a new source of panic took over his mind on this particular August day: He was going to Remus’ home.

“They’re going to hate me.” Regulus hesitated to step toward the front porch.

“Don’t be stupid.” Said Sirius, waving it off. “They like me just fine, and you’re far more polite. They’ll love you.”

“But—”

“But nothing.” Sirius knocked on the door, trying not to laugh. “Too late now, no backing out.” 

—

Remus groaned as he looked at the time. It was nearly eleven in the morning and he was still in bed. He was still fatigued and had a slight headache, but nevertheless climbed out of bed and sleepily pulled up the sheets. Normally, he would have less motivation to get out of bed barely over twenty-four hours after a transformation, but today he had something more to look forward to.

"Good morning, dear." Said Mrs. Lupin as Remus came into the kitchen. She smiled, but she couldn't quite rid herself of the worry etched so slightly on her face. Her son still clearly looked tired, but she knew he wouldn't go back to bed. "Your father already left for work a few hours ago, but he said he'll be home early today."

"That's good to hear. I think Regulus will feel better about meeting you one at a time." He laughed.

"He has nothing to be concerned about, but I understand. How is he getting here, by the way?"

"James is helping Sirius with his flat hunting later today, so I think they're just Apparating here on their way. Or maybe just Sirius."

"That ought to go well for them." She quipped. Remus snickered, pouring himself some tea and bringing his breakfast to the table.

"Hey, James is getting better. Lily is a good teacher."

Remus felt a burst of energy as he heard a knock on the door, and nearly tripped over himself as he went to go answer it. He didn't even give Regulus an opportunity to say anything before he pulled him into a tight hug.

"Nice to see you too." Regulus smiled, hugging him close, then softly laying his head on the other's shoulder. He was very happy to see Remus, of course, but he was still nervous. By now, he had been around muggles a few times, but never was really introduced to one. Regulus knew he probably had nothing to worry about, as far as he's been told the Lupins were incredibly friendly, but he couldn’t help but feel that way. Finally, Remus pulled away.

“And good to see you too, Sirius.”

“As always.” Sirius grinned. “I’m just seeing him off. Had to make sure he didn’t get cold feet.” He patted his brother on the shoulder. “I’ll see you later, then.”

"I suppose I should let you in." Remus chuckled, letting Regulus through and shutting the door behind him once Sirius Disapparated.

Regulus assumed this is what an average home was supposed to look like. It was not nearly as large as the Potters’ home or 12 Grimmauld Place, but still much nicer than those at Spinner’s End, where Severus lived. It was well cared for, though he thought it was a bit curious that it was somewhat sparse. Regulus then recalled that Remus told him once that his family would move once neighbors started to figure out there was something odd about him. It was probably easier to pack up with fewer things.

"You sure it was okay for me to come today? You still look awfully tired."

"It's fine. I rather see you than sleep all day. Though I'm a little surprised you didn't want to go with James and Sirius."

"Oh I adore them, don't get me wrong, but I could use a short break from them."

"Is that Regulus Black I hear?" Said Hope Lupin as she came down the stairs, face bright. Regulus' nerves spiked.

"H-hello, Mrs. Lupin. It's a pleasure to meet you."

"Likewise. I'm glad to finally get to meet you. Remus talks about you all the time and it’s nice to finally have a face to match the personality." She smiled so genuinely. "Oh, tea?"

He reddened at the statement. She had kind eyes, just like Remus, he thought.

"That would be lovely, thank you."

The three sat at the kitchen table politely, though there was still a minor air of stiff awkwardness.

"So how has it been over there?" Remus asked.

"Oh, it's fine. Being around both Sirius and James all the time can be a bit tiring, but I appreciate being there all the same." Regulus smiled, then sighed. "Almost hard to believe I'll be back at school again. It seems too normal after everything."

"Yes, it's nearly September, isn't it? Remember we'll all be there to see you off, and we'll be there to meet you for Christmas. And of course we'll watch your Quidditch matches, if you still continue with it."

"Thank you. And I would like to, as long as I don't get kicked off the team."

"They'd be stupid to do so. You're the only reason they ever win."

Regulus blushed slightly, weak as always to flattery, though still, he was apprehensive.

"I'll be alone. I no longer have any friends there."

"I understand that fear." Remus understood more than anyone the fear of being alone and rejected. With a bit of a sad look, his mother put a gentle hand on his shoulder, remembering how afraid Remus was about his friends finding out about him. "Plus, like Lily said, Dumbledore will be there. I imagine you can always talk to him if you need to."

Regulus’ heart warmed at seeing that small gesture. He realized not everyone would pay much attention to such a minute thing, but it struck him. She was a compassionate and doting mother. That wasn’t something you needed magic for. He was so happy Remus had that.

"I suppose so. Thank you. And it's not like I ever talked to many people anyway."

"I know you'll be very busy this year, but maybe you'll make friends in other Houses." Remus offered. "And maybe you're not giving people enough credit. Perhaps some Slytherins won't think poorly of you. Haven't you said yourself that not all Slytherins are Dark wizards or something?"

"...Perhaps I did say that." Regulus replied, a little embarrassed.

"It's easier said than done, but try not to worry, and wait and see what happens." Mrs. Lupin said gently. "Perhaps people will surprise you."

"You're probably right." He sighed. "And worrying won't change anything."

"Maybe it's too much of me to ask, but have you heard from any of your family? Aside from Sirius, of course."

"Oh. Yes, actually." His face brightened a bit at the thought. "My cousin Andromeda wrote me. She invited me to visit whenever I'd like. Plus gave me her sympathies, naturally."

"Hmm, that name sounds vaguely familiar. Has Sirius mentioned her at some point?"

"Yes, probably." Said Remus. "She was also disowned, as she married a muggleborn, so she understands his situation."

"It might be nice to talk to her. It's been a long time. And while Sirius obviously understands too, I always found Andromeda to be down to earth and reasonable." Regulus admitted. "I'll write back when I get back home."

Remus almost commented on Regulus referring to the Potters' as home, but decided otherwise. Still, he smiled.

"I've just realized." Said Mrs. Lupin. "Remus never told me exactly how the two of you actually met. If you don't mind me asking?"

Like a deer in headlights, Regulus looked at Remus, as it was up to him whether to tell what actually happened or not. The other looked as if he was internally debating a moment before answering.

"Er, well, we both had detention." Remus said sheepishly. His mother gave him a _look_.

"It was really Sirius and James' fault." Regulus explained, though almost had to laugh, as he was pretty sure Remus had given him the same exact look at some point. "Remus was just dragged along on a prank they tried to pull on me and I tried to hex them. The rest of us deserved it, though he didn't really. But still, I must be glad you had to do detention anyway, as bad as it sounds." He smiled wryly.

"I suppose McGonagall did go easy on me." Remus shrugged.

“Those two, always getting you into trouble.” Mrs. Lupin sighed, but she didn’t sound angry. He supposed after seven years of James and Sirius, it was business as usual.

“Anyway,” Remus continued, “we had a lot of time to talk. After all, it was pouring and we were stuck in the broom shed, hoping the rain would let up.”

“Is that when you found out about…” Mrs. Lupin trailed off.

“What? No.” Regulus shook his head. “I knew about him long before that.”

“It’s still hard to believe you were willing to talk to me at all considering everything.” Said Remus. 

“Can’t blame you for Sirius getting in your head.” A sudden realization struck him. “You know, I never apologized.” He continued on at Remus’ look of confusion. “I would say some awful things about you, and both Sirius and James, and I’m sorry. None of it was true, I just didn’t want other Slytherins thinking that I…”

“It’s okay.” Remus smiled softly. “You didn’t want them to think you were some sort of traitor or something.”

Regulus blushed, failing to suppress a snicker.  
  


—   
  


“Glad you could make it.” Said James, shutting the door behind his guest. 

Severus looked around, as if searching for someone.

“No one else is here. You can relax.” 

“Where are they?”

“Regulus is visiting Remus today. Sirius is seeing him off, but I don’t know when he’ll be back. I did send him on an errand. Come on.” James led him to the kitchen, where he had tea and snacks ready.

“Is this necessary?” Severus asked, looking at the plate of biscuits.

“As long as you’re in my house, yes.” He slid a cup of tea over. “You’ll get Potter hospitality whether you like it or not.”

In spite of himself, Severus took a custard cream. James let him eat for a moment before speaking again.

“So, Severus.”

“Potter.”

“Have you given it more thought?”

“I have.”

As a silence followed, James sighed loudly.

“And?”

“I’ve yet to change my mind.”

“Severus!” James stood up, slamming his hands against the table. He saw the other shudder and forced himself to calm down. “Did you _actually_ think about what we talked about?” Unbeknownst to the rest of them, Severus and James had talks in the weeks prior. James didn’t want them to know, particularly Regulus. Sirius had been there the first time, but the energy between them was too tense.

“I did. I know you hate the idea, but I believe it’s the best way. I need to speak with Dumbledore about it, naturally.”

“But—”

“James, please.” Severus said firmly.

“The things you’ll have to…” James subconsciously looked at the day’s copy of the Prophet, citing mysterious muggle deaths.

They suddenly heard the front door open.

“OI. I’m back!” Came Sirius’ voice. James and Severus closed their eyes in annoyance. Sirius stopped short at seeing them both at the table. “He’s here _again_?”

He tolerated Severus when Regulus was involved, such as their trip to London, but he still felt an immense discomfort whenever Severus came to James’ house. As the two glared at each other, James inwardly admitted he understood the animosity, but there were more important things happening and this sort of thing would just get in the way.

“Come off it, both of you.” Said James irritably.  
  


—   
  


In Remus’ bedroom, Regulus scanned the bookshelves in fascination. There were many muggle books, including novels but also nonfiction such as muggle history and science. He wished he had enough time to read some of them. On another shelf were his spellbooks, which had a few empty spots.

“Well, do you like my collection?” Remus chuckled.

“Very nice. I wish I wasn’t going to be so busy come next month.” Regulus looked around and saw a few books on the bedside table. He walked over to look at them, seeing that they were on higher level defensive magic, similar to the book he had received for his birthday, but also one on hexes and other offensive spells. 

Remus saw the darkening of the other’s expression. He looked to the side uncomfortably.

“Right. I figured… we have to be prepared, you know?”

“Yes.” Regulus said in just above a whisper.

“You’re not having second thoughts?”

“No, that’s not it.” He joined Remus at the edge of the bed, wrapping his arms around the other’s waist and leaning on his shoulder. “There won’t be much I’ll be able to do yet, stuck at Hogwarts. And you’ll be putting yourself out there, and I can do nothing to help you.”

“Oh.” Remus said softly, brushing his fingers through Regulus’ hair and offering a weak smile. “I’ll be alright. No need to worry about me.”

“I’ll never forgive you if you die.”

“Yes, I will try my best not to.”

Remus was putting on a brave face, but it wasn’t fooling Regulus. He could feel the other’s hand shaking through his hair. Perhaps, he thought, it was useless for them all to pretend they weren’t afraid even a little bit.

“Remus…” he whispered, raising his arms to hold that scarred face. Regulus pulled him into a desperate kiss, feeling tears fall from Remus’ cheeks onto his own.  
  


—   
  


“So you’ve still been having meetings this whole time?” Sirius huffed. James had caught him up to everything.

“Yeah. Honestly I just didn’t want you both to be arguing constantly.”

As much as Sirius wanted to dispute that, he knew it was accurate. He and Severus were not yet past getting at each other’s throats every time they had to interact. Sirius figured he still hadn’t been forgiven for nearly getting him killed by a werewolf, which was completely understandable. Particularly because he never actually apologized.

“But you really trust him? Who’s to say he’d really be spying for Dumbledo-”

He was glad James interrupted him. Even as he said it, he knew it was probably unfounded. The same accusations he would make about Regulus.

“Yeah, I do.” James was getting impatient. “If he goes through with this, of course I would trust him. Still, I wish he wouldn’t.” He turned back to Severus. “You don’t have to be part of this at all. But since you insist on it, there are so many other ways to help than putting yourself at so much risk. I can only hope Dumbledore will say the same.”

“Your ideas have been insane.” Severus muttered.

“They have not!”

“What have you suggested, then?” Asked Sirius.

“I mean, he’s great at potions, right? In my opinion, he can do something with that. I’m sure we could use someone who could supply us with some. Hell, he could be a _Healer_. He’s shown skill in the field, when it comes to both potions and spells. And like I said, he doesn’t have to be involved at all. You know how much good he could do in research? Develop potions and spells that haven’t been figured out yet. He’s already been able to create spells.”

Severus already heard all this from him before, but still felt embarrassment at the praise. Sirius was about to laugh at the absurd idea of Snape working as a Healer, but then remembered how he had taken care of Regulus. Healed his injuries, helped him with the pain. Not only that, but the rather excellent Pepper-up Potion he sent them when James mentioned a summer cold had been starting to spread in their house (highly effective yet with minimal ear-smoking). Perhaps it wasn’t actually insane.

“You actually have a good point, Prongs.”

“...What?” Severus was completely prepared to respond to some snarky comment and didn’t know how to handle a sincere tone coming out of Sirius.

“Of course I do!” James exclaimed.

“No, really.” Insisted Sirius. It felt strange to compliment Snape of all people, but he knew it all to be true. As much as they would make fun of him, Sirius was always aware he was extremely talented. “I mean, Snape, you could apprentice under Slughorn or something and work on your own research. Or even Sprout.”

“Hmm, Sprout’s an idea. Seeing as he can probably out-potion Slughorn already, more advanced study of magical plants would be useful. Then eventually take over Slughorn’s post when he retires. Or maybe he’ll have invented an incredibly lucrative potion and be rich enough to never work again.” He shrugged.

“This is absolutely ridiculous.” But Severus had no conviction in his voice.

“It isn’t, Severus.” James sighed. “I hope you’re not insisting so much on putting yourself in the worst danger because you think you deserve it.”

He couldn’t answer. Instead, he looked to the side, brows furrowed.

“Look at me.” When he got no response, James’ voice became more firm. “Please.”

Severus did so.

“Why should you care?”

“Because I’m your friend.” James ignored Sirius gaping at him. “At least, I’m trying to be. I would like that to be the case. Maybe I haven’t made up for everything enough yet, but eventually, I hope so.”

For once, Severus thought Sirius’ reaction was completely reasonable.

“I—” He stumbled. Brushing past it, he shook his head. “And why is it that I ‘don’t have to get myself involved’, but all of you do? You are putting yourself in just as much danger as I would be.”

“We’re really not. At least we’ll be in a group that can ideally trust each other, you would be putting your hand into the open mouth of a crocodile and hoping it doesn’t bite. Please just… rethink it. If not for me, for Regulus and Remus.”  
  


—   
  


“Ah, Regulus Black. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you.” Said Lyall Lupin, offering a tired smile.

“Good… good afternoon. Nice to meet you too, sir.” Regulus said nervously, holding out a hand to Mr. Lupin. He found that the man carried himself in a similar way to his son, and spoke in the same calm, polite fashion. However, he could feel the hesitancy in the returned handshake. He wondered if it had been the same for Sirius until they actually got to know him.

“More polite than Sirius, it seems.” Mr. Lupin chuckled, relaxing somewhat at Regulus’ soft-spoken demeanor. “While appreciated, there’s no need to be so formal.”

It was always funny to Remus seeing how shy Regulus could get when meeting new people, as he knew how bold and impudent he could get. He liked that, of course. Shy Regulus was adorable, but haughty Regulus made Remus want to push him against the wall and kiss him like there was no tomorrow.

“Oh, he’s not always so polite.” Remus teased. “I know how you gave James a hard time when you met.”

“Hey! Only because it was James.” Regulus laughed, looking at Remus gleefully. “I wasn’t that mean. He continued to befriend me, after all.”

As they looked at each other, Mr. Lupin saw the sheer love and affection they had in their eyes. He knew then, there really wasn’t anything to worry about with this boy.  
  


—   
  


In what Sirius thought to be a bizarre turn of events, the three of them ate a late lunch together. James kept the peace, and Severus and Sirius managed some semblance of politeness to each other, despite the steely glares and tight jaws. James doubted the two could ever become good friends, such as he had done with Regulus, but if they could develop some sort of mutual respect he would be happy. On the other hand, Sirius found it ludicrous how James and Severus were actually starting to be friends. If someone told him last year that this would happen, he would have laughed in their face, but here they were. He listened in on them as Severus left to help James in the kitchen, meaning Sirius obviously wasn’t supposed to be part of the conversation. It was one of the more recent things about Severus that pissed him off.

“You wanted to say something?” James asked, setting the dishes to clean themselves. “I doubt you actually think I needed help.”

“Yes, I…” Severus took a deep breath. He stared at the floor, then finally forced himself to look up to the person he once loathed so much. “I wanted to tell you that I’ve forgiven you.”

James nearly dropped his wand. The look of shock slowly turned into a soft smile.

“Thank you, Severus. I’m really glad to hear that.”

“I suppose… I consider you a friend as well.”

“I’m honored.” James grinned in sincerity, but then it turned into something more sly. “Just don’t fall in love with me, you have a bad habit of falling for your friends.”

“I can take it back!” Severus’ cheeks started turning pink.

“You know I’m joking.” He chuckled. “Sort of.”

“You flatter yourself.” Severus briefly smirked. “Speaking of, however, how are things with you and Lily?”

“Oh, things are going really well.” James’ usual confidence waned, instead being replaced by something more flustered. “Er, actually I… I actually plan on asking her to marry me.

In the other room, Sirius nearly shouted out loud, but covered his mouth before he could give himself away.

“Oh.” It took a moment for Severus to get his thoughts together. “I’m glad for both of you.” He really was. “She will say yes, you know.”

James felt butterflies in his stomach at the thought. There needed to be some joy in these darkening times.


	2. As Good As Him (In Which New Futures Begin To Bloom)

There he was at platform nine and three-quarters, staring at the train. After weeks of dreading the day, now that he was there with people he cares about and a shiny badge on his robes, Regulus felt a newfound determination. Remus, Sirius, and James stood by him, his brother’s hand on his shoulder. While just the three of them went to see him off, there had been a dinner with everyone the night before at the Potters’ house. Lily, Peter, and Severus included. Sure, there were occasional hints of awkwardness, but overall it was a pleasant way to mark the end of summer.

It was just about time to leave, and Sirius pulled him into a tight hug.

“Don’t let anyone get to you, okay? Give them hell if they try anything.” He said. “And don’t you dare lose the Map!”

“Okay.” Regulus laughed. “And really, as if I’d be as clumsy as you to get it confiscated.”

“Heeey.”

But Regulus already moved on to embrace Remus, who held onto him as if for dear life.

“I love you.”

"I love you too.” Remus pulled away just enough to kiss him. “Write soon?”

“Of course. Don’t let these two drive you mad.” Regulus smirked.

“Oh I can’t promise that.” Remus grinned.

Regulus then turned to say goodbye to James. James decided to be dramatic.

“Oh Regulus, how will I stand these months without you?! My heart can’t take it...” He hung onto Regulus, snickering at the eye-roll Remus gave him. James then said more quietly, “But really though, we’ll see you soon, alright? I’m sure we can meet up in Hogsmeade. Also, maybe get some sleep on the train since you obviously didn’t get much last night.”

“W-what?”

“Like I didn’t notice you put that muffling charm of Severus’ on your room so you and Remus could shag.”

Regulus turned away, red-faced, while James laughed.

“Well, I suppose I should go now.” He gave them all a wave, very much aware that some people were staring at him as he boarded the train.

In the prefect compartment, he was still being stared at. The new Slytherin prefects looked at him with tight, uncomfortable faces, while the other Houses’ were more curious than anything else. He supposed they were trying to find the logic in the choice of Head Boy. What he was curious about himself, however, was the mystery of who Head Girl was going to be. Soon, he got his answer. A Ravenclaw girl sat across from him, the bronze and blue badge neatly on her cloak. She had quite long blonde hair and had a bit of an ethereal quality to her.

Over the course of the train ride, he learned her name was Pandora. Regulus recognized her from some of his classes, but never bothered before to know who she was. (He vaguely recalled an incident where a cauldron started melting; it was due to experimentation rather than just following instructions incorrectly, if he remembered right) He found she was a rather straightforward person, but gentle nevertheless, and best of all, she talked to him normally as if she didn’t notice everyone else looking at him like he had sprouted antlers. Perhaps she actually would be alright to work with.

Wrangling and instructing the first years also went without any issues, but when he sat down for the Sorting and feast, he could feel the gazes of his fellow seventh year Slytherins burning into him. He smirked and watched the Sorting, not giving them any satisfaction of attention.

— 

Remus was scanning the shelves of the second-hand bookshop next to Florean Fortescue’s when he saw a familiar head of black hair engrossed in a rather large book.

“Hello, Severus.” He said pleasantly. No matter how pleasantly, however, once Severus saw who it was, he slammed the book closed.

"What are you doing here?” 

“Er, looking for books?” Remus wondered why the other had closed the book so quickly, but knew better than to ask. He did notice by the cover though that it was on magical plants. “I assume that’s your reason as well.”

“Yes, well…” Severus nodded, looking for the price. “I usually don’t run into anyone here, especially in the middle of the week. Since I did, of course it would be you.”

“Sorry.”

Severus shook his head gently. It wasn’t quite what he had meant.

“What are you looking for?”

“Oh.” Remus wasn’t expecting anything helpful. “Er, nothing in particular, really. Just looking for something that might be… useful.”

Severus let out a short snicker at Remus’ tone.

“Honestly, Remus, if you need to borrow some books on the Dark Arts, you need only ask. I’ve been telling you lot that it would be helpful if you knew more about what you’re going up against. And if you have to resort to something less defensive, then so be it.”

“Yes, I figured perhaps I should actually listen. And that’s kind of you to offer. You don’t have to bother with me...”

“I’ll lend some to you.” He continued talking before Remus could be modest some more. “You don’t happen to have any books on Herbology, do you?”

It was clear to Remus that Severus was determined to help.

“Thank you. I appreciate it. But no, I’m afraid I don’t.”

“Figured not, but on the off chance…” Severus gave a noncommittal shrug. “You never seemed particularly interested in the subject.”

“No. I suppose it’s quite essential for potions. Is that why you’re studying?”

“Yes.” He picked at the already frayed edges of the worn book. “Certain gaps in my knowledge are frustrating.”

“It seems like you’re working on something specific? If I may ask.”

Severus lingered on the question, his fidgeting increasing.

“We should meet somewhere else.”

“Oh, er, sure. Where?”

“Meet me at my house whenever you’re finished with anything you need to do today. This was the only place I needed to go, so I’ll be leaving shortly.”

“O-okay.” That felt weird, being invited to Severus’ house. But he was glad there was that kind of trust between them.

—   
  


“What do you mean, you're holding tryouts for the whole team?” Regulus was awfully close to shouting. He was afraid this would happen and knew whatever excuse Talkalot was about to give was going to be horseshit.

“Well, a bunch of players left now! I thought I might as well hold completely new tryouts for all positions.”

“You know only the positions of the players who graduated need replacing! I know you’re only trying to get rid of me. Are you really going to pass me up even though I’m the best Seeker in our House?”

“Then try out again, if you think that’s true!” She huffed. “Unless you rather try out for the Gryffindor team!”

He clenched his fists, shutting down the will to hex her.

“You would be sorry if I did.”

— 

“Thanks for inviting me.” Said Remus politely as he entered Severus’ house. Not that it was nice, but it wasn’t as bad as Remus expected. Perhaps it was because when he thought of ‘run-down’, he imagined something more like the Shrieking Shack, so in comparison, anything would be nicer than expected. It was perfectly livable, but he could still see the hints of neglect. Part of it even reminded him of his own, as it was a muggle house but with inklings of the magical here and there. He did notice though, how quiet it was. “Are your parents not home?”

“No.” Severus said stiffly as he led his guest through the house and to his room, where he immediately started picking out a few books. It seemed to Remus he knew beforehand exactly which ones to have him read. He looked around, and found that Severus had set up a potions station of sorts. On the table were open books with notes place-marking certain pages, along with several jars of ingredients and small cauldrons. 

“You’ve really been studying, haven’t you?”

“Yes.” Severus stacked the books neatly on his desk. He tapped the top cover anxiously, fully aware that Remus was now looking over his work.

Remus furrowed his brows as he looked through the marked pages.

“You’re studying the effects of wolfsbane?” He looked over to Severus, who nodded curtly. “Whatever for?”

“I’m not trying to create poisons, if that’s what you’re thinking.” He then muttered under his breath, “Maybe I really should take his advice.”

“Sorry?”

“Nothing. I just… do you think I could actually be hired by Dumbledore?”

“You want a job at Hogwarts?” Remus’ expression lightened.

“More like looking to apprentice under someone. Either Slughorn or Sprout. Or both.”  
  
“That’s an amazing idea! I really hope one of them will accept you! You will try, won’t you? I could write a letter saying why they should. Not that my opinion really matters, but if you had backup. Maybe James would send one as well.”

“I imagine he would, he already expressed his positive thoughts on the idea.” Severus’ cheeks turned slightly pink, flustered by the praise. He was unused to so many people really supporting him.

“Oh, you’ve been talking to James?” Remus forgot to hide the surprise in his tone.

“Yes.” He sighed. “Mostly business. About the war and what either of us expect to do. He finally managed to convince me not to do… anything too reckless. And no, the irony is not lost on me, Lupin.”

“Huh. Well, I’m glad you’re getting along okay. I’m sure Sirius is having a difficult time.”

Severus scoffed.

“So, what is it you wanted to talk to me about?”

“It’s about this research, actually.” Severus walked over to the potions table and stared at it, face tense.

“I thought we established these are two fields I’m the worst at.” Remus smiled.

“It’s not that. It’s about what the goal of it is.” He sighed. “Regulus didn’t tell me I should do this, but he put half the idea in my head so don’t put it all on me. He really wishes that there was something that could help you, you know. I’m not even sure if a cure is possible, but maybe if there was something that could at least make things better for you… as you can imagine, for obvious reasons I like the idea of making werewolves less dangerous.”

“You… are looking to cure lycanthropy?” 

It was unusual that Severus couldn’t understand what type of emotion was in Remus’ voice. The wolf was usually quite clear, even when he was trying not to be. 

“Like I said, I don’t even think it’s possible, at least for my level of knowledge. But if there is some way to, I don’t know, tame transformations or something, it could be the first step toward a cure in the future. But I’m really understanding why something like this hasn’t been created yet. It’s even more difficult considering a lack of testability, but I rather not poison you by accident. One of them might actually kill me this time.”

Remus figured ‘one of them’ meant James or Sirius. But he brushed that off quickly as his heart burst with affection toward Regulus for having such an idea. And at this moment, he really appreciated Severus. It was difficult for him to wrap his head around the idea that people would go so far for him.

“Severus, you—” Even the thought of having something that could help him filled him with emotion, which momentarily got stuck in his throat. “You’re a very good person, do you know that?”

“I’m really not.” Severus whispered.

“You are. It’s really amazing what you’re trying to do.” Remus gave him a bright smile. “If it works, you would be helping a lot of people, not just me.”

“If you say so.” He grumbled. “You’re willing to help me then, Remus?”

“Of course! Whatever questions you have… I’ll help the best I can.”

“You know, this place could actually be pretty nice with a bit of work.” Remus mused. The two had started talking, and ended up on the sitting room sofa for a couple hours, chatting idly.

“I suppose so. It would be fairly easy with magic, but my mother and I were never allowed to be seen doing magic in the house. I suppose now I co-” Severus stopped himself, but knew it was too late. It was clear by Remus’ alarmed face.

“What’s happened?” 

  
  


James hadn’t been expecting a knock on the door. Severus being at the door he expected even less. He couldn’t bring himself to make a joke, however, as it was clear to him that something was off once he saw the other’s face.

“Come in. What are you doing here?”

“I’m sorry. I hope… is it a bad time?”

“No, it’s fine.” James ran a hand through his hair. “Lily just left about ten minutes ago and Sirius is here of course, but we can have him leave us alone if you need to talk.”

Severus nodded and James let him in.

“What’s going on?” Asked Sirius, peeking from the stairs. “The hell? Snape’s here?” He sounded rather more surprised than irritated.

“Hey, could you give us some time?” James asked carefully.

“Er, sure.” Sirius got the hint that this wasn’t their usual bit of secrecy and headed back up. “I’ll be in my room if you need.”

James motioned to the sofa, sitting next to Severus once he sat down.

“What’s going on, Severus?”

He curled inward, burying his head in his hands as he breathed deeply. James let him take his time, but stared dumbfounded at the unfolding display of vulnerability.

“I can’t… I- I want to hate him. I want to loathe him with every fibre of my being. But I can’t. I just can’t. He’s too kind and good and I can’t hate him. He knows- he knows how fucking in love I am with Regulus and he is never anything but kind to me. How dare he have the _nerve_ … I could never be half as good as him, there isn’t a universe where Regulus would want someone like me over someone like him, no matter what he is.”

“You’re talking about Remus.” James muttered, more to himself than anything.

“He offered to stay so that I wasn’t alone.” Severus’ voice broke and, even though he couldn’t see his face, it was clear to James that he had started crying. He hadn’t seen Severus cry since they were eleven years old, and this was something different. It wasn’t his fault this time.

“What do you mean?”

“My mother’s taken ill and is in hospital. My father saw the chance to finally leave for good and took it.” He took a deep breath to try and compose himself, but his voice only got quieter. “I told Remus that she’ll be alright but I’m not actually so sure. I haven’t talked to Regulus, he has other things to concern himself with… ”

“Bloody hell.” After internally debating, James pulled him into a hug. “I’m sorry.”

This unprecedented affection was too much. He tried so hard to keep it together, but he was balancing on a wire in torrential rain. Severus sobbed against James’ shoulder without reservation. Shuddering, fragmented sobs. It was only for minutes, but to him it felt like hours. James didn’t know what to do except just let him.

They sat quietly for a while until Severus calmed.

“Thank you, James.” He finally whispered. “Could I…”

“You can stay tonight, if you need to. I’ve told you, if you ever need to.”

Sirius could see how red Severus’ eyes were as they passed each other in the hall. He was ashamed to admit that his curiosity got the best of him and he briefly peeked from the stairs to see what was happening. He couldn’t hear what either of them had been saying, but it shook him to see his once-enemy so broken. He supposed he couldn’t have gone to Regulus, being at Hogwarts, but it was still strange to Sirius that he would come to James. Remus was usually the more comforting one. It made him feel a trickle of irritation, but he pushed it aside. He wanted to know what was going on, but James only told him that Severus was staying for the night.

“So… you’re staying tonight.” Sirius knew he was stating the obvious, but couldn’t think of anything else to say. What _was_ he supposed to say?

“I’ll try not to get in your way.” Normally there would be more venom, but now Severus just sounded tired. Sirius shook his head. It clearly wasn’t the time for their usual rivalry. Even he wouldn’t go that low. He briefly considered whether his twelve year old self would have rubbed salt in the wound. Probably, he figured. And fifteen, and seventeen.

“You didn’t bring anything with you?”

Now that it was pointed out, it was true. Severus hadn’t brought anything. However,

“I wasn’t really sure what would happen. This wasn’t planned.”

“Hold on a second.”

Sirius left for his own room for a moment, then came back with some folded clothes in the form of pyjama bottoms and a t-shirt .

“What’s this?”

“Something to sleep in, obviously. And I expect those back, that’s my Pink Floyd shirt.”

“Oh.” Severus took them gingerly. “Thank you.”

“Hey uh… Snape?” Sirius hesitated.

“Black.”

“I’ll be next door, I guess. If you need anything.”

Severus stood there momentarily in complete bewilderment. He must have looked truly pathetic if Black was performing a kind gesture for him.

James stared at Severus at the breakfast table. Mrs. Potter was absolutely delighted in the morning to find out he spent the night, taking the opportunity as usual to put extra food on his plate. This was usually supper, followed by a reminder that there’s always an extra room if he ever needed one. He never thought he would ever accept the offer.

“Those are Sirius’ clothes.” James finally said. They were a little loose, but not dramatically so.

“Oh. Yes. Er, he offered once he realized I had nothing with me. I would have noticed eventually but I wasn’t going to ask.”

“That’s… weird.”

“Yes. He was being so frighteningly civil I almost had nightmares about it.”

James laughed, nearly choking on his toast.

“Hopefully this means he’s starting to come around. He’s the only one left out of all of us.”

“Things would get done much more efficiently if he stopped antagonizing me every time we interact.” Severus paused, hesitating to verbalize his next thought. “I know I don’t help, I make it worse. At least you’re able to keep a level head these days.” He lightly clutched his arm where the Mark would have been. James noticed, but didn’t point it out.

“I’m sorry if I shouldn’t be asking, but you met up with Remus yesterday?”

Severus nodded curtly.

“There were some things we needed to discuss, but then it just… got to be too much for the moment.”

“You’re having a hard time right now. Of course it’s affecting you. I really think both of you could be great friends though. You seem to actually get along really well. But I know it’s hard not to let your feelings for Regulus get in the way. I know you’ll be fine, even if it might take a while.” James offered a smile. “Eventually support them as you support me and Lily. Maybe you’ll find someone at last.”

“Tch. Like I won’t be alone forever.” He really did wish that James was right, however, that he could truly accept them. After all, he just couldn’t hate Remus. “You have eyes, right?”

“Aw, don’t be like that.”

"That’s how it is.”

Sirius finally meandered over, hair messy with bed-head.

“You guys started eating already?” He whined.

“It’s what you get for always sleeping so late.” Said James. He always woke up earlier than Sirius. Apparently Severus was an early-riser as well. Though Remus had Sirius beat when it came to the ability of sleeping in. Truly a master. “Quick, tell Severus that he isn’t ugly like he’s insinuating.”

“What?” Sirius felt a quick touch of panic and decided to ignore the question.

“You heard me.”

“I’m not involving myself in whatever weird conversation you're having. Too early.”

“Hey, Snape, can I, er, talk to you?” Sirius stopped him while on his way to bathe and get dressed, figuring he shouldn’t intrude for too much longer. The Potters had already been kind enough to provide a generously large breakfast.

“What do you want?” Severus said this shortly, but was thrown off once he made eye contact.

Sirius motioned to his room and Severus followed without fuss, although warily. Once inside, he found a chair to sit in. Sirius sat at the edge of his bed and was quiet for a moment as if trying to gather his thoughts. It was a bit disconcerting seeing Black so pensive, thought Severus.

“I wanted to say—” The words sounded difficult to get out. “I wanted to say that I apologize. For a lot of things I suppose, but mostly that time.”

“That time you nearly got me killed by a werewolf?’ Severus muttered.

“Yeah.” Sirius barely whispered, staring intently at the floor.

Severus looked for any sign of deception, but couldn’t find anything. And Sirius had never been a subtle person. He had never thought about whether or not he’d forgive him if he ever got an apology, despite the incident being a thought that had often plagued his mind.

“Why did you do it?” He asked softly.

“I don’t know, I—” Sirius sighed, trying to look everywhere but the other’s eyes. “I was sixteen and stupid. I just wanted to give you a scare. I didn’t even consider the possibility of someone getting killed.”

“By a werewolf.”

“I _know_. Remus is my friend and I know how he is day to day, I didn’t even think of the danger at the time. I legitimately forgot how dangerous a werewolf could be. He— ” He almost let slip that Remus was never dangerous to them while they were animals. That was his only experience with the full moon. He always felt safe enough.

“Only you would be stupid enough to forget that a werewolf is dangerous.”

“I’m so sorry, Snape.” Sirius breathed with difficulty, trying to keep emotions in. “Severus, I’m so sorry.”

Severus twitched involuntarily at actually hearing his first name out of Sirius Black of all people. Of course he had been on a first-name basis with James and Remus for a while now, but this one he didn’t expect to happen. It felt particularly strange at first to say ‘James’ in sincerity rather than the usual ‘Potter’ in disdain, but the feeling was more comfortable now. Maybe this could be the same.

“Sirius.” He tried.

“Y-yeah?” Sirius looked at him in anticipation.

“I was just saying your name.”

“Oh.”

“Sirius, thank you for apologizing.” He clasped his hands together. “I hope… you can follow through in your actions. Then I’ll be able to forgive you. Whatever you give me, I’ll give to you. Whether it’s an attempt at friendship or a regression back to enemies. Personally, I’m tired of fighting.” He was just so exhausted.

It took a long moment for Sirius to respond.

“I’m tired of fighting, too.” He said quietly. “Thank you for not completely shutting me down. I’ll try to make it up to you. Everyone else seems to have. But as we’ve established, I’m an idiot.” He sighed. “And, er, also, thank you for being a good friend to my brother. I should have said so much sooner. I don’t know what would’ve happened to him without you.”

That definitely wasn’t something Severus wanted to talk about.

“I’m pleased you mended your relationship with him. He was very happy.”

“It took me long enough.”

“Yes, it had been especially irritating when you found out he and Remus were together and you had your spat. If I didn’t know you had a bad relationship with your brother, one could have thought you were jealous.”

“What, jealous of Reggie?” Sirius said incredulously.

“Even Regulus thought you and Remus were more likely to end up together.” How pathetic he thought he was at this last-ditch effort.

“Really?” Sirius thought about it and shrugged. “Nah, of course I adore Remus but I never thought about him that way. I didn’t even know that was something on the table until this past year.”

“I see.” Severus raised a brow at the implication. Sirius cleared his throat awkwardly. 

“Anyway, er…” He brushed past the subject. “Thanks for giving me your time. I guess you can go take your bath now.”

“Hey so, have you ever heard them before?” Sirius asked as Severus returned the clothes to him, emphasizing the shirt.

“Hm? No. I assume it’s a muggle band?”

“Yeah. Do you like listening to music at all?”

“About as much as anyone else, I suppose. I just don’t really… own much.” Severus rather not discuss with Sirius how poor he was. But Sirius grinned.

“We should listen to them together sometime. They’re really good.”

Severus was taken aback. It was the utter sincerity in which Sirius spoke to him. Did it really take them so long to get past their contempt when the fix was so simple? They were really that stubborn? If Sirius had tried to apologize directly after the incident, Severus didn’t think he would have accepted it. He knew he wouldn’t have even given Sirius the time of day. But now after everything… Was he really about to agree to _hang out_ with Sirius Black of his own volition? Hesitantly, he nodded. First crying to James, now this. He really did end up in a completely different place than what he expected in school. But, he needed to put in just as much effort as Sirius was. It was clear he meant it.

“You sure you don’t want to stay today?” Asked James as they were saying their goodbyes. Severus shook his head.

“I have work to do, that’s all. But,” he gave an ever so slight smile, “I’ll stay again soon. Thank you for everything as always, James. See you, Sirius.”

“Severus.” Sirius gave a small wave. James looked at them like they had grown two heads.

“Have you both been Confunded?!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry Remus and Regulus must be apart for just a little while ;o; it can't be helped. But it'll be for only a short time, I promise.
> 
> Also, as a heads-up if you need it, the next chapter is a bit longer than usual. It's about 1.5x the length of this one.


	3. Exactly Where I Want To Be (In Which There's Friendship and Drinking)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a lot in this chapter. I hope you like it half as much as I do ;v;

_Dear Regulus,_

_I am very sorry to hear that so many of your classmates are giving you the cold shoulder. Hopefully they won’t influence the other years to treat you the same. But be sure to tell us or, even better, Dumbledore if they’re giving you any real trouble, alright? I don’t want to feel the need to worry about you. And please don’t hex anyone this year. Well, unless it’s purely defensive I suppose. But please don’t get yourself into that sort of situation._

_In any case, now that I’ve fretted at you enough, things are alright here. I’ve been doing a lot of studying lately— I mustn’t let myself stagnate. Also, I will let you know the exact date, but I’ll be coming to Hogwarts for a meeting with Dumbledore in the near future. James, Lily, and Sirius as well. We’re trying for a weekend so you can spend the day with us. That would make me very happy. I’m sorry this letter isn’t particularly long, James seems to have written to you and I rather not be too repetitive. Still, I wanted to let you know you’re on my mind in my heart._

_With love,_

_Remus_

— 

_Dear Regulus,_

_Damn right you won your way back on the Quidditch team! It’s complete shite you had to try out again, but of course you completely destroyed the competition! I’m not surprised at all. And I’m glad to hear you get along with the new Head Girl despite some of the prefects only listening to you begrudgingly. I hope they learn to respect you. That name is familiar though, I think I remember her. Isn’t she with that unusual Ravenclaw in your year? Lovegood? Anyway, I assume Remus told you that we’ll be coming to Hogwarts sometime soon? Well in case he didn’t, that’s happening. Don’t want it to be a surprise. Also, I saw the strangest thing happen recently. Sirius and Severus were_ _getting along_ _. Yes, you read that right. I guess Sirius must have apologized or something, but I couldn't believe it at first. My only explanation is that they’ve both gone mad. Still, I quite prefer this improvement._

_Speaking of Severus, have you heard from him recently? Obviously I just saw him, but I wasn’t sure if he was in contact with you or not. I forgot to ask while he was here. Mum was thrilled to have him over again and sent him home with a lot of food. I think my parents miss having you here already. They’re very fond of you, you know. But also they’re sad that Sirius will be moving into his own place soon. It’ll be more quiet here._

_I know you have a lot of work to do, but make sure to also try and enjoy your last year, okay?_

_Sincerely,_

_James_

— 

Regulus sat along the lake, rereading the letters he received. He had been feeling particularly discouraged, but this picked him right back up. He didn’t think he’d see the day his brother and Severus stopped fighting every time they were in the same room. He wondered what happened. Now that James asked, though, he hadn’t received a letter from Severus yet. He wanted to write to him, but wasn’t sure if he should. He wanted to maintain their friendship, but at the same time, wasn’t sure if writing to him would only be worse for Severus’ feelings at the moment. He just didn’t know. He pushed the thought aside and focused instead on the visit, making him feel giddy. He then heard steps coming toward him.

“Good afternoon.” Regulus said cheerfully.

“Beautiful day to be by the lake, isn’t it?” Pandora asked. “May I sit?”

“Of course.”

“Letters from your friends?” She hugged her knees, smiling serenely. Regulus nodded, not feeling the need to correct.

“Hey, you’re dating… his name is Lovegood, right?”

“Oh, yes. Xenophilius.” Her cheeks turned a pale pink. “Why do you ask?”

“James was just wondering if he was thinking of the correct person after I let him know who Head Girl was. He had been curious about who I was to be working with. That’s all.”

“Ah, he was the previous Head Boy. Yes, I saw both of you saying goodbye at the platform. With his friends and… one of them was your brother, right?”

“Yeah, I wonder why he hasn’t written yet.”

“May I? I was talked about after all.” She giggled, motioning to the letters.

“Oh, er, sure.” Regulus blushed, handed her the letters. He almost didn’t include the one from Remus, but that would have looked suspicious. She read that one first, causing knots in his stomach.

“My,” she said gently with a soft smile, “not only a friend then, I suppose.”

“R-right.” He barely managed.

“I remember he was always very kind. Some would say he was too lenient as a prefect, but I admired his graciousness.”

“Yes, that’s all true of him.” Regulus relaxed as she began reading James’ letter.

“People do judge Xenophilius a bit much, don’t they?” She said a little sadly. “At least he’s more polite about it, unlike some.”

“I’m in no position to judge.” Regulus shrugged. “And James doesn’t necessarily mean it in a bad way. He has a habit of befriending those who have been ostracized in some way. Maybe ‘ostracized’ is a strong word, but you know what I mean.”

“Very Gryffindor.” Pandora laughed, handing back the letters.

“I’m surrounded by them. So exhausting.” He rolled his eyes jokingly.

“Where will you go during Christmas? Will you be going back to the Potters’, or will you stay with your brother?” She paused. “Or with Mr. Lupin?” 

“Er,” he blushed, flustered, “I don’t know actually. I figured I’d stay with all of them at some point. Dunno how Christmas is going to work out. I figured I would spend it with Remus, but I know Sirius always spends it with the Potters.” It had been so long since he spent a holiday with Sirius it made his heart ache to think about.

“I’m sure you all can come to a good arrangement.” She said in encouragement.

“I hope so. Speaking of Remus though, I’d have thought you’d rather be spending time with Lovegood today?”

“Oh, he knows I have friends that I like to see. Yes, we made plans for later today. Er- can I call you a friend?”

Regulus’ heart soared.

“Yes. Thank you. I’d very much like to be friends.”

“I’m very glad. I think Xenophilius would like to be your friend too. You have us if you ever need it.”

He felt as though he could have cried. He wasn’t alone here.

— 

Regulus wandered the halls, unable to sit still. He knew he had been procrastinating on meeting with Dumbledore, but he wasn’t expecting the man to send him a note arranging a meeting in his office. He still had a lot of time before needing to be there, but he was just too anxious to focus on anything. So he decided to walk around aimlessly.

After a while, someone brought him out of his thoughts.

“Severus?” He said in surprise.

“Hello, Regulus.” 

“It’s good to see you.” He smiled softly. “But what are you doing here?”

“I was here to see Dumbledore. I’ve just left his office. How are you?” Severus tried to hide the concern in his voice, but it slipped nevertheless. It was always harder hiding things from Regulus.

“I’m alright. Are you busy? Let’s sit somewhere if you aren’t…”

“I have a moment.” Severus said and they found a bench to sit on. He sighed. “I’m sorry that I haven’t written. I wasn’t sure if… you would want me to.”

“Oh. No, I would like you to write. It’s okay. I suppose I was feeling the same. I didn’t know if it would make things worse or better for you.”

“I would like you to write as well. But thank you for thinking of me.”

“We’re both idiots sometimes aren’t we?” Regulus laughed.

“That seems to be the case.” Severus thought himself to be the bigger idiot, but didn’t want an argument about his own self-loathing.

“Anyway, what sort of business did you have with Dumbledore?”

“I’m looking to work under someone in an apprenticeship or the like.” Severus kept his gaze down bashfully, as if it were a ridiculous thing for him to do. But Regulus gave him the brightest smile. He couldn’t help but notice it was so similar to the reaction Remus gave him.

“Really? What’d he say?”

“He will have to talk it over with the staff in question. Which may take at least a few days.”

“That means he’s considering it! That’s really really great! Everyone knows how skilled you are. It’d be stupid not to let you.”

“Thank you for saying so.” Severus let out a puff of air in what was almost a laugh. “You can actually be alike sometimes, both of you.”

“What?”

“You and Remus. His reaction was quite a bit similar to yours. ”

“Oh.” Regulus blushed. “You’ve been talking to him?”

Severus nodded.

“Mostly business.” A phrase he found himself repeating.

“I don’t know the details, but I heard you were spending time with James and Sirius, too. And that you and Sirius were actually getting along.” After waiting a moment for a response and not getting one, he continued, “That makes me happy, you know. I’m glad we’re not all fighting each other.”

“It’s better this way.” It was hard for him to admit, but he never really felt he could go to people like Malfoy or Avery like he could Remus or James. Perhaps not Sirius. Not yet, at least. Maybe they could be that comfortable eventually. “That’s enough about me, what about you?” He really didn’t want the conversation to stray to his home problems. The fact that the other two were being mother hens was enough.

“Alright, like I said.” Regulus shrugged. “It’s hard sometimes, with my roommates pretending I’m not there, but I’ve made friends elsewhere. And I still get to play Quidditch, so I’ve been able to take out my frustrations during practice.”

“Bastards.” Severus grumbled.

Regulus laughed. 

“I’m alright, really. It’ll be even better to see you around regularly if you do indeed end up back here.”

“So, you said you’ve made friends? Gryffindors?”

“No.” Regulus shook his head. “Ravenclaws. The Head Girl and her boyfriend. Pandora and Xenophilius. You’re still my best friend though, of course. Hmmm, James perhaps a close second.”

“He’s… a good friend to have.” Severus managed a slight smile. “You could have been a good Ravenclaw.”

“Eh, maybe. Did you know they have to solve a riddle to get into their common room? That’s a bit much.”

“It would be easy for you, I’m sure. Ah-” Severus realized the time. “My apologies for cutting our conversation short. I’m afraid I have more obligations today.”

“Oh, yes of course. I don’t want to keep you. I’m glad I got to talk to you today.” Regulus said as they stood up.

“You as well.”

When Regulus hugged him he nearly pulled away, but let it happen, returning it instead. One day, maybe, he could do so without feeling sad about it. This sadness, however, was less aggressive as it usually was. He thought maybe that breakdown he had at the Potters’ must have been cathartic somehow. It wasn’t as though his feelings were miraculously gone, but much of the heaviness was. Now, he felt as if he broke through whatever was preventing him from being able to start moving forward.

  
  


At that point, it was almost time, so Regulus decided he would just go to the Headmaster’s office and, if he had to, wait.

“May I help you, Mr. Black?” Came the voice of Professor McGonagall.

“Er, yes ma’am. I have a meeting with Dumbledore.”

“Ah, yes. He did mention something of the sort. Right this way.” She led him to the entrance to the Gargoyle Corridor, where she gave it the password so Regulus could go through. “He may have slipped out for a moment, but should be back shortly.”

The Headmaster’s office was a stunning room. Regulus stared, thinking he could be there all day and still find things to discover in it. What kind of amazing things someone as old as Dumbledore could have collected over the years? He resisted fiddling with any of the interesting little silver instruments, and smiled in delight at the sight of Fawkes the phoenix. That was possibly the most beautiful creature he had ever seen. But then he laid his eyes on a different object— one that caused a flood of memory to replay in his mind: The Sorting Hat.

*

"Black, Regulus!" McGonagall called out.

The youngest Black took a breath and walked up, sitting on the stool with a quiet nervousness. What if he got something other than Slytherin? What if he was sorted with his brother? No, he didn't want that. His parents would be so disappointed. Soon, the Sorting Hat was placed lightly on his head, covering half his small face.

" _Another Black, I see._ " The Hat said in his mind. Lucius had told Regulus that the Hat put him in Slytherin the very second it touched his head. Same with Bellatrix. Why wasn't he immediately placed? The Hat sensed the concern. " _Slytherin, eh? Just like your parents, and your cousins, and their parents. The house really does favor the pure-blood, doesn't it? Except your brother. Do you not want to be with your brother?_ "

" _No._ " Regulus denied the thought. " _It must have been a mistake with him. He is a shame_." The words didn't come from him, really. That's just what everyone around him had been saying.

" _Are you absolutely certain about that? You would do very well in Gryffindor, you know, despite that Slytherin cunning of yours. It could be very good for you._ " Regulus didn't appreciate that mocking tone the Hat was giving him.

" _You're lying to me_."

" _The Hat never lies, boy. You really would do well there_."

" _No. I can't be in Gryffindor._ "

" _Are you really certain?_ "

" _Yes. I have expectations to uphold._ "

" _Very well, if you insist. In that case_ , SLYTHERIN!" The Hat finally called out.

Regulus Black, Slytherin, stepped down with stoic expression, momentarily glanced at his brother as he went to join his house, giving a robotic smile to Lucius and his cousins as he sat down for the start of the year feast. He turned to the skinny black-haired boy next to him.

“Hello.” He said shyly.

“Er, hello.” Replied Severus.

*

"Regulus Black, it's been a while, hasn't it?" Said the Sorting Hat in its familiar, insufferable tone. Regulus was brought back to the present day.

"Hello." He responded curtly.

"Unusual to see you here, of all people. So, how is the House you so desired working out for you?"

"Very well, thanks. It's working out incredibly well." Bloody hell, he couldn't stand how that stupid hat spoke. It looked like he wanted to say more, but he kept his mouth shut. Still, he kept glancing at the Hat. 

"What's on your mind, boy? You're not questioning your sorting, are you?"

"Not quite." Regulus hated to say but, "However, you were right. I understand why you wanted to put me in Gryffindor. I would have done well there, as you said. But I am exactly where I want to be right now. There are two paths I was made to choose between. I feel as though I am going down the correct one… perhaps my heart is in Gryffindor, but Slytherin is why I am where I am now. I _am_ a Slytherin. And I don't regret it. I only wish I had realized the correct path sooner." He nearly jumped out of his skin as he heard another voice in the room.

"Nicely said, I must say." Dumbledore said with a smile.

“S-sir, I didn’t see you come in.”

“As is often the case when one’s mind is elsewhere.” He said pleasantly, wandering over to his desk and motioning for Regulus to come sit, which he obliged. “So, Mr. Black, how have your duties as Head Boy been treating you?”

“Very well, sir. Thank you. I’ve been meaning to come by and thank you for appointing me.” Regulus looked down awkwardly. “My apologies.”

“You have had a rather busy start of term. No time to concern yourself with an old man like me.” Dumbledore said, but his eyes had a glimmer of amusement. “The word is you have proven to be firm but fair in your leadership thus far, thus I am pleased to know my intuition was correct.”

“Better than the last one then, sir?” Regulus offered a hesitant smile. Dumbledore chuckled heartily.

“How is Mr. Potter doing?”

“As well as ever. Sirius is in the middle of moving out though, so I’m not sure how well he’ll handle it for a while.” He paused. “Either of them, really.”

“I assume you will be going to your brother’s residence during holidays for the time being?”

“Yes, sir.”

Dumbledore gave him the softest of smiles.

“That’s good. You should be proud of yourself, Regulus.”

Regulus flushed, looking away from the Headmaster.

“I didn’t have much choice.”

“But you did. All the choices you made to end up where you have.”

He thought about it, and couldn’t argue. He thought of choices, where we could have been instead, and his mind wandered to Severus.

“Sir, I hope you accept the offer from Severus. It would be good for him to be here. Besides, he’s already more skilled than Slughorn probably. Er, meaning no disrespect to Professor Slughorn.”

“I quite agree.” Dumbledore said, catching Regulus a little unexpected. “Nevertheless, I must talk it over with both him and Professor Sprout.”

“Professor Sprout?”

“Ah, that comes as a surprise to you.”

“He didn’t mention it.” He muttered.

“In any case, you’re not the only one who is trying to convince me. I’ve received four letters already giving Severus their support. Quite unprecedented indeed.”

“ _Four_? I assume two are from Remus and James, but… ”

“So that isn’t a surprise to you after all. How heartwarming to hear old childhood grudges remain in the past.” Dumbledore’s eyes twinkled through those half-moon glasses. “Yes, the other two I had received from Lily Evans and, while a touch later than the others, Sirius Black.”

“What _have_ they all been up to?” Regulus said, flabbergasted. Dumbledore chuckled heartily at this, but then a voice came from one of the paintings on the wall.

“Is that Regulus?” Said the painting of Phineas Nigellus Black. Regulus stared intensely at his great-great-grandfather, anger building up in him. This anger was interrupted, however, when he was spoken to in such a contemplative way. “Look at you. Head Boy. You’ve grown into a fine lad— you have my eyes, you know.”

“Don’t let my parents hear you talking like that.” Regulus said harshly, forgetting momentarily that Dumbledore was right there. “I’m sure they’ll just burn the canvas.”

“Indeed. Your father is feeling regretful, you know.” Phineas said boredly. “Your mother not so much, but your father found letting Bellatrix do what she did to be crossing a line. If that means anything to you.”

“It doesn’t. It still happened.”

“Phineas, please.” Dumbledore said patiently. 

“Fine.” Phineas scoffed, leaving his painting for the one in his family home.

“I assume we’ll need to cut our meeting shorter than expected.” The Headmaster said, seeing Regulus shaking so slightly. He put a comforting hand on the boy’s shoulder. Regulus relaxed a little.

“I’m sorry, sir.” He said quietly.

“Quite alright. Though I admit my curiosity gets the best of me occasionally. I must ask before you go, how are things between you and Mr. Lupin?”

Regulus felt his heart flutter, wondering if Dumbledore was trying to give him something happier to think about.

“Wonderfully.” He managed a smile. “Thank you.”

Dumbledore nodded fondly.

“Oh and sir, before I leave… thank you very much for the birthday gift. I really appreciated it.”

“You're very welcome. I thought you might have figured out whom it was from.”

After saying their goodbyes, Regulus went back to his dorm despite it being the middle of the afternoon, the interaction with Phineas Nigellus replaying again. Because of the time, no one else was there, which is what he wanted. He curled up in bed, covering himself completely with a blanket, even though it was already so hard to breathe.

— 

Well this is depressing, thought Sirius as he arrived at Spinner’s End. In theory, it was about what he was expecting, but in practice, he wasn’t quite prepared for it. He really had gotten used to the cushy lifestyle of the Potters. Plus he still couldn’t believe Severus agreed to hang out with him and that it was okay to come to his house despite everything Regulus said about the Snape family.

“Hey, I brought snacks!” He said cheerfully when Severus answered the door.

“Come in. Make yourself at home. As much as you can, I suppose. I know it’s not what you're used to.” Severus looked tired again. The house was also slightly different than when Remus had been there. For one, it was much cleaner and he had also moved his potions things in the sitting room once he realized he had the freedom to do so. He had gotten so used to keeping everything confined to his bedroom. His studies on wolfsbane were temporarily put aside as he worked on brewing some general potions he was running low on. The cleanliness was a result of his nervousness. He found it a way to deal with the anxious energy, so much so, he did most of it without magic. It was a multi-day project. Sirius looked curiously at the vase full of carnations on the table.

“It’s fine. Flowers from an admirer?” He teased.

“Don’t be stupid. I just… needed some color. Something less depressing.”

Sirius now felt bad for his previous thoughts.

“They’re nice.” He sat on the sofa and relaxed. “So we’re here alone right now, or?”

Severus sat beside him and sighed. Without tears this time, he told Sirius the situation, trying to ignore the increasingly horrified expression on the other’s face as he spoke.

“Bloody hell, I… is… is that what you came to James about that day?” Sirius asked softly.

“Partly, yes.”

“I mean, your father is an arsehole, right? So good riddance then that he went and buggered off so you don’t have to deal with the bastard anymore.”

Severus was taken aback by the bluntness. However, he didn’t mind. He appreciated the affectionate sympathies that James and Remus gave him, truly he did, but he really didn’t want to cry about it again. Sirius was letting him not be Snivellus.

“I guess so.”

“Do you visit your mum?”

“Yes. I was there early this morning.”

“Then you still had your meeting with Dumbledore? Surprised you have the energy for me right now. No wonder you have bags under your eyes.” Despite it all, Sirius was fighting the urge of those affectionate sympathies. He resigned himself to playfully poking the other’s cheek.

“Yes thank you for pointing it out.”

“My pleasure.” He grinned. “So how did it go anyway? At Hogwarts.”

“It seemed to go well, but Dumbledore is a very difficult man to read.”

“It’ll be fine.” Sirius offered a smile, momentarily putting a hand on Severus’ shoulder before meandering to the kitchen. “Let’s see if there’s anything to drink!”

Really taking ‘make yourself at home’ to heart, Severus supposed. That was fine.

“Hey, whiskey!”

“You can have it.” Severus said. “I won’t touch it, so it’s yours if you want. Unless you’re an angry drunk, then I rather you not. I just cleaned the place.”

The kitchen went quiet for a moment. Finally, sound resumed again as he heard the clinking of a glass. Sirius came back with both the glass and the whiskey bottle.

“Do you not drink then?”

“No, I do. Just not… his.” He eyed the bottle disdainfully. “But like I said, you can have it. At least it will be used.”

“I see. I suppose I should have brought some gin then? Then we could get drunk together. It’d be fun. Well, depending on the kind of drunk you are.”

“Please.” Severus lazily summoned another glass and a bottle of gin. “I have my hiding places.”

“Huh. I was just guessing your taste.” Sirius shrugged. “Well, cheers!”

Sirius wasn’t sure if he was more impressed or horrified that Severus managed to drink at least a jigger’s worth of gin in one go without even a hint of a shudder, but chose to not make a fuss about it.

“You know, I feel like such a bloody arsehole.” Sirius said after a while.

“What did you do this time?” Severus replied. He was sitting on the floor, head resting against the cushion of the sofa, which Sirius was lounging on, legs taking up most of its length.

“ _Nothing_. I mean for stuff from the past.”

“Didn’t we go over this? You don’t need to apologize a second time.”

“It’s not that.” He sighed, resting his arm over his eyes. “Aside from that, I said such cruel things to you. And I feel bad for saying such… stupid things about my brother. I knew nothing about what was going on in his head. And for getting so angry at Moony- er, Remus. I treated him so poorly.” Sirius didn’t get a reply from Severus immediately, but heard him pour himself another drink.

“You and your nicknames. They know you’re sorry, I’m sure.”

“I hope they do. Speaking of Reggie though. Both of you seem to be kinda awkward around each other recently. Before he went back to school at least. Did something happen?”

Severus shifted uncomfortably.

“We… had a disagreement of sorts.” He murmured. It wasn’t completely false. “It’s- it’s alright though. We’re returning to normal. It’s mostly, no, completely my fault. As it usually is.”

“Sorry to hear. Even more sorry to ask, but what about you and Lily? You also were best friends.”

“She has begun to give me a chance at friendship again. I’m really grateful.”

“You had feelings for her, right?” Sirius didn’t know why he decided to ask such a thing. Morbid curiosity?

“Yes.” He whispered.

“Yeah, I could tell at the time. James, too. That’s probably part of the reason why he acted so badly toward you. Out of jealousy or something. As you know, we were pretty stupid children.”

“We were. Even though any sort of infatuation for her subsided, I mourned our friendship more than anything. She was my first real friend, after all. Then I really fucked up. You know. You were there.”

“Ha. You do have quite a filthy mouth sometimes, don’t you?” Even though Severus couldn’t see Sirius’ grin, he could hear it. He felt his insides squirm unpleasantly. The words he would call people. Uttered from the same lips he had the gall to kiss Regulus with.

“Regrettably so.”

“We’re both horrible people, aren’t we?”

“I’d say so.”

“That should have united us ages ago.” Sirius held his arm out, holding an empty glass. “Oi, get me another, will you?”

Severus grabbed the bottle of whiskey and poured a bit more than initially intended.

“It’s no wonder anyone I’ve caught feelings for ended up with someone much better than me. Anyone is better than me.”

“Wait wait what? You saying you’re interested in someone?? And damn, that was a generous pour. Why not go for it? Surely you wouldn’t fuck up as much as you did with Lily.” Now that he said it, Sirius wasn’t sure if he actually wanted to hear the answer, but it was too late.

“There’s no point. I just have to get past it.” He remembered what Sirius had said about Remus that day he apologized, and it made him more comfortable to speak more honestly. “He doesn’t return my feelings, and is with someone who is much better for him.” He couldn’t bear to see what kind of expression Sirius had.

“... _Ah_.” Sirius thought about it, then scrambled to lay on his side, being careful not to spill his drink. He looked at Severus with an incredibly grim expression. “It isn’t James is it? That would be the most horrible bit of irony I could think of!”

“Merlin, no!” In spite of himself, Severus actually laughed. Sirius nearly fell off the sofa.

“You can _laugh_. I don’t think I’ve ever heard you laugh before, even sarcastically!”

“Of course I can fucking laugh, you dolt. I just… don’t.”

“I’ll need to get you drunk more if it means you’ll laugh. But what’s wrong with James? I don’t think my guess was unreasonable!”

“Nothing, I’ve become very fond of James. Obviously. But he’s not really my type.”

“Your type.”

“I’m not really into Chasers I suppose.” Severus shrugged. Sirius barked in laughter, holding onto the back of the sofa to once again keep himself from falling. He hadn't realized Severus had a sense of humor. “And you best drop the subject because I’m not telling you. Plus, I’m _trying_ to move on.”

“Fine, fine. So,” Sirius reached over to prod the other’s shoulder, “who else has had the honor of your laughter, aside from me?”

“Mh, just Lily and Regulus.” Severus was starting to feel a bit sleepy sitting in the same spot for too long.

“That’s all? I guess that makes sense. You should do it more I think.” Sirius thought about it a bit more. Lily and Regulus. His lips parted as the realization came to him. It made complete sense. Regulus. But he wasn’t going to say anything about it. The subject was dropped, after all. He still felt oddly uncomfortable about it though, despite them being friends now. _Were_ they friends now? But he knew there was no reason to worry. “Hey, let’s listen to some music!”

“Right, we were going to do that, weren’t we? I do need to move before I fall asleep.” Severus stood up with difficulty, having a slight dizzy spell and needing to hold onto the table to balance himself. “Too fast.”

“Careful, you’re a rather small person you know.” Sirius stood with only a slight wobble.

“You’re barely taller than me.”

“Yeah, but you’re really thin. Amazed you can handle as much as you just did.” They started leading each other down the hall to Severus’ room, making sure neither of them toppled over. Sirius examined the room, squinting at one of the shelves. “You have a lot of books.”

“Yes.” Severus said simply as he pulled out the old record player. “By the way, I was wondering. What’s with the nickname they call you? ‘Moony’ is easy to understand as being Remus, but for the life of me I can’t figure out what ‘Padfoot’ is supposed to mean.”

“Of course you would ask that eventually.” Sirius flopped onto the bed. Maybe it was the alcohol, but he was feeling incredibly trusting. “Would you rat me out if I admitted to doing something illegal?”

Severus raised a brow at him.

“Depends. Is it something dangerous or just stupid?”

“Neither! Well, I guess stupid if you consider doing something illegal as being stupid.”

“I wouldn’t go out of my way for something benign.” Not that he had any room to talk with all the dark magic he’d experimented with.

“You promise?”

“Sure. It couldn’t possibly be worse than nearly murdering me.”

“Definitely not. I’m an unregistered animagus.”

Severus wasn’t sure what to expect, but it wasn’t that.

“...What? No you aren’t.”

“Yes I am! I turn into a dog. Hence Padfoot.”

“Prove it.” He crossed his arms. And Sirius did. He changed into the large black dog, amused at the look of utter shock on Severus’ face. Sirius cheerfully trotted over to him and nuzzled against his leg, wagging his tail. “Fuck, you’re telling the truth.”

Sirius turned back, smiling.

“I do really like this Severus who laughs and swears like a sailor.”

“Shut up, you’re absolutely mad. For how long?”

“Figured it out by our fifth year. You see, werewolves are only dangerous to humans. As a dog, I could keep Remus company.”

Severus hated the fact that he was impressed.

“That’s why you didn’t think of a transformed Remus as dangerous. You really went this far for a friend?”

“Of course I did. But… yeah. It’s terrifyingly easy to forget when your general experience with a werewolf is playing tag around the Shrieking Shack.”

“It could have gone so badly. I can’t believe you did that at sixteen.”

“Have I actually impressed you?” Sirius was worried his admission would go badly, but his fears now left him.

“Don’t know why you would feel the need to impress _me_.” He paused. “In any case, you left the records out there.”

“Oops.” But before Sirius could get out his wand, Severus already summoned them. “I… you’re very good at magic.”

“I know. So, which one?”

“Hmm…” Sirius deliberated a moment before putting on _Wish You Were Here_. The two relaxed quietly, the Snape home being the most peaceful it had been in a long time.

_What did you dream?♪_

“Sirius…”

“Yeah?”

“You’re different than I expected.” Severus said gently.

“Better I hope?”

“... Yes.” He didn’t see Sirius smile to himself as they stopped talking for a little while longer.

“Sirius?”

“Severus.”

“I don’t think I could get through this without you and James.” He whispered. “Thank you for being here.”

“No need to thank me. I-” Sirius was stopped short by seeing the tears rolling down Severus’ cheeks. He moved closer so that their shoulders were touching. “You shouldn’t have to be alone right now.”

He wasn’t being mocked. He felt safe and liked and comforted.

_Threatened by shadows at night and exposed in the light_.♪

Severus stirred, blinking awake and immediately regretting consciousness. His head hurt and the light was too bright. Was it morning? No, glancing at the window, it was dark out. He had just left the light on. Squinting at the clock with his strained eyes, he saw it was just after one in the morning. He nearly let out a groan, but then froze, becoming once again aware of the person beside him. He wanted to groan again. He actually fell asleep next to Sirius Black. Severus turned to him, about to wake him up and tell him to go home, or at least get off his bed, but the thought died, disappearing into the ether.

There were fresh tear streaks on Sirius’ face. Was he in the habit of crying in his sleep, or was it something recent? Surely it wasn’t for Severus. He imagined Sirius rarely if ever allowed people to see him like this. This time was a fluke. It sort of made his stomach hurt to think they were similar in that way. Or maybe he just hadn’t eaten enough. Still being half asleep and not trusting himself to be able to do any magic otherwise, he reached for his wand to turn off the lights. He wasn’t going to give Sirius the embarrassment of knowing he saw. It was probably going to be mortifying enough for him to find out whose bed he fell asleep in.

“Sirius.” He said quietly. It wasn’t nearly enough to wake him. He sighed, nudging his shoulder and speaking a little more firmly. “Black.”

Finally a grumble. Sirius held his head as he awoke, taking a moment before realizing where he was. Even in the dark, Severus saw him freeze up. He braced for the disgust, but it never came. Sirius did turn away, but he saw it was to hide himself drying his eyes. If Sirius thought he was being inconspicuous, he wasn’t.

“Damn, sorry. I’m definitely not the one you want in your bed.” Sirius went to sit up, but quickly laid back down, curling up with a whiny groan. “Nhh, that didn’t feel good. I’m not sure I can Apparate like this. If you don’t want me in here, I can try to move to the other room…”

“I rather you not vomit on my floor. I’ll just-” Severus was going to offer to sleep in a different room himself, just letting Sirius borrow his bed for the night, but ended up having the same reaction once he tried to get up. Several expletives ran through his mind. “Ugh, just… stay on your side.” He summoned an extra blanket so that they didn’t have to be under the same one, accidentally hitting Sirius in the face with it.

“Feeling a little rough too, huh?” Sirius managed a weak laugh, wrapping himself up in the blanket.

“Not as bad as you if you’re willing to sleep in my bed.” Severus grumbled. “Just go back to sleep. Sorry for waking you.”

“It’s alright.” Sirius whispered.

“My head is killing me.” Sirius groaned, leaning his forehead on James’ shoulder, who was trying to pour himself some tea.

“It’s what you get for drinking too much.”

“Ugh, no need to tell me.”

“So do you remember yesterday, or did you actually black out?” James now got a glass of water for Sirius to drink.

“Nah, I remember. Some minor details are fuzzy, but that’s it. It was fun. I’d recommend getting drunk with Severus.” He laughed tiredly. “We should all have a big Christmas party with a lot of wine. And champagne.”

“As disturbing as it is to hear that Severus is apparently a good drinking buddy, a Christmas party actually sounds like a nice idea. Still a long way’s off though.”

“Of course it’s a good idea! We could have it here, and Remus and Reggie and Peter and Severus will be here. And Lily too and you can _finally_ ask her. Like… bloody hell mate.”

“I’ll ask her when I ask her!” James turned red as Sirius laughed.

“Though, on a similar topic…” Sirius hung on him. He had always been very tactile like this, and James thought Severus should feel lucky if he hadn’t reached that point in their friendship yet. James was very used to it, though. “He really loves Reggie, doesn’t he? Severus.”

“Well, they’re best fr-” James tried to twist it, but Sirius wouldn’t have it.

“No, I mean he has feelings for him. That’s why they’ve been awkward.”

“Did Severus actually tell you this?”

“He didn’t. I was able to make inferences. I didn’t mention it to him.”

“What, since Regulus rejected him, are you going to snatch him up instead?” James smirked.

“What, no! I just wanted to know that I was right.”

“So where did you sleep?” His tone sounded too nefarious for Sirius’ liking. Lucky for James though, Sirius was really obvious when he was trying to concoct a lie. No Legilimency required. “Ah, so you slept in his bed!”

“... _So_?”

“Did he take the sofa then?” He knew the answer by Sirius’ lack of answer. James looked far too amused. He lowered his voice and got close to Sirius’ ear, driving home the point. “You slept in Severus Snape’s bed.”

“I can’t believe we’re in a universe where you’ve said that.” But it made complete sense to him at the time. Besides, they both felt too awful to move. He didn’t want to admit it to James, but part of him dreaded moving out. He was afraid of being completely alone. And Severus— there was a deep ache in his heart— it was a day they both needed the company.


	4. Trust Between People (In Which Dumbledore Makes a Proposal)

“Doing alright there, Sirius?” Asked Remus sleepily. He was curled up on his bed barely after sunrise. Even as a dog, Sirius looked listless. He snorted, then turned back into a human.

“You’re asking if  _ I’m _ alright? You have this backwards, Moony.” He laughed. “I’m always alright.”

“I know that’s not true.”

Sirius ignored this and dug around in the bag he brought, placing items one by one on the nightstand.

“You have gifts. A letter and a bunch of sweets from Reggie. Mostly chocolate, it seems, since he obviously knows your taste very well.” Remus knew exactly what Sirius  _ meant _ , but still chuckled at the unintended double meaning. Sirius sighed exaggeratedly and muttered under his breath before continuing, “Then potions from Severus, since you no longer have the services of Madame Pomfrey.”

Remus tried to sit up, wincing in the process.

“I think I’ll go for one of those potions already please.”

“Sure.” Sirius handed him one. Remus hated how these tasted, but they really were effective in helping the pain. He emotionally prepared himself before taking a drink.

“Huh. Not as bad as Pomfrey’s. Still absolutely ghastly, but not quite  _ as _ ghastly.” It was rather fast acting too, as he started to feel the pain ease. “It’s a good thing for her that he's not trying for  _ her _ job.”

“It’s what the sweets are for, I suppose. Just feel better quickly, we’re going up there this week.” Sirius grinned. “It’s been ages since I’ve had good butterbeer.”

“That’s what you’re excited about?” Remus gave a light laugh.

“Of course! I know you just want to see Regulus.”

“I miss him a lot.”

“Me too.”

— 

_ I need somewhere to hide _ , Regulus thought while pacing the seventh floor corridor. He wasn’t in any sort of trouble, but everything was just too overwhelming. The common room, his dorm, the library, everything was just too full, and the Map was tucked away in his trunk. He just felt like he needed somewhere to  _ hide _ for a while until his mind just wasn’t so full. 

Just then, a door appeared which he had never seen before. He nearly shouted. What… actually just happened? He examined it hesitantly. Any bit of common sense said NOT to open a mysterious door that just showed up out of absolute nowhere. Nevertheless, he turned the handle and opened it. He took in a sharp breath as he walked into a vast room containing piles and piles of accumulated things. Quickly, he shut the door behind him and walked further in. There were objects from a multitude of decades it seemed and many, Regulus noted, that were probably against school rules though not particularly dark. Items from joke shops and the like. Much of it was haphazardly thrown into a pile, as if someone was trying to swiftly get rid of it. He realized indeed, that was probably exactly the case. A room that showed up when you needed to hide something. Then why did it show up for him? Ah. It may have gotten the ‘hide’ part of his thoughts and assumed he needed to hide a thing, not himself. Well, maybe that was still exactly how it was supposed to work. Maybe. He would have to experiment with this newfound discovery.

— 

Regulus bounced his knee as he waited. He didn’t know why he was asked to wait in the staff room, his only company at the moment being Professors Dumbledore and McGonagall. He knew Remus and the rest of them were coming today, but he didn’t understand the location or why he was there too. Nevertheless, he stopped fretting once the door opened and he heard the voices of James and Sirius. He stood up as they walked in, followed by Remus, Lily, Peter, and to slight surprise, Severus. Sirius waved at Regulus, who then found himself smiling. He then made eye contact with Remus, and before he knew it, ran over and tightly embraced him. 

“Hey.” Said Remus, holding him close and placing a light kiss on his temple. Clearly, Regulus didn’t mind showing affection in present company. James looked at them fondly, and held Lily’s hand, interlocking their fingers. She gave his hand a light squeeze, smiling to herself. Out of curiosity, Sirius glanced to Severus to gauge his reaction to Regulus, but the man was unreadable. Peter was plain nervous to be there, feeling quite aware that he was absolutely surrounded by sheer talent.

Dumbledore looked at the group with immense pride.

“Thank you all for joining me today.” He said, now grabbing their attention. “I’m sure you’re all wondering why I’ve brought you here. Please, sit.” He motioned to the large discussion table. They did, ready to hang onto his every word. “Now, you’re obviously all aware of the growing threat our world faces. Sitting before me is a group of substantial skill, made up of individuals who have expressed a desire to work against this threat, fighting for justice. Some, perhaps, from unexpected places.” He briefly glanced at Regulus and Severus. “The world is turning increasingly against each other. Even among members of the Ministry, trust between people is growing more fragile. What I am proposing is to put together a talented group of people who are dedicated to the cause, loyal to each other.”

As they listened, they were amazed at what Dumbledore was proposing. A secret order to fight against Voldemort and his Death Eaters. They were informed that others have been asked as well, largely Aurors he found to be most certainly trustworthy. That just made them feel more honored to be asked, especially Regulus, who would be the youngest of the entire order. To think he was considered skilled enough to work among Ministry Aurors. Perhaps there would be some sort of hierarchy and the more experienced witches and wizards would get the most risky tasks. Still, he was willing to help in the ways that he could. And it seemed he wasn’t the only one who thought that way. Nevertheless, Dumbledore was giving them all time to really think about it, and they would all meet up again in a few weeks.

They had the whole weekend there, everyone except Regulus staying in Hogsmeade, so they decided to split up for a while that afternoon. Remus figured part of it was so that he and Regulus could have some time to themselves.

“Before you leave, Severus, may I have a word?” Asked Dumbledore as they began to leave. Severus took in a sharp breath.

“Of course.”

“Hey, I’m going to wait for him out here if you wanted to go do your own thing.” Said Sirius to James and Lily once they were back out in the corridor. “You can wait with me if you want Peter, unless you rather go with them for now.”

“Oh, sure.” Lily said in mild surprise. “That’s rather nice of you.”

Sirius shrugged.

“Yeah, I’ll stay with you.” Peter replied, really not wanting to third wheel.

“So, where did you want to go?” James asked Lily.

“Hmm, I think a walk down by the lake would be nice.”

" Sounds perfect! Meet us down there after if you want.” 

— 

“I have something I need to show you.” Regulus whispered excitedly in Remus’ ear, sending a shiver down his spine.

“Do you?” Remus replied breathlessly.

“Yes. You lot missed something when creating the Map.”

Remus was taken out of the forming daydream about the various things Regulus could show him.

“Wait  _ what _ ? What do you mean we  _ missed _ something? We absolutely scoured the castle.”

“Come on.” Regulus pulled him by the hand, leading him to the seventh floor until they got to the tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy.

“Er, what’s supposed to be here?”

“Just wait.” Regulus paced across the wall opposite, focusing his thoughts as clearly as he could. He had figured out quite quickly one needed to think on what they’re looking for three times consistently and the door was sure to appear.

“Bloody hell.” Remus whispered as the door did indeed appear. “What  _ is _ this?”

“I don’t know what it’s supposed to be called, but it appears when someone is in need of something. You just need to focus on it. Let’s go.” Regulus opened the door, motioning Remus to follow.

“Woah.” Remus looked at the vastness of the room in amazement. Regulus had made it turn into the room where he first discovered it. “What is all this?”

“It’s a Room of Hidden Things. I imagine it’s shown up for people who need to hide something quickly… I discovered it by accident. I wasn’t in a hurry or anything, so I had time to figure out how it worked. I told it to give me this room, but it can turn into almost anything. It can’t do certain things though, like create food, but mostly will provide you with whatever you need.”

“This is brilliant. No wonder we didn’t find it, it’s so… obscure.”

“I made it turn into a private bath once. It was amazing. Even better than the prefects’ bath.”

Remus’ cheeks burned at the thought.

“Oh, don’t start putting images like that in my mind.” Remus pulled Regulus by the trim of his cloak and kissed him. Regulus deepened the kiss, slipping in his tongue as he snaked his fingers through Remus’ hair.

“I missed you so much, Remus.” He said eventually, once he needed to breathe.

“I missed you too.” They held each other closely, quiet for a minute, taking in one another’s presence. “Hey, let’s look at what kinds of things are in here.”

“So many things!” Regulus pulled away. “I haven’t had a chance to look at it all. I mean, that would probably take forever. There are thousands of books alone, it’s impossible to look through all of them. And some things, I refuse to touch. There’s a chest full of gems but I don’t trust it to not be cursed or something.”

“That’s… probably a good call.”

The two started exploring the different piles, trying to come up with stories of how the objects came to be left there. Aside from the books, there was damaged furniture, abandoned cloaks, broomsticks, musical instruments, fanged frisbees, a rather high number of medieval weaponry, strange objects they couldn’t even identify.

“Dumbledore’s proposal… we’re going to accept, right?” Regulus asked, examining what appeared to him to be a piece of dragon eggshell. Remus took notice of the use of the word ‘we’.

“Of course. It’s what we’ve been training for, right?”

“Yes. Just… to think he’s willing to recruit us. Among actual professionals.”

“I think a large part of it is that he trusts all of us.” Remus cringed at a leaking bottle of some decades-old potion.

“He  _ was _ heavy-handed on that point.”

“Hm, this was probably rather pretty once.” Said Remus, holding up an old tiara. There was a sapphire in the middle and there were words engraved, but the silver was too tarnished to be able to read it. “What a shame.”

“Isn’t there something about werewolves and silver?”

“That’s a myth.” Remus laughed. “Though you do use a mix of powdered silver and dittany to help close a werewolf bite.”

“Ah, right.” Regulus reached for the tiara, but once he held it he got a strange, sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach.

“I think a crown would look nice on you.” Remus mused.

“Not this one, though. It gives me a creepy feeling.” Regulus put it back on the pile, setting it on the head of an old bust. He tried to shake off the feeling and smiled at Remus. “I have an idea.”

“Yes?”

“Let’s leave and make the room change.” He said, putting a hand on Remus’ chest. “We can make it give us a nice, big bed.”

“ _ Yes please _ .”

— 

“What are your thoughts on this, Peter?” Sirius asked as they sat across from the meeting room door.

Peter wasn’t really sure what to think of all this. This is exactly the sort of chance his friends had been wanting. It suited them. However, he didn’t think he was quite as cut out for it. He was always trailing behind them, he knew that. Often he thought he should just leave it to them and not get involved. They could handle themselves— he didn’t stand a chance and the thought terrified him. Sometimes he even thought it wasn’t worth the effort and they should just let things be. It would be so much easier to just work with the side that was winning. But at the same time, he considered Regulus and Severus. They were so close to becoming Death Eaters, he was told. But they changed their minds, so obviously there was something to being on the side of Dumbledore, right? He just didn’t know what to do.

“I’m really not sure.” He finally answered.

“That’s okay.” Said Sirius. “It’s okay to not involve yourself. It’s a big risk. Don’t feel pressured because of us, alright?”

“I’ll… keep it in mind, thank you.” He nodded.

Then, the door opened and the two scrambled up, Sirius looking in anticipation as Severus walked into the corridor.

“So what was that about?” Sirius asked.

“You waited for me?” Frankly, Severus wasn’t expecting that.

“Yeah? So what happened?”

He smiled so slightly.

“I got it. I’ll be studying under both Sprout and Slughorn a few days a week.”

“That’s great!” Sirius excitedly hugged him, causing the other to freeze in surprise, eyes widened. Peter watched in vague horror.

“Was that necessary?” He was still tense. However, he found it rather… comforting.

“Since when is anything I do necessary?” Sirius laughed, but really thought it had felt nice to do so. “Anyway, James and Lily are down at the lake if you want to catch up with them. I have no idea where Remus and Reggie are, but I probably don’t want to know.”

“Me neither.”

Feeling happier than he had in ages, Severus followed Sirius around much of the afternoon.   
  


— 

Remus and Regulus were cuddled together, legs interlocked. Their robes and blankets were forgotten on the floor.

“This really is an amazing room you found.” Remus said, still a bit out of breath. Regulus laughed, burying his face in the crook of the other’s neck.

“Think they’re wondering where we are yet?”

“I really don’t care right now. They can wait, honestly.”

“Oh, you make me feel so important.” Regulus chuckled, placing little kisses along Remus’ jawline.

“You are.”

“Not any more than you.” Regulus smirked mischievously, and laid on top of him. Remus gasped, leaning his head further into the pillow. “You’re so damn attractive.”

“I can lay in bed with you all day.”

“We can do that.” 

Remus relaxed contentedly as Regulus played with his hair. Suddenly, Regulus  _ giggled _ .

" What?”

“Er, Remus. Did you know you have a grey hair?”

“Merlin, do I?” Remus sighed. “Must be stress I suppose.”

“It’s alright.” Regulus kissed him. “You’re still perfect and I love you.”

— 

As the six walked back to Hogsmeade in the evening, Severus caught Sirius’ eye and motioned for him to hang back to walk a bit behind the other four.

“What is it?” Sirius asked quietly. Severus sighed.

“I’ve been meaning to mention something.”

“Yeah?” Sirius suddenly felt a little nervous seeing the other’s discomfort.

“I wanted to tell you, I saw…” He hesitated. “That day you apologized to me, I briefly caught a glimpse of your mind. It… it was completely unintentional and I’m sorry it happened. Usually I have more control, but… ”

“Oh.” Sirius felt oddly exposed. He knew Severus had a particular gift with Legilimency, but Sirius never had evidence that he actually used it on them until now. But if he would lose control of it at any point, it would be then. Sirius believed him that it was accidental. “I guess you saw something I haven’t told anyone, if you’re telling me about it.”

“I saw, I felt your guilt. Your apology seemed to come out of nowhere, but it didn’t. You had been carrying your guilt with you for a while and you didn’t know how to handle it, so you converted it to anger. You didn’t want to, but we still fought. But something changed. I don’t know. But I do know you hardly slept that night before you spoke with me.”

Sirius breathed deeply. He got that much?

“...Yeah. That’s pretty much how it was.”

Severus sort of hoped Sirius would explain further, but apparently that wasn’t going to happen without being direct.

“What changed your mind?”

“I… I saw how upset you were. Er, when you came upstairs. Like, I knew it was something bad. And well, it seemed a little distasteful to act as I normally did when you were clearly at such a low. You needed the opposite of that. If there was ever a moment for me to make that leap like everyone else already had, it was then. Better late than never. And hey,” Sirius smirked, “turns out you’re not actually bad company.”

Sirius nudged him playfully. Severus smirked back.

“It’s good to know you actually do have a heart.”

“Of course I do! I know I’m not as good with emotional things as Remus, or even James. But yeah…”

“Hey, Sev and Sirius are kind of freaking me out.” Whispered Lily, peeking back at them.

“Oh, are they actually looking like they’re friends?” James answered.

“Yes. I thought you had been exaggerating.”

“Bizarre, isn’t it?”

“Very. Though it’s a welcome improvement.”

“Sirius, I think you should look into learning some Occlumency.”

“What, so you can’t see into my head again?”

“Well, yes.” Severus shrugged. “It’s not really about me, I’m not trying to figure out your deepest secrets or anything. But you’re a rather easy person to read, and if we’ll be doing this work, it would be a good idea for you to protect yourself in that way. Frankly, all of us should, but I’m particularly…” the words came with difficulty, “concerned about you. Since you think so loudly, for lack of a better term. Someone with less scruples than I could take advantage of you.”

— 

As he lay in bed, Severus thought of how much he actually enjoyed the day. At first he was confused because it wasn’t as though he had never spent time with this particular group of people. His mind sometimes wandered to their London day trip. That had been… pleasant, albeit surreal. James really started to prove he meant his apology and his determination to set things right. He didn’t have much thought to Peter; he was as much a little shadow as Severus assumed. Even others in Gryffindor didn’t seem to respect him as much as they did the other three. Sirius— his mind lingered for a moment— Sirius had even made an effort that day to not get under his skin. Just for that day until, well. But Severus had only been there for Regulus. Remus knew that and was regardless exceptionally friendly despite the discomfort he surely knew Severus felt. Today had been so similar, even with the addition of Lily being there. So what was the dif- his lips parted as he realized. Seeing Regulus together with Remus… the bitterness he previously felt was fading. He recognized there was more to it. James was undeniably his friend, and somehow, so was Sirius. He was coming back to the castle, even if part-time. Of course he was glad of all those things. But the lack of anger and sadness when he looked at Regulus and Remus, that was really it, wasn’t it? He felt so light.

— 

The next day, Remus and Regulus sat on the bench far past the Hog’s Head where they had previously met for Valentine’s Day. Instead of trudging through snow this time, they were able to enjoy the crunch of the leaves in the coolness of October.

“I talked to Phineas Nigellus recently.” Regulus informed.

“Oh? On purpose or…?”

He shook his head.

“No. I was talking to Dumbledore in his office.”

“How did it go?” Remus asked nervously.

“He told me my father regrets what happened.” Regulus fidgeted.

“How do you feel about that? Do you believe him?”

“I don’t know how I feel.” He sighed. “I think I believe him though. It’s a strange thing for him to say otherwise. Besides, it doesn’t mean he regrets the rest of it. He just didn’t like what Bellatrix did. I’m sure he still agrees I’m not their son anymore.”

Remus wrapped an arm around him, pulling him closer.

“I received a note from my uncle Alphard the other day.” Regulus continued. “He sent gold to my vault like he did for Sirius.”

“Right, you opened your own, didn’t you? That’s wonderful.” Remus kissed his cheek. “As much as he gave Sirius?”

“Maybe a little bit more.” He answered with a small smile. “I don’t want Sirius to know that though, since I think he’d get annoyed. That I got more than him. I’m happy I can help with any expenses though, since I’ll be living with him.”

“You’ll be comfortable there. I helped him move his things from James’ house, and it’s rather cozy. You’ll like it, I think. It’s in a wizarding community, but it’s close to the muggle area. He figured a muggle flat would be too much culture shock for you.” Remus chuckled.

“He’s… not wrong. Small steps. Dunno why he would think it’s a good idea to live outside of a wizarding neighborhood if he could help it anyway. You can’t buy chocolate frogs in a muggle shop.”

Remus fully laughed now. He had been slightly perturbed for a moment, not knowing where Regulus was going with his point, but was relieved to know the cause of the concern. He should have known by now it wasn’t about the presence of muggles, it was the lack of access to the magical that would have concerned Regulus. Not just sweets. He could understand that.

“What is it?” Remus asked as Regulus suddenly pouted.

“I left my chocolate frog card collection at Grimmauld Place. It was getting so impressive. Rest in peace.”

“Oh, that’s all?” Remus grinned amusedly. “Not to minimize your great achievement.”

“Oh shut it.” Regulus joked, nudging him. “Hmm, I still need to get something for Sirius’ birthday.”

“Right, it’s just in a few weeks, isn’t it? I feel as though time sped up since summer.”

“I don’t know why fall term always feels faster. In any case, it’s been so long since I’ve given him any sort of gift, I don’t know what he would like nowadays.”

“How about we go back into the village and look around?” Remus offered. 

“That might be fun. There’s still a couple hours until I have to go back. Oh yeah, and is it just me, or has Severus been following around Sirius a lot? And they haven’t fought once this whole time.”

“We told you they were getting along. Apparently they had some kind of breakthrough and have been talking a lot. I see it the other way though— Sirius following Severus around all excited like when he’s Padfoot. But now that you mention it yes, today Severus was definitely sticking close to him.”

“Maybe I should ask Severus what to get my brother.” Regulus laughed.


	5. Utterly Reckless (In Which There's Growth on Life and Magic)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always find it interesting to see what alternate Patronus people give Severus, and it was fun to think about.
> 
> Anyway, I've been feeling kind of discouraged and was almost too anxious to post today. We're just about halfway through what I have written so far and I'm nearly done with a chapter I really loved writing and put a lot into, but I haven't touched it in a couple weeks since I just suddenly got so insecure and anxious :( I'm trying to push past it and continue, but I may have have to put tiny bit more distance between uploads so I don't catch up so fast since I got behind.

Regulus was in the library, sitting alone at a table as he worked on a Charms essay. It wasn’t particularly difficult and he had some extra time, so he thought he would get a head start on it. The late afternoon was nice and quiet too, as most students were in the common rooms or out in the courtyards. After a while, however, a student walked up to him, looking rather shy.

“Er, excuse me. Regulus Black, right?” The boy said, though it was clear he already knew that. Regulus recognized him as being a Slytherin fifth year, having seen him around the common room with a few friends, probably his roommates. He also remembered him from the Quidditch tryouts. The boy tried out for Keeper, but just barely didn’t make it on. He wasn’t a bad player, Regulus thought at the time, but in his opinion was trying out for the wrong position.

“Yes. Did you need help with anything?” He asked pleasantly, putting on his polite, Head Boy voice. He motioned to one of the empty chairs. “Shafiq, am I right?”

The boy nodded and sat down across from Regulus. He looked terribly nervous.

“Is there a first name to go with that? If that’s alright with you.” Regulus recognized the Shafiq family as being part of the Sacred Twenty-Eight. He hoped any seventh years didn’t put him up to anything.

“Akram.”

“What can I do for you, Akram?”

“Is it all true what they say about you? That you were going to follow the- the Dark Lord as a Death Eater, but then you changed your mind? And you were disowned by your family for being a blood traitor?”

Regulus wanted to get angry, but he realized that there didn’t seem to be any malice or ridicule coming from the boy’s words. Just curiosity and awkwardness.

“It’s true, mostly.” He went on as Akram lifted his head in surprise. “I had been hesitant to follow… He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named long before, but I felt pressured to anyway. So I was going to regardless of my hesitancy. But then later I realized, almost too late, that I no longer believed anything he may want you to believe. And that, well,” he gave an irony-laced smile, “that won’t do if you’re a member of The Ancient and Most Noble House of Black. So yes, I imagine my name is burnt off the family tapestry. Does this satisfy your curiosity then?”

Akram was quiet for a moment as he let the thoughts mull over in his head.

“What… made you realize it was all wrong?” He said finally. Slowly, understanding spread over Regulus’ face. He smiled.

“Getting out of the pureblood bubble. We’re both Slytherin purebloods, and there’s nothing wrong with that, but if those are the only people you talk to… it’s always the same thing over and over again. The world is so much bigger, and you’ll never know if you stay in your dorm all the time. Talk to people in different Houses, of different blood status. Get to know what they’re actually like. You’ll figure out quickly the world isn’t how the ‘ _ Dark Lord’ _ says it is.” Regulus didn’t get a response, so he pushed a little further. “Is there someone pressuring you?”

“... Yeah.” The boy said in just above a whisper.

“Your parents, or?”

“No. It’s mostly classmates. Following students from your year and the one ahead of you. So many of them joined, I know, and your classmates telling us younger years their plans as well. They say… they say not to be like you and bring shame to the wizarding community.” Akram’s voice got smaller. “But I don’t think…”

Regulus nodded. He wasn’t surprised he was talked about like that, but it wasn’t important. The important thing was that this young boy was looking for a way out. One more possible person not falling to the Dark.

“Would… your parents hurt you otherwise?”

“No!” Akram’s eyes widened. “I don’t think so, at least. They’ve never. But you…”

“My parents have never been particularly kind.” Regulus explained. “Some of my family is, well, a special kind of crazy. It was pretty expected. I couldn’t stay there. I don’t know what your parents are like. Maybe they’ll be willing to listen to you. But you have to be the judge of that. If it’s only other Slytherins, don’t bend to them.”

“I-I can try. Test the waters, I guess. I’ll try to do what you said, and see what happens.”

“I’m glad to hear it. If any other students give you trouble, just let me know. “ Regulus gave a sly smile. “I’m sure I can find things to deduct points from them for.” Fair indeed.

“You  _ wouldn’t _ .” Akram tried suppressing a smile.

“Though I suppose you deserve something. How about ten points to Slytherin for having the bravery to come talk to me.”

“Thank you.” He smiled fully now.

“Anytime. By the way, it’s a shame you didn’t get on the team. You’re a good flyer.”

“Oh. You remember me? I obviously wasn’t good enough though.”

“Try again next year. I think you’d be better suited to Seeker. Try to take my place once I leave, yeah? I rather it not be someone like Burke.” Regulus scrunched his nose in distaste. He bet Burke was one of the more zealous of the years under him. A nasty bit of work.

“Do you really think so? But I don’t think you’d have to worry, you absolutely destroyed him at the tryouts.” Akram laughed. “Hopefully it was humiliating enough to where he won’t try again.”

“I try my best.” Regulus grinned.

“So, er, if they’re calling you a blood traitor, does that mean you know a lot of half-bloods and muggleborns?” His tone was much more light now.

“That’s right. You know the Head Girl from last year? She’s muggleborn and really talented. I’ve learned she’s exceptionally good with Potions, comparable to my best friend Severus, who’s a half-blood and always got perfect marks in the subject. She’s also very good at Charms. My boyfriend is half-blood” he here got a mildly startled eyebrow raise “and he’s also very skilled. He’s wonderful at defensive magic, but can also really throw around a good jinx or two. And you know, there’s more half-bloods in Slytherin than you probably think. They just don’t want others to know.”

“I suppose that makes sense.” Akram’s mind wandered to a certain Hufflepuff girl and his heart fluttered. He was pretty sure she was muggleborn. Maybe he would actually work up the courage to talk to her. “Thank you again for your time. I’ll leave you to your essay.”

“No problem. I truly hope everything works out for you. I’ll be around.”

“Thanks. You know,” he added before turning to leave, “you’re actually kind of cool.”

Regulus sat there, quill on the desk as he was left alone, contemplating the fact that he was just called  _ cool. _ More importantly, he realized that a life may have just been saved. He held the edge of the desk as if reality would spin away otherwise, feeling dumbstruck.

— 

“Come in, Sirius.” Came the voice from inside the house. Sirius walked in, finding Severus working on something intently. “You’re early.”

“Yeah, sorry. I guess you’re busy.”

“It’s alright, I'll be done in just a few minutes.”

Sirius went over to watch as the other concentrated very deeply on what he was writing, sitting in an extra chair. Looked like Sprout work. He noted that Severus recently washed, as he realized his hair was not oily as it often was, but just a little bit damp. He caught a vague scent of… what was that? Lavender? Severus stopped for just a moment to brush the hair out of his face, tucking it behind his ear. Now that Sirius thought about it, Severus had been looking well, aside from the stress. Not that he was oblivious to it, he just previously tried not to think about it. But nowadays, it was hard not to. Over the years, he sort of… grew into himself he supposed. Sirius was almost tempted to compare him to a disproportionate puppy who finally grew into his ears. He was still small and thin, sure, but he was no longer that awkward, skinny boy. His nose was still a bit larger than average, but it wasn’t detractin- distracting. Distracting. Sirius wasn’t going to think detracting from the rest of his face, which wasn’t all that bad at all. Distinctive, in fact. No, he wasn’t going to think that. Severus was wearing muggle clothes today. Still dark as usual, but the sleeves of his charcoal button-up were rolled, showing his forearms. Sirius could also see his collar bones peeking from the collar of the shirt.  _ That _ was distracting. That made him feel some sort of way. At that moment, Sirius was so grateful Severus was too focused to even think about seeing his thoughts.

“It is really so interesting watching me work?” Asked Severus eventually. He did not look at him, but was very aware of the fact he was being stared at.

“Yeah.” He received a little huff in return. “Whatever soap you use smells nice.”

Severus stopped writing.

“Thanks?”

“So, how come your hair is usually so oily, when clearly you bathe regularly. You always smell good.” Sirius regretted saying the last bit, but it didn’t seem to get a reaction. What he didn’t know was how flustered Severus actually felt at the statement. Not that he was going to show it. After all, he couldn’t let it show how a compliment from Sirius made him feel. Certainly not.

“Always so blunt. Doesn’t matter, it gets that way quickly even if I wash it every day. I never thought it was worth the effort to fight with it. Don’t know why you care.”

“I was just curious.” Sirius shrugged. Finally, Severus closed the book he had open and turned around to look at him with his fervent dark eyes.

“I suppose I won’t be able to get any more of this done right now. We should start then.”

“Alright.”

“I take it you already can create a corporeal Patronus?”

“Of course!” Sirius said proudly. “What do you take me for?”

“I don’t know what you’re trying to imply. Obviously I know you’re a skilled wizard. I just said I assumed you could.”

“Oh. I guess I thought you were being snarky.”

“No?” Severus said as though he was always sincere toward Sirius.

“You really are in a weird mood if you’re being earnest with me.”

“Go practice with James then if it bothers you.” He stood from his desk, pushing the chair in.

“No, it’s fine. Besides, we sort of already are practicing with him.” 

Dumbledore introduced them to a new way of using a Patronus during their most recent Order meeting. The Headmaster found they could be used to communicate from a distance and encouraged them all to learn how to do it.

Severus wasn’t surprised when he saw Sirius produce a silvery dog, similar to his animagus form. He watched as he relayed a message to the figure in the way Dumbledore had shown them, then the silver dog started running off and disappeared. Now it was just a waiting game.

They considered each other for a moment, making eye contact.

“You’ve been practicing Occlumency like I recommended.” Said Severus.

“Figured you would try to test me.” Sirius chuckled. “You really didn’t get anything?”

“Nothing. Well done.”

Sirius felt warm at the praise.

“Hey we should-” But he was interrupted by the appearance of a silver stag.

“Nice one!” Came the voice of James. “Your message came through clearly. And hello Severus, I hope you’re well.” The stag then left once it finished its message.

“That went perfectly! Your turn then. I’ve been wondering what your Patronus is.”

“Probably as unimaginative as yours being a dog.” Many spells Severus found to be easy enough to perform wordlessly if not wandlessly, but the Patronus Charm was not one of them. However, it wasn’t too challenging otherwise, and soon a winged creature formed from the silvery mist.

“A raven makes sense.”

“It’s a crow. But I realize they’re similar.”

“Oh.” Sirius felt just a little embarrassed. He was never able to tell the difference. Padfoot couldn’t tell the difference between a lot of birds— he just liked to chase and bark at them. “I guess that makes sense too.”

Severus relayed the message for the crow to give to James, telling him hello and thank you for the apple tart he had sent him.

“What were you saying just then?” Severus asked.

“What?”

“Before James’ stag showed up.”

“Oh yeah.” Sirius hoped Severus brushed it off. “Just saying we should go out.”

“Pardon? What do you mean  _ go out _ ?”

“You know, like go to Diagon Alley or go to a pub or something like that. Get out and take a break from everything.”

“I see. For a moment I got concerned that you finally fell for my good looks and charming personality.” Severus deadpanned.

“Ah,  _ there’s _ the snark I was missing.”

“You’re not just trying to get me drunk again, are you?”

“Of course not!” Sirius dramatically put a hand on his chest, looking his best fake-offended. “How dare you accuse me of such things!” He meant to say all of it as a joke, but as he then said something he really meant, just a touch of that sincerity leaked through. “I just like spending time with you.”

Severus didn’t quite know what to make of it. This was the second time he recalled Sirius stating this sentiment of enjoying his company. What baffled him the most was that he felt as though Sirius meant it. Even more so now that it was repeated. It was hard to wrap his head around the idea. But the important question was, did he feel the same?

“I… like the idea of going to Diagon Alley. I’ve been interested to try that bakery.”

Yes he did. Bloody hell, he very much did feel the same. The fact he wanted to be in the company of Sirius Black of all people disconcerted him. He tried to think about the scenario if it was James, and it didn’t seem strange at all. They were friends. But he and Sirius were friends now too, so why did it throw him off so much? It almost felt like…  _ Merlin _ , no.

“Ha, I did notice you have a huge sweet tooth.” Sirius grinned. “I’ll get something for you. Y’know, in return for the potions instruction you’re supposed to give me. And I guess for putting up with me in general.”

“I’ll hold you to that offer. But don’t underestimate my taste for fine things.” The words came out more coquettish than intended. Thankfully, as if to distract him from his embarrassment, another Patronus showed up in the room. It was immediately obvious that it was Remus.

“Hello Severus.” Said the silver wolf. “I thought I would try and see if this works from this distance, as I’m at home. We should meet soon outside of the Order meetings. I’d like to go over your research. I hope things are well.”

“He sent that from quite further away than the distance between here and James.” Severus honestly thought it was a bit impressive.

“Remus was always really good at that charm. He was the first of all of us to make one, both corporeal and non-corporeal. Of course, he hated it once he found out what his was. Not unexpected, but still unhappy. But yeah, I wouldn’t be surprised if he could send one all the way to Orkney.”

“He’s strong in defensive spells. But surprisingly good at hexes, too.”

“You haven’t been teaching him  _ hexes _ ?” Sirius went a little more stern.

“He  _ asked _ . They’re useful. Basic defense like Expelliarmus is well and good, but sometimes you need something more effective. I rather not die due to having a moment of unnecessary mercy.”

Sirius carefully regarded those words. Perhaps there was truth in it. If someone went and killed a dozen people, would it even be in him to show that person any mercy? Would that kind of person deserve mercy? Maybe a kinder person would say yes. But he disagreed.

“Right. Let’s… carry on then. You don’t suppose Regulus will be able to send one all the way here?”

“I’m not sure.” Severus hesitated. “He was having trouble with the charm just a bit before summer. It may take him a while to- for him to send one farther distances.” He wasn’t sure if Regulus was able to make a corporeal Patronus yet.

“Oh. Well, I’m sure he’ll get it.”

— 

Perhaps it was worth one more shot for the day. Regulus had been practicing the Patronus for a few days now, but he never got any response back, making him figure it wasn’t getting to any of his intended recipients. It was times like this he wished he wasn’t so far away from everyone. No, that was okay, he thought. Ideally, distance over the UK shouldn’t be an issue. They should be able to contact each other whether they were at Hogwarts or in Cornwall. 

-

“Yes, it always takes more to have an affect on me.” Remus was explaining. “The extra strength pain-relieving potions Madam Pomfrey would give me were basically like normal ones. And I’d take two doses sometimes.”

“I see.” Severus propped up his head with his elbow against the desk, curled fingers against his lips pensively as he tapped his notes with his other hand. It was exceptionally useful actually having Remus there to give his own accounts on his lycanthropy, but it also made it clear just how many different factors have to be taken into account for the potion to even be feasible. 

“Should we take a break now?” Remus offered. Severus sighed.

“I suppose so.” He got up from his chair and walked over to the table, peeking at the package of whatever Remus had brought for them to eat. “I do appreciate you giving me your time. I know you have been looking for work as well. You could be doing that today.”

“I know. But it’s really no problem. I’m just as invested in this as you are. Go ahead.” Remus smiled, making himself comfortable on the sofa. Severus opened the covering to find Welsh cakes. He grabbed one and joined the other. He took a bite, raising his eyebrows in surprised approval.

“It’s good. Did you make them?”

“Oh, yes. Thank you.” Remus fidgeted bashfully. Severus huffed in amusement.

“How is it that you’re good at baking and such, yet you’re hopeless at potion making?”

“Dunno.” Remus laughed. He took one of the little cakes for himself and leaned back, relaxing. “It’s looking nice, you know. The house. I can tell you’ve worked on it since I was first here.”

“Yes. Thank you for saying so.”

Remus stared at the vase of red chrysanthemums sitting on the table. He saw that Severus noticed and had a sudden shy air about him. He smirked playfully. 

“Those from someone?”

“The flowers I had previously had started to wither, so Sirius decided to conjure those.” Severus clearly tried to look annoyed but couldn’t actually. “Of course he would choose something flashy.”

Before Remus could comment on what he thought to be an oddly romantic gesture, a Patronus appeared before them in the form of a lion.

“Ah. He did it.” Remus grinned, knowing full well what Regulus’ Patronus was by now. Severus was about to ask who was “he” in this scenario, but soon found out once it spoke.

“Hello, Sev, did I make it this time?” Regulus’ voice asked. “Please let me know. I will also try Remus, I’m still testing the range.”

“His Patronus is a lion?” Severus said, forgetting to hold back his surprise.

“Sort of outdoes the rest of us, doesn’t it?” Remus chuckled. “Anyway, I suppose he didn’t realize I’d be here right now.” He hesitated now. “Er, could you…?”

Severus nodded and went on to send a message back to Regulus, saying it worked just fine and that Remus was with him at the moment. He knew Remus probably didn’t want to use his Patronus if he didn’t have to.

They were quiet for a moment.

“Are you… over him?” Remus finally asked. “I’m not trying to find a reason to be displeased with you or anything, I’m really just curious.”

Severus had already said that Remus was a good person. Remus was always kind to him and made an effort to be a truly good friend. Genuinely, Severus could see what Regulus saw in him. But he knew even the best person was capable of negative thoughts. He knew Remus felt discomfort and jealousy sometimes. While he didn’t really understand where the hint of jealousy came from, he found Remus’ negative feelings to be completely valid. He would have felt the same way should the situation have been reversed. Then of course, Remus would have had all the reason in the word to feel that jealousy. But the time for all this was over.

“I am.” He said calmly. “Regulus is very important to me, Remus, don’t get me wrong. It isn’t as if I don’t harbor any affection toward him whatsoever. But my romantic feelings have,” he tried to choose his words carefully, “moved on.”

“That’s good.” Remus nodded. “And of course you still care, you’ve been best friends for years. Honestly, I’m so glad he had you in his life. Still does. You’ve always been so good to him, and I’m grateful. But I do admit it was uncomfortable for me knowing I had apparently been competing with you so to speak. But also, I know it was weighing so much on your heart, and I’m happy for it to be lifted.”

Severus let out a light-hearted huff.

“You’re far too kind to me.”

“I’ve been told similar sentiments before.” Remus laughed. “But I disagree.”

“Indeed. You don’t have that sort of ego.”

“If you say so.” Remus thought for a moment. “Is there someone else who has caught your attention, then?”

Severus subconsciously looked toward the chrysanthemums, and Remus pretended not to notice. Still, he inwardly smiled.

“None of your business.” He pointedly looked away. 

“I’ll take that as a yes.” Remus teased.

“Oh, quiet.”

“By the way, in a completely unrelated question, how come Sirius’ cloak is hanging on your chair? Just wondering.”

Unrelated my arse, Severus thought. He sighed.

“He left it here when he was here last.”

‘Keeping it close to you, then?’ is what Remus really wanted to say, but figured it would be best otherwise. Instead, he offered that they get back to work again.

— 

One of the troubles the Ministry and the Order were facing was the fact that you couldn’t be sure who was on which side. The Order, at least, had a few leads. The problem was the distinct lack of proof. For instance, Regulus was able to confirm Bellatrix and Rudolphus Lestrange, as he had seen their Dark Marks with his own eyes. Bellatrix had practically paraded it around. That wasn’t going to be enough for the Ministry. There was no other reasonable cause to do a search aside from the word of a student. Plus, they needed more names.

“Regulus, Severus. You know I don’t mean this in an insulting way, but either of you would know better than any of us and have people in mind.” James said. “Surely you can think of anyone who seemed likely to join or even told you they would.”

“Mulciber was always very eager. He bragged once or twice how his father was among the first of the Death Eaters.” Answered Severus.

“We will look into Mulciber and his family.” Said Dumbledore solemnly. “Thank you, Severus.”

“Be careful with him. He’s adept with the Imperius Curse. I remember last year I saw him make a spider drown itself. He would regularly do similar things when he was bored.”

“He was always the worst of the lot.” Said Lily in distaste. “Even worse than Avery.”

“Yes, and Avery.” Severus agreed. “He is also worth looking into.”

“How are we to get anything on them?” Regulus asked. During this time, Sirius had been deep in thought, chin resting on his folded hands. Finally, he spoke.

“We can trail them.”

“I suppose we can get a couple Aurors to… ” Lily started.

“No, I could do it.” Sirius stated. “I can be very good at spying without being seen.”

“You’re not implying what I think you’re implying.” Said James warily, keeping in mind the fact that Dumbledore was in the room.

“It’s exactly what I’m implying, James.”

“ _ What _ ?” Said both Regulus and Severus once they realized what Sirius was talking about. This completely caught Regulus off-guard.

“You can’t be serious.” Urged Severus. “That’s utterly reckless. You can still be seen. It’s not the most  _ subtle _ …” He cut himself off. The thought of what Sirius was offering to do nearly made his stomach turn. Remus and Regulus looked at each other in vague surprise. James also looked a bit dumbfounded. They didn’t know that Severus knew.

“I’m completely serious.” Sirius argued, but his voice had softened. “You probably know where each of them lives, right? They won’t even realize I was there.”

“Something tells me,” Dumbledore looked mildly amused, “there are explanations that need to be given.”

— 

Sirius often found himself at Severus’ house, nearly as much as he visited James and Remus. Remus was a bit busier recently after all, trying to find a job in between Order meetings. James was being just as much a layabout as himself, however, so there wasn’t much excuse. To be fair, they were working hard on improving their skills, not just relaxing at home. Today he was going over useful potions, so naturally he had to come to Severus. This was mostly on the weekends, as Severus was generally guaranteed to be home and not at the castle.

“It’s fairly decent so far. You can stand to turn the heat down just the smallest bit.” Severus instructed.

“I always did okay in Potions.” Sirius mused as he ever so slightly turned down the flame. “Not nearly as good as I was at Transfiguration, but everything I made was at least usable.”

“Yes, it’s more than one can say about much of the class. You at least have skills in reading comprehension.” He watched as Sirius grabbed the necessary Sopophorous beans but stopped him before he sliced anything. “No, don’t cut them, there’s a better way to do it.”

“This is what we were always told in class. Exactly from the book, right?”

“Reading comprehension indeed, but that stupid book should be updated. Here.” Severus took Sirius’ hand, guiding him to hold the silver dagger in the correct position, showing him the motion.

“Oh, that is more effective! Honestly, this is why you should take over Slughorn’s post.”

“I don’t know. The more I consider it, the more I think I would loathe teaching children.”

“Ha! Probably. Also, if you wanted to hold my hand, you could just ask.” Sirius winked, smirking. Severus sighed as if mildly irritated.

Despite his jesting attitude, Sirius felt as though his heart was being squeezed.

_ Fuck _ , he thought,  _ I actually really fancy him _ . 

But he already knew this. In a moment of being completely honest with himself, Sirius knew he had been attracted to Severus for ages. But he never knew feelings would ever come into play.

“Sirius.”

Sirius looked at him.

“Did you…” Severus hesitated, “tell Dumbledore what you’ve found?”

“Yes. I’m sure he’ll go over it all this week.”

Severus nodded.

“You’re lucky Dumbledore didn’t tell the Ministry about you. He finds it to be an asset that only a few people know.”

“I know. Honestly, it often seems as though he really disagrees with the way the Ministry does things. He doesn’t like the rules. The thing is though, I think I know what he’ll have me do next. And well… it’s going to be very reckless. I don’t think everyone else will like it.”

— 

No way. Regulus kept a straight face, but it was taking everything he had to keep himself from falling to his knees in laughter at the complete absurdity of it. Was Remus aware of this? He watched as Sirius and Severus walked together closely, Sirius looking at the other with the most affection he’s ever seen from him. A light, cautious touch of the shoulder, a big smile. Seeing his brother playfully brush a lock of hair out of Severus’ face, Regulus urgently tapped Remus’ arm with the back of his hand a few times.

They were all walking to the next Order meeting, so they couldn’t quite have this conversation privately. When Remus turned to him questioningly, Regulus motioned to Sirius and Severus, eyes wide. Remus grinned, forcing back laughter of his own.

_ Does Sirius…? _ Regulus mouthed silently. Remus nodded, cheeks hurting now, Regulus’ shocked face really not helping.

“Sirius!” Regulus decided to hold his brother back a minute as everyone else went into the meeting room.

“What’d I do?” Sirius tensed.

“You’re… interested in Severus, aren’t you?”

“Shit.” Sirius accidentally blurted in a split second of panic. He hadn’t thought of what Regulus’ reaction would be. But instead of being angry, he laughed.

“Don’t worry, it’s fine. I mean it’s completely throwing me, but that’s fine. Just… be good to him, alright? Whether it works out or not.” Regulus’ smile waned slightly. He sort of wanted to tell Sirius to not get his hopes up, but also didn’t want to bring him down. Sirius and Sev? The more he thought about it, the less he knew how to feel. Of course he had been hoping they’d stop fighting but the idea of them being romantically involved? Not that he was upset by the idea, just… flustered.

Sirius relaxed a little.

“Of course. I know it’s improbable, but I really like him, you know?” He looked to the side uncomfortably. “I hope he could give me a chance, but I’ll completely understand if he rather not.”

Regulus figured Severus didn’t dislike the attention Sirius was giving him. He’d obviously react negatively to those little touches, right? In fact Severus seemed perfectly fine with it. Regulus still wasn’t sure how to feel about the whole thing though, despite having laughed at the surrealness of it, and wasn’t going to go out of his way to be encouraging. But he didn’t want to get in their way, either. He loved them both. Who was he to get in the way of their happiness?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone is interested, I posted a series of drawings of everyone here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26113276/chapters/63520720  
> ;v;


	6. Small Comforts (In Which Sirius Has A Mission)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The sky has been very creepy recently from the smoke in the air here. Today it seemed like it was perpetually like 6:30 pm and it really threw me off x:

Regulus adjusted the blue and brown scarf as a small gust blew by. Remus and he sat at Their Bench In The Woods. As they never saw anyone else ever use it, they liked to think of it as being only theirs.

“I’m really never getting that back.” Remus smirked.

“No. That’s why I bought you that replacement.” Regulus turned himself around on the bench, resting his legs over Remus’ lap, his smile impish.

“So are you ready for the match?”

“Of course. I’m not too concerned. I watched their practice a couple times and Gryffindor is kind of weak this year. I suppose they couldn’t find good replacements.”

“How did they not kick you out?” Remus asked as Regulus leaned forward, resting his arms on his shoulder.

“I’ve gotten good at sneaking around.” He laughed. “I have Messrs Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs to thank for that.”

“Ah-ha! You’ve been up to no good then. Well done.”

Regulus could feel the smile on Remus’ lips as he kissed him playfully.

“Speaking of Padfoot though,” Remus continued, “What are your thoughts on him and Severus?”

“I’m not sure yet. I mean, I haven’t seen them together as much as you probably have recently. Has it been this way for a while and I just realized it?”

“Hmm sort of. I noticed a bit before Sirius’ first mission. Severus and I were working and it became pretty clear.”

“So… is it actually mutual? Sirius is clearly into him, but Sev…”

“I’m positive it is. When I prodded, Severus was being a bit coy about it, but take my word for it, he’s definitely interested in Sirius.”

“What do you think about it? I’m having a hard time being objective. Sirius is my brother, and Sev, he’s…” Regulus didn’t want to go into detail about their complicated friendship.

“I understand. You should be supportive of them, I think.” Remus chuckled quietly. “They recently went to Diagon Alley together, so prepare to hear about that. Sirius kept going on and on about it to me. He was so excited. In any case, I don't think there's any reason for you to be concerned. Just watch them, and you’ll see what I mean. I think they could be happy.”

“I hope I’ll see it your way. I just have this bad feeling that has something to do with Sirius. But maybe I’m assigning it incorrectly. It’s probably not about his love life. The more I consider it, it’s about his role in the Order. I’m just nervous about the next meeting after the information he gave last time.”

“About the Death Eaters’ gatherings…” The mood sobered.

“Yeah.”

— 

“Severus, you’ve been staring into space a lot.” Said Regulus. When there was some free time, they had taken to spending it in the empty Potions room, especially when the weather was particularly disagreeable.

“Have I? My apologies.”

“Are you tired? You’ve been working extra hard lately it seems.”

“I suppose I have been. But I’ve been sleeping enough.” Severus ran a hand through his hair with furrowed brows. “I’ve just had a lot on my mind.”

“I see. Maybe this is presumptuous to ask, but, perhaps have you been worried about Sirius?” Regulus asked carefully.

“What makes you think that?” He didn’t sound defensive in any way, just curious, but he felt his stomach start to knot.

“You keep looking at him during meetings, and whenever there’s a situation where he could put himself in danger you’re quick to argue against it. I mean, we’re all worried about each other. This is all a big risk, I understand that. You just seem to be markedly concerned when it comes to him. I mean, last time, you looked like you were going to completely lose it.”

“Yes.” Severus said quietly. “I worry about all of you, you know. I’ve never cared about this many people before. You and Lily of course I’ve cared about for a long time, but now, James and Sirius… I would even feel truly mournful if something happened to Remus.”

“They feel the same about you, I’m sure. I know it.” Regulus said earnestly. “But it’s Sirius you’ve been thinking about. Especially with what he has to do. Personally, I feel ill thinking about it, but he’s my brother. Of course I do. But you?”

The silence Severus gave was enough of an answer. He was normally very good at lying, but he could never bring himself to lie to Regulus, even now. At the same time, verbalising the truth was too much of a challenge. Regulus was also quiet for a while, thinking everything over.

“You know…” Regulus said finally, “if you wanted to go for him, I would be alright with that.”

“I didn’t say it was like that!” But everything about Severus’ face gave it away.

“But it is, isn’t it? You rarely leave his side when he’s here.” Regulus bit his lip, having realized why he was so unsure about the whole thing, and was afraid to ask. “It’s not because he’s my brother, is it?”

“Regulus,  _ no _ .” Severus couldn't help but feel a little hurt by the idea, but he supposed it was a completely valid concern on Regulus’ part. “I didn’t even consider that. No. I don’t see you when I look at him. And our interactions are… much different. You both are very different.”

Regulus nodded.

“I just needed to make sure.”

“I understand.” Severus thought for a moment. “I’ll amend part of what I said. You’re very different aside from your penchant for mischief. You do have that in common.”

Regulus snickered. Since his conversation with Remus about everything, he watched like he said he would. As usual, his stupid, brilliant werewolf boyfriend was right.  


“Fair. He really likes you. He talks about you often and the fun he has spending time with you. Plus I noticed he touches you a lot.”

“Have you forgotten he’s like that with everyone? I’m surprised Lily hasn’t cut his arm off for hanging on James so much.”

“Alright, alright. That’s fair.” Regulus said laughing. “It’s just different. He’s far more gentle with you and to be blunt, there have been things I’ve heard him say to you that are obviously him flirting. Like yesterday when he talked about the day you went together to Diagon Alley and that you should go on another date like that.”

“He was clearly joking. He says things like that sometimes. The joke is that it's too ridiculous to be real because why would he be interested in  _ me _ ?” It really made him upset sometimes, hearing these things and wishing Sirius meant them.

“This is you being self-deprecating as usual. You can’t see it because it’s being directed at you and Sirius is… if you haven’t noticed, he has the tendency of masking his feelings with humor. How long did you go keeping your feelings to yourself and not telling me? Don’t do the same thing with him. Just go for it.”

Regulus looked at him with such fierce determination, Severus knew he wasn’t about to let it go. He couldn’t promise too much confidence, but maybe in small steps, seeing what happens.

“You’re really alright with this?” He said skeptically.

“I am. It’s weird and I never would have even thought it could happen, but now I can actually see it.” Regulus smirked. “And I saw you admiring him in green yesterday.”

“It was bizarre. He never wears green.”

There had been no Order meeting yesterday, but they gathered for the first Quidditch match of the year. Slytherin vs. Gryffindor, naturally. It was highly amusing to see them all donning green and silver. Slytherin won, of course. Gryffindor  _ still _ didn’t have a good enough Seeker.

“McGonagall looked so offended. I think it was mostly at James though, since he played. Nevertheless. That was  _ hilarious _ .”

“I know she takes Quidditch very seriously. Sirius told me she used to play for the Gryffindor team when she was in school. He couldn’t forget it as over the years, he had to polish her award a multitude of times.” A smirk played at Severus’ lips for a fleeting moment before disappearing. “Bloody hell, I can’t believe I’m pining for Sirius Black.”

Regulus burst into laughter.

“Yes well, honestly, seeing how you act with each other now, I think that if you both had been in the same House, you would have fallen for each other ages ago.”

“You really think there’s a chance for me?” Severus pictured Sirius in Slytherin and wondered if he would have been able to make ripples of change from within the House, or end up in the same sort of position as Regulus. Though he supposed Regulus was now the one with that sort of opportunity.

“Yes. You’re amazing and he seems to have realized. Though I can’t say I’m not surprised about you. It’s… unexpected.”

Severus let out a quick, breathy laugh.

“Indeed. I didn’t think I would like being around him as much as I do. He’s actually quite caring, even if he is indelicate about it. But… I found that I like that. Sirius came through for me when I very much needed it and I’ve come to care for him. And he’s criminally handsome.” Severus paused a moment as Regulus laughed at the last statement. “You’re my closest friend Regulus and I do love you. But I knew I needed to direct my romantic affections away from you. Then he fell into my lap, metaphorically speaking. More literally, he fell into my bed. And… in a way that is somehow innocent?”

“If you find getting drunk and passing out as innocent?” Regulus smiled in amusement.

“That’s not quite accurate even if James spun it that way, he was just trying to tease us. We had been laying there for quite a while. It was over an hour at least until either of us fell asleep. We just had music on and layed there enjoying the company. It was the most innocent I’ve seen him.”

Regulus’ contentment waned as more and more worry became etched on Severus’ face.

“He’ll be alright.” But his confidence in the statement wavered. Severus put a hand against his forehead in frustration. “Don’t worry before he’s even left. There’s still over a week.”

“I can’t believe Dumbledore put him up to this.”

— 

After the burial, Severus Apparated back home. He felt heavy. He felt heavy like something was pressing down on his shoulders, keeping his feet pressured against the ground, unable to walk. It was cold and if he didn’t know better, could have sworn there was a swarm of dementors swirling around him, each taking turns at his soul.

He focused once he realized Sirius got there before him.

“Severus…” Sirius rushed over to him, but couldn’t figure out what to say. He didn’t know what was an appropriate thing for this situation.

“The house is mine now, I suppose.” He whispered. His breaths shallow, he leaned his forehead against Sirius’ shoulder. Sirius softly wrapped his arms around him.

“If you feel like… you need to stay somewhere else for a few days, you’re welcome to stay with me. Until you feel comfortable coming back home.”

Severus nodded. He didn’t have to think about it. He couldn’t stand to be there right now. Not yet. He would have stayed there regardless, no matter how he felt. The staff had told him to take a bit of time off, and he didn’t feel right asking to still stay in the castle. He wasn’t going to ask, but he would have taken an offer to stay from any of them if they asked him.

“Tonight?” He asked.

“Sure. Gather whatever you need. I’ll be right here.” Sirius said, trying to sound as straightforward as he could. He didn’t want to be too gentle and come off as patronizing.

Severus went to pack just enough for a few days, figuring he shouldn’t overstay his welcome. Sirius waited patiently for him to come back.

“Ready?”

Severus nodded and Sirius held out his arm for the side-along Apparition, as Severus had never been to Sirius’ flat before. Severus took his hand instead. Sirius lightly squeezed it and a moment later, they appeared in his flat.

It was old, as things generally were especially in wizarding communities, but Severus would later find that it was rather cozy. Sirius led him to a bedroom untouched since Sirius moved in.

“Er, this will eventually be Reggie’s room, but you can use it for right now.”

“Thank you.”

“Maybe you don’t really want to, but you should eat some supper.” Sirius said while Severus put his bag next to the bed. “I can make something for us. I’m no Mrs. Potter, but I promise it’ll be edible.”

“I’ll try.”

That night, Severus slept deeply, though more due to utter exhaustion than anything else.

“You’re not that bad, you know.” Severus said during breakfast.

“What?” Sirius had no idea what sort of compliment he was getting.

“At cooking. We’ve gotten a bit spoiled by the Hogwarts house-elves and the Potters, who can afford the best, so it isn’t fair to compare anything to them. So you’re not actually that bad.”

“Oh. Thanks.” Sirius felt surprisingly flattered.

The rest of the day, Severus tried to preoccupy himself to distract his mind. Mainly reading, as he found that Sirius had quite a decent bookshelf. He inwardly chided himself on constantly underestimating the man. He knew Sirius was very capable and took certain things seriously, even if he sometimes acted otherwise. 

Eventually he gave up, unable to concentrate and instead resigned himself to watching Sirius work. Such as he was advancing his skill in Potions past the teachings at Hogwarts, Sirius was doing so for, not only various defense, but also Transfiguration. He himself always did perfectly alright, sure, but Sirius and James always had a particular talent for the subject. It was really no wonder Sirius was able to become an animagus on his own as a teenager. His mind wandered then to the proposition Dumbledore made to Sirius, which he knew he was preparing for, and he felt his chest tighten.

The second night, he slept fitfully.

The third night, he awoke from nightmares. Quietly, he got out of bed thinking perhaps he should just walk around some and get a glass of water before trying to sleep again. When he got to the kitchen, however, he found Sirius was already there.

“Oh. You’re up.”

Sirius jumped very slightly, but relaxed once he realized it was Severus.

“Yeah. Couldn’t sleep. You neither, it seems?”

“I woke up.”

Sirius nodded, not wanting to push him into talking about anything. They both stayed there in the kitchen for a while, every once in a while one of them looked as though he wanted to say something, but ultimately decided otherwise. Eventually, Sirius did speak.

“I guess I’ll go try to sleep again.”

“Alright.”

Severus sat on the bed warily. He sat there, internally debating, tapping nervously against his knee. He then stood up again and made his way to Sirius's room.

“Severus.” Sirius was sitting up, back against the headboard. He didn’t respond, his gaze darted between Sirius and the bed, and suddenly Sirius understood. He moved over, allowing the other some room. Silently, Severus went over and slipped into the bed, wrapping himself with the blankets firmly.

So badly Sirius wanted to wrap an arm around him, but resisted doing so. After all, it meant nothing. Severus just needed the company. It was an odd pattern they set for themselves, sleeping next to each other like this. Regardless, they both slept soundly until late into the morning.

— 

Sirius was late. The energy in the meeting room was tense as everyone waited for him to show up. He had been gone for two weeks on his most recent mission and he was supposed to be back by now. There had been some contact with him as he would occasionally send out a Patronus if there was something time-sensitive such as a planned attack, in which case Aurors would be dispatched to prevent the situation. James and Lily had even ended up as backup against one of these attacks, aiding the Aurors Frank and Alice Longbottom. Two of Voldemort’s followers were apprehended, though neither were from his inner circle. However, the last message sent was a few days prior and they didn’t know his current status since then.

Remus and Regulus held each other’s hands tightly. Remus felt vaguely nauseated at the thought of something happening to his best friend. He couldn’t even imagine how Regulus felt, being his closest family. Severus’ eyes were intense. His inner fear was not present on his face; instead, he looked as though if someone had hurt Sirius, he was going to give that person a slow, merciless death.

When Sirius finally entered the room, out of breath, the room completely relaxed. James let out a deep exhale, dropping his head into his hands, muttering something that sounded like “ _ thank god _ ”. Lily put an arm around him, gently stroking his back. Sirius had dark circles under his eyes, hair tangled after spending so much time as a dog, and had clearly hurried to get there.

“What took you?” Regulus asked, sounding more angry than he intended. “We were all terrified.”

“I’m so sorry.” Sirius said, sitting down at his regular seat. “A few of them decided to linger and have benign little chats that seemed to go on forever. I was in no position to try and leave until they were completely gone, or else I would have certainly been seen. Trust me, I really didn’t want to listen to their conversation about what kind of tea their fucking house-elf makes. There were too many delays caused by me wanting to stay alive.”

“We are all glad you made it back in one piece, Sirius.” Said Dumbledore. “That’s the most important part. Now, what information have you come back with?”

“He’s said some very strange things. Of course, much of it was him preaching about this new world he wants to create. You know, the usual pureblood rhetoric. Then there were the attacks I told you about already. However, he expressed interest in expanding his army with more than just wizards. He talked about creating inferi and is considering somehow making use of giants. Talking about the inferi is when it really got weird.” Sirius dug out a small notebook from the pockets of his dirty robes. “He talks about death a lot. Or rather, his will to cheat it somehow. He seems to think he’s found a way or something, but he uses vague, overly poetic language. It’s just what I got from it. Still, I wrote down these weird references each day, so you can decide for yourself.” He slid the notebook across the table to the Headmaster.

Dumbledore opened it and flipped through a few pages, a rather curious expression on his face, followed by the slightest touch of concern.

“Thank you, Sirius. This is incredibly valuable information. I will inform my connections within the Ministry about the giants and inferi as soon as I can.”

Sirius felt so much better in clean clothes after a good bath and a shave, but was still completely shaken as he laid in bed that night. Tailing the Death Eaters individually had been simple enough. Sometimes he had to hang back a bit to not bring any attention to himself, but it was easier at night and was able to catch a lot of information from them. However, he hadn’t known fear before like he did hiding in the vicinity of Voldemort himself. One or two of his followers he knew he could handle, but that many of them in addition to the most powerful dark wizard alive? Sirius was glad to still be there to enjoy those small comforts of life.

— 

“You’ve been quiet today.” Said Remus, leaning against Regulus. They were in the Room of Requirement, which was currently taking the form of a warm, cozy little room which somewhat resembled the Gryffindor common room. It had been Remus’ turn to choose. Severus was busy in the greenhouses, and Professor Sprout wouldn’t let Sirius tag along, so he followed James and Lily around. The three of them had run into Pandora and were exchanging Head Student stories, including James and Lily enthusiastically telling her how they got Remus and Regulus together.

“I’ve just been thinking about the things Sirius said. Or rather, what he wrote down and what it means.” Regulus sighed. The information had been disturbing to hear to say the least.

“You don’t think it’s true, do you?” Remus wasn’t accusing Regulus of being wrong, but really didn’t want to accept the idea. “He can’t have possibly found a way to live forever.”

“It’s just that I… there’s a book I looked through once back at Grimmauld Place quite a while ago. It was honestly really evil looking, but it’s not surprising something like that would end up tucked away in the Black family library. Of course I was awfully interested in looking at it. Sirius eventually saw me and gave me a hard time about it. I just can’t remember exactly what it was, but I feel as though it’s relevant. That’s why I’m frustrated. It’s not like I can just show up there and ask to borrow a book.”

“I suppose something like that would be incredibly dark magic.” Remus felt his skin crawl at the thought. “But yes, that is a problem. Especially from Hogwarts. It’s not like you can just Apparate there and back like a house-elf.”

Regulus partly opened his mouth to respond, but suddenly stopped. He was silent, a finger lightly pressed against his lips thoughtfully.

“Remus.” He eventually said quietly.

“Er, yes?”

“You’re sort of brilliant, do you know that?”

Remus felt his face heat up.

“What do you mean?”

“‘Like a house-elf’ you said. Do you think it’s possible that I can still call Kreacher?”

“ _ Oh _ .” Remus knew exactly what he was getting at. “I don’t know. It would be worth a try.”

Regulus nodded and decided to try it.

“Kreacher, come here!”

They waited a moment, but there was nothing. 

“I don’t suppose the room disallows Apparition, even for elves?” Remus offered, seeing the other’s disappointment.

“That could be it. We could maybe  _ ask _ if that’s the case.”

“Do you think the school elves may know about this room?”

“They probably know the castle better than anyone. If the rules of it are known by anyone, it would be them. We can sneak into the kitchens.”

They made their way down the floors until they got to the entrance hall, where they were stopped by Professor McGonagall. It’s like she had a sense for when a student was trying to be sneaky.

“You certainly aren’t planning any trouble, are you?” She asked, brows raised. While Remus generally was not a perpetrator, he was known after seven years to be an accomplice to mischief. Though as none of the other Marauders could be seen, she couldn’t be sure. Not being a student anymore, Remus wondered if he would be exempt from some of the rules. Thankfully, Regulus had the situation covered.

“Of course not!” He said, looking taken aback. Regulus put on an air of bashfulness and took Remus’ arm. “Er, we were just… you know… trying to find somewhere  _ quiet _ to go.”

“ _ Ah _ .” She cleared her throat awkwardly. Remus could have laughed. She wasn’t going to question them. “Very well.”

Once she walked away, they successfully descended the stairs.

“You wonderful snake.” Remus kissed him on the cheek as the door to the kitchens opened.

Quickly, Remus was greeted by an elf and offered food, and Regulus wondered whether Remus and his friends had a habit of sneaking into the kitchens while they were in school. He wouldn’t put it past them. He let Remus do the talking then, since he obviously had some sort of rapport.

“We came to ask you a couple questions, actually.”

“Of course, Mr. Lupin!” Exclaimed the elf. Yes, Regulus decided, they definitely frequented the kitchens if the elf knew his name.

“Do you know about a room that appears only when you need it?”

“Yes, Dinny knows about the Come and Go Room!” She squeaked.

“The Come and Go Room…”

“Indeed. Some of the other house-elves know it as the Room of Requirement, sir!”

“That sounds like what we’re thinking of, yes. Thank you, Dinny. Are elves able to Apparate in and out of the room?”

“No, sir! It is impossible, even with elf magic. It is the only part of the castle the house-elves cannot Apparate or Disapparate from.”

“I see. Thank you, you’ve been very helpful.” Remus offered a smile. “Regulus, did you want to try again, then?”

He nodded and once again called on Kreacher, really hoping that, if it worked, he wasn’t in the middle of talking to his parents. A moment later, the elf actually showed up.

“Kreacher?”

The elf looked around confused for a second, wondering where he was suddenly summoned to whilst in the middle of cleaning. His eyes turned wide.

“Master Regulus!” Kreacher began to tear up. “Kreacher thought he would never see Master Regulus again!”

“He still serves you.” Remus stated. “I wonder if it’s the same for Sirius.”

“I doubt Sirius would have tried. They've never gotten along. Kreacher, it’s very good to see you.”

The elf only cried more.

“Er, please stop.” Regulus requested uncomfortably. Kreacher stopped.

“Does Master Regulus need something from Kreacher?”

“Yes, but please don’t tell my parents I’ve talked to you. I need you to find a book for me that should be in the library at Grimmauld Place.”

“Of course, sir.”

“It’s called Secrets of the Darkest Art. It’s really old. Bring it to me when you find it, and don’t let anyone catch you, even if it means it takes you awhile to find it. I really don’t want them to punish you for helping me.”

Kreacher resisted crying again, if only due to Regulus’ order. He always thought Regulus to be his kindest master. Once he left, so did Remus and Regulus, finding themselves with gingerbread and mugs of hot cocoa in their hands as the elves sent them away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had started writing Sirius and Severus' Diagon Alley "date", but it felt like it would be too out of place. I was thinking of finishing it and making it like a mini chapter but I don't know??


	7. One Of The Most Incredible Things (In Which It's Christmas)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few months early perhaps, but here's a (mostly) light Christmas chapter!  
> Sirius likes scritches.

The Christmas holiday arrived, and Regulus was in his new room getting ready. It was decided that the party would be on Christmas Eve in order to not conflict with anyone spending Christmas Day with their families. Sirius and Regulus were going to spend it at Remus’ house. Today was the party, and inwardly Regulus hoped there would be an unspoken rule against talking about the war. Just for these two days. He heard the front door open, meaning Severus had arrived. Apparently he needed to return something he had borrowed, but really Regulus knew the two of them just couldn’t wait to see each other.

“I’m glad you decided to come. I know you’re not really one for parties.” Said Sirius. 

His robes were a rich, dark blue which Severus assumed to be of silk and velvet. He thought Sirius looked actually incredible. He may be a Prince, but to him, Sirius looked like a king, only missing his crown.

“It helps that I’ll be surrounded by people I tolerate.” Severus said. “How has it been here?”

“Oh, fine. Now that Regulus is here and I’ve had a few of you over, it’s feeling more like a home. Still, it feels weird not living with James anymore.”

“Why did you move out? You seemed happy there. And it isn’t as though they couldn’t afford it.” Severus sat on the sofa.

“I can’t live with them forever. James will eventually inherit the place, I imagine. And he and Lily won’t want me there bumming around, I’m sure.” He chuckled, joining the other.

“I suppose that’s true.”

“So have you caught up with your work? I can’t believe you tried to make up for the time you had off.”

“I have, and it was quite worth it. But now I can rest a little.”

“That’s good. You have time to visit me.” He grinned. “And James I guess.”

“Hmph.” Severus smirked. “You think I rather visit you than James?”

“I would like to think so.” Sirius laid on his back, resting his head on the other’s lap. For a moment, Severus stopped breathing. “What’re you looking at? Finally appreciating my dazzling good looks?”

Definitely not, he thought. No, definitely yes. Of course he was always aware of how Sirius looked, he just never used to truly appreciate it like he did now. What did he say before? Criminally handsome.

“Your hair has gotten awfully long.” He so badly wanted to touch it.

“You’re one to talk. But I think it looks dashing, if I say so myself!”

“It’s in your face.”

Delicately, Severus brushed the lock of silky hair out of Sirius’ face.

“Do that again.” Sirius whispered.

“What?”

“Please do that again.”

Severus hesitantly ran his fingers through Sirius’ hair, causing Sirius to completely relax into him.

“Bloody hell that feels really nice.” Sirius closed his eyes. He found those elegant hands to be less soft than he expected, probably from all the work he did. However, his touch was so gentle, in stark contrast to his words.

“You really are a dog, aren’t you?”

“Oh, shush.” Sirius reached up and put a finger to Severus’ lips. Oh god, Severus felt it in his entire body.

“I’ll bite your finger off.” Severus said coolly, but he lightly smirked.

Well, Regulus walked in on _something_. He didn’t really want to get in the way of their weird brand of flirting where they both refuse to acknowledge that’s what’s happening, but it was about time they left for the Potter estate. 

“Er, sorry to interrupt, but are you both ready to leave?”

While he wasn’t that surprised to see them like that, what he _was_ surprised about was how they were completely unreactive to him seeing them. Instead, they just stood up without making any sort of embarrassed fuss. He supposed it was because they individually knew their feelings were no secret to him. Regulus was awfully tempted to just tell them to stop avoiding the obvious, but figured maybe he really needed to let them work it out themselves.

Once they were all ready, they each Disapparated.

— 

They weren’t late, but it seemed that they were nevertheless the last ones to arrive. Remus quickly saw Regulus, excused himself from Peter, and rushed over to hug him, placing a light kiss on his cheek. He then greeted the other two cheerfully.

“Oh, Lily is coming.” He said, grinning. “Just wait for it.”

Lily did come over to greet the three of them, giving them each an energetic hug.

“It’s so nice that you’re all here!” She smiled, completely glowing in happiness.

“Always glad to be here.” Regulus said earnestly.

“Alright, what’s going on?” Sirius put a hand on his hip, wondering why everyone was extra cheerful.

Lily inhaled deeply.

“Look at it!” She held her hand out, showing the ring on her finger. It was clearly an antique, probably a family heirloom, but it was absolutely sparkling.

There was immediately a clamor of overlapping congratulations.

“Oi!” Sirius yelled, finding James and enthusiastically patting him on the back. “Finally! Good job, mate. I would have thought you’d do some dramatic proposal at the party tonight.”

“I considered it, but thought she would probably prefer something less showy.” James shrugged.

“It seems to have worked out well in any case! She’s clearly happy.”

“Now it’s your turn.” James teased. “Remus is the shyer one and ended up with someone before you. What’s with that?”

“We’re not going there, Prongs!” Sirius blushed faintly and went to go greet everyone else.

Everyone chatted merrily in smaller groups, hopping around every so often as they all caught up with each other. They were all determined to talk about the good things going on in their lives; Lily especially went on about wedding plans. For food, there was a large table with a multitude of options to snack on, from sandwiches to little cakes.

Sirius grabbed a glass of wine for himself and one for Severus and went over to hand it to him.

“Oh, thank you.” Severus said gratefully, consciously brushing against Sirius’ fingers as he took the glass.

“I like the new robes, by the way.” Sirius smiled, heart racing. They weren’t fancy by any means, but still nice. Black, naturally, but had a hint of cranberry and light grey in the details. “I like the bit of red.”

“You would.”

“I would. You didn’t choose it because I’d like it, did you?” Sirius winked then went to go talk to James and Peter.

“Did I see what I think I saw?” Lily asked Regulus.

“If it’s Sev and my brother obnoxiously flirting with each other, then yes.” He sighed.

“I knew they were being unusually friendly, but I had no idea it was like that. Do you not approve of them being together?”

“Oh no, they’re not together but they may as well be. I’m starting to think they’re playing some sort of game of stubbornness, trying to see who cracks first.”

“They _are_ two of the most stubborn people I know.” Lily laughed. She watched as they exchanged glances across the room. Severus was talking to Remus about something determinedly. “It’s really no wonder they took so long to reconcile. But I didn’t quite expect them to go in the complete opposite direction.”

“Yeah. I’m glad though. By the way, do you have any idea what Severus and Remus have been up to? They have these conversations about something, but whenever I ask what they’re working on, neither of them will tell me. Some secret project.” He huffed.

It had been a while since she last saw it, and Lily nearly laughed at the petulant look Regulus had. He still really didn’t like things not going his way.

“No idea. Maybe they’ll tell you when they’re done. Does Sirius know?”

“He either knows but won’t tell me that he knows, or he doesn’t and isn’t making a fuss about it.”

“They’ve been getting along better, Sev and Remus. I remember they used to be more awkward, even if polite. They seem like much more comfortable friends now.” 

Huh, so James never told her. Regulus thought he really was a good friend. He would continue to keep it to himself that it was just an issue of jealousy that was now shed. 

“I’m happy about it. Even if they are keeping something from me.” He wondered if it was something Order related, but he was still making it a point to not mention the war.

  
  


“I think I’ve made quite a bit of progress, actually.” Severus was saying.

“That’s good to hear. So have the studies at Hogwarts really helped you with it?” Remus asked.

“Yes, somewhat. I try not to keep too off topic, but I manage to slip in questions pertaining to wolfsbane when it’s convenient, such as in reference to the Wideye Potion.”

“Isn’t that a rather basic level potion? Fourth year or so?”

“Yes, though in my opinion it should be taught earlier. I was making the sample of it for one of Slughorn’s classes. It’s a little easier to bring up with Sprout. For some reason, Slughorn is a bit adverse to being asked unusual questions. It doesn’t help that I had to ask if I could borrow ingredients from the school.”

“Are ingredients becoming a problem?” Remus frowned.

“I’ve started to find that the ingredients most probable to be effective are a bit… expensive.”

“Oh. If it’s becoming a problem, you don-”

“Remus, don’t. It’s fine. I’ll plant some things myself if I have to. Which, actually I should have done already. In any case, I think I’m understanding how the ingredients can work together to counteract the full moon.”

“When you need to test it, you know to tell me.”

“I knew from the beginning you were going to be eager, I just…” Severus sighed anxiously. “When we get there, don’t be alone when you take it, alright? Make sure Sirius is with you. In case it-”

“I know you’re worried about it going badly. Don’t worry, I would never take an experimental potion alone.”

“Thank you.”

“I still can’t believe Sirius told you.” Remus smiled, trying to lighten the conversation.

“He was a little drunk, to be fair.” At the subject, Severus took this moment to take a large sip of his wine. It made Remus chuckle.

“Though you haven’t told him what you’re working on yet?”

“I think he would make a big deal about it. You haven’t either.”

“Fair enough. Initially I didn’t want him telling me not to go along with it. Though now I don’t think that would be an issue. He trusts you now. One of us should at some point, especially now that it’s more within reach.”

“Now, I’m concerned about giving false hope. I’m really trying, Remus, but I still can’t promise I won’t fail.”

“I know it’s a possibility. Nevertheless, I believe you can.” Remus held his glass up, offering a toast. Severus complied, giving a small smile as their glasses clinked. At catching him looking over at Sirius, Remus smiled softly. “You were really worried about him.”

“Of course I was. That was unbelievably dangerous.” Severus said defensively. “You were worried too.”

“He’s my best friend. You, on the other hand, were surprisingly protective.”

Severus sighed, his voice going quiet.

“I couldn’t bear the thought of something happening to him.”

  
  


After momentarily disappearing upstairs, James returned to the rest of the party, looking absolutely devious.

“Where’d you run off to then?” Lily asked playfully.

“I have a game for us all to play.” He announced, grinning.

“I don’t feel good about how he said that.” Sirius said to Peter.

“Yeah, that’s the look he gets when he comes up with something really conniving.” Peter agreed.

“So!” James continued. “I propose we play a nice game of exploding snap.”

“Is… that all?” Lily sounded very cautious.

“Of course not. There’s a twist!” He dug into his pocket and took out a small vial of a potion, which was clear like water.

“How did you get that?” Severus asked in alarm, knowing exactly what it was.

“Oh, I have my ways! So here’s the game. We all take a dose of veritaserum and during this hour, play exploding snap. Every time someone wins a point, that person gets to ask someone anything they want. Of course, this means the pace of the game will be off, but I think it might be more fun this way.”

Everyone considered it a second.

“There should be some ground rules.” Said Regulus. “No asking about things related to the Order.”

“I agree with that.” Said Sirius.

“Yes, I think that’s perfectly fair.” James agreed. “Is there anything else? We can’t have too many rules or else there’s no point. That one was definitely a good idea though.”

No one else could think of anything, so James got the game set up. Everyone was nervous to be on the receiving end, but they all were curious about things. Plus, who didn’t like a good game of exploding snap? They each took their three drops and the hour began as they played on the floor.

It was rather soon after starting that Severus gained the first point, causing the room to feel a little uneasy. No one knew what sort of places he was going to go.

“James.” he said.

“Yes?” James answered, tensing and wondering whether this had been a bad idea.

“How in the _world_ did you lot manage to get around the castle like you did when we were in school? Sometimes it was like you expected me to be somewhere even if it was in a random corridor. It was uncanny and I know you were doing _something_.”

What caught him unaware was that Regulus let out an amused snort of a laugh at the question.

“Well clearly, Regulus knows the answer.”

“It’s a map.” James laughed, relaxing. “The four of us, y’know, me, Sirius, Remus, and Peter made a map of Hogwarts a few years ago. It shows everyone in the castle and where they are at all times. It also shows all the secret passages. I would show it to you, but Regulus has temporary ownership.”

“It’s true.” Said Regulus. “It’s currently safe in my trunk.”

Severus raised his eyebrows in surprise.

“That’s… awfully skillful actually. Of course you would use it for nefarious purposes, but really I shouldn’t keep being surprised by your skill in magic. All of you.”

“Well, you’ve all seen it!” James looked proud of himself. “I’ve gotten a compliment from Severus Snape. I’ll always remember the day.”

“Oh, shut up.” Severus grumbled.

“I’ll show it to you next time you’re over, if you want.” Regulus offered.

“We can spy on the staff who stayed during the holiday.” Sirius grinned.

“I suppose we could do that.” Severus hid his smile behind his wine glass.

They continued to play, and quickly, Sirius won a point after nearly stabbing James’ hand with his wand. James rubbed his hand as Lily was covering her mouth with her knuckles, laughing.

“Remus!” Sirius pointed at him dramatically. “And also Regulus I guess. Where the hell do you both disappear to after meetings?? And no this doesn’t have to do with the Order because this is _after_. And obviously I can’t use the Map to figure it out.”

“The Room of Requirement.” Remus answered.

“The what?”

“Regulus found it just the other month. It’s on the seventh floor and it’s a room that appears when you need it. There’s a specific way of getting it to appear. So you wouldn’t be able to see us on the Map anyway since we never knew about it. I wouldn’t be shocked if it’s Unplottable though.”

“Bloody hell, we never found out about this?” Sirius looked legitimately bummed that the Marauders never knew about it when they were still students.

“That’s amazing.” Said James.

“I bet it would have helped us not get caught as often.” Suggested Peter.

“Yes, hiding the evidence.” James nodded. He opened his mouth to say something, but changed his mind. “Nah, that’s a different question.”

“I’m starting to be convinced Dumbledore is off his rocker whenever he assigns Head Boy.” Said Lily, looking between James and Regulus.

“I feel as though he likes a little mischief.” James grinned. “Alright, let’s continue.”

Everyone watched in vague wonder as Remus quite ruthlessly beat Regulus just by a hair, Regulus now laying on Remus’ arm, the latter of whom was reveling in his victory.

“Nice try, my love.” Remus chuckled. “But speaking of…” he looked slyly at James and Lily, “where was your first kiss?”

“That’s so cheesy, Moony!” James said, face just slightly flushed.

“It was next to the lake.” Lily said, smiling. “It was very romantic.”

“Unlike _yours_ , Mr. Got Cold Feet And Ran Off.”

Regulus started laughing.

“I was in a panic!” Remus pouted. “I felt really bad about it right after.”

So that’s what happened, Severus mused silently.

“Aside from that, it was a bit romantic though.” Regulus said. “He _did_ save me from a falling chandelier.”

“You both make everything dramatic, don’t you?” James laughed.

“It runs in my family, at least.”

“Hey!” Sirius tried to sound offended, but frankly he couldn’t quite deny it was true. “...Okay, fine. Maybe it does.” He waved for the game to go on.

It was a close point again, but this time Severus won for the second time as he, Lily, and James went for the card simultaneously.

“How are you so fast?” James huffed, earning a scoff and smirk from Severus.

“It’s no wonder you weren’t a Seeker.”

This earned him quite a few giggles from everyone else.

“By that logic, Regulus should have won the previous point!” James whined.

“It’s not really fair.” Regulus argued, pointing his thumb toward Remus. “He can reach farther. Not my fault he’s bigger than me.”

Remus choked on his drink for a second, causing Regulus to turn red at the realization of his phrasing. Both Sirius and Severus looked shell shocked while everyone else was in absolute stitches.

“You know what I meant!”

Once everyone calmed down, Remus addressed Severus, amused.

“Well, it’s still your question if your sanity isn’t completely destroyed by us yet.”

“Hardly. James.”

“Me again?” James said cheerfully. “I’m popular tonight, aren’t I? Or am I just that mysterious?”

“Indeed.” His tone was matter-of-fact. “James. Or, perhaps I should say _Prongs_ ,” he noticed the sudden unease on James’ face, “Sirius isn’t the only one of you who’s an animagus, is he?”

James hesitated. Severus noticed Lily didn’t look surprised at the accusation, further confirming his assumption. Instead, she was looking at him expectantly, waiting for him to admit it.

“He’s not the only one. Don’t know why I didn’t tell you after Sirius did, really. But I’m not shocked you figured it out.” James shrugged.

“It made too much sense.” Severus briefly looked over to Peter, who gave him a bashful look. His face tightened for a brief moment before looking back at James. “A stag I assume.”

“Yeah.”

“That’s even more conspicuous than Sirius. In any case, is someone going to try and beat me?”

This just made everyone feel even more competitive. Lily won this time, if only because Severus got distracted for a split second by Sirius tying his hair back. He looked damn attractive.

“So!” Lily said too cheerfully. “Remus and _Reggie_.”

“Oh please don’t.” Sirius groaned.

“Where did you first shag?”

“No!”

“The Shrieking Shack.” Said Remus nonchalantly. Regulus nodded. Everyone stared in slight horror.

“I want to say that is distinctly unromantic, but honestly that does seem like your definition of romantic.” James added.

“Not in that bed upstairs?” Sirius asked nervously.

“Er, where else?” Remus laughed.

“I’ve laid on that bed in dog form!”

“Come on, I would _clean_ it.”

“But it’s the principle of the thing- wait, more than once??”

“Well we didn’t know the Room of Requirement existed yet.”

Sirius covered his face and groaned loudly.

“You really do have a talent for pushing Sirius’ buttons, Moony.” James grinned.

“It’s hilarious.” Regulus smiled.

“I mean, I wouldn’t care if you weren’t talking about my _brother._ ” Sirius made a sour face.

“That’s fair. I wouldn’t want to know the details of your sex life either. Which I do know is nonexistent right now.”

“James, I’m feeling slightly ganged up on.”

  
  
  


The game was starting to come to a close, but there was still plenty of time before the hour was up. Regulus finally put his Seeker reflexes to good use, swiftly beating out James and Sirius.

“Okay, so Remus.”

“Me?” Remus said, surprised.

“Yes. And Sev.” Regulus turned his head to look at Severus, then back at Remus again. “What in the world have both of you been working on? You have some secret project neither of you will talk about. It’s something to do with whatever research you’re working on Severus, which you avoid talking about. And Remus, I know you’ve been meeting up when Sev isn’t at the castle or with Sirius.”

Remus looked at Severus, who then nodded at him in affirmation.

“Well,” Remus started, “he is the better one to ask, but since you asked _me_ , Severus has been working with wolfsbane, trying to find something that will help treat my condition.”

“I can only dream of creating a cure.” Severus added. He saw the awe on Regulus’ face and grew more sheepish. “But if it can make transformations more bearable… we haven’t mentioned it before in case it ended up being a failure. I didn’t want anyone else to have false hope.”

“But you’ve been slowly figuring it out.” Remus offered an encouraging smile.

“That’s amazing.” Regulus breathed out.

“So that’s why you’ve both been so busy!” Said James, utterly impressed. “I assume you’ve been helping with the research, Remus? Having the werewolf expertise.”

“Yes, pretty much.” Remus confirmed. “Giving my first hand experience.”

“It’s helpful. So I know what I need to focus on.” Severus explained.

Sirius had been quite interested to know the answer. Like Regulus, he also knew they were up to something. It had been even stranger when Remus wouldn’t tell him. Now that he knew, it was one of the most incredible things he had ever heard. He knew how much Remus suffered. Not that he could _truly_ know, but he had come as close as he could to understanding without having the same curse. And he knew how hard Severus had been working, and now for it to be, not only for someone he used to loathe, but for something so important and wonderful and caring, he felt his heart fill with affection.

“Severus.” He said quietly.

“Sirius?”

“Did you know you’re remarkable?”

Before Severus could even think to answer, Sirius kissed him fiercely, pulling him into an embrace. Once they parted, Severus grabbed him by the shoulders, pulling him into another kiss, smiling against his lips as Sirius made a small sound of surprise. He thought it was stupidly adorable. Sirius deepened the kiss, one of his hands trailing up Severus’ back to the nape of his neck, threading fingers through his hair as Severus adjusted himself onto Sirius’ lap. Sirius felt as though, just for that moment, time had stopped. Absolutely nothing else mattered. He was kissing Severus. He was finally kissing _Severus._ Tasting light sweetness and wine against those soft lips, it was exactly as he imagined it would be.

Both James and Peter looked shocked, but James was particularly slack-jawed. Amused, Lily let out a wolf-whistle, promptly embarrassing the two, who now pulled away, very aware that they just did that in front of _everyone_.

“Did that really just happen?” Asked James, completely thrown off.

“You didn’t know?” Responded Regulus. “You figured out Remus and me just fine.”

“I’ve been preoccupied!” James made a gesture toward Lily. Fretting over his proposal took a lot of his recent attention. “You know, Sirius, I was _joking_ when I asked if you were going to snatch him up. Not that I have a problem with it, I think it’s great. I’m just surprised. Since when were you into him? You used to call him ugly the most of all of us.” The mix of veritaserum and alcohol made his tongue a bit loose. Still, they were all very aware of how they all used to interact, so that wasn’t news.

“Throughout our sixth year!” Sirius admitted loudly.

“What?” Both James and Severus exclaimed, with everyone else also staring in bewilderment.

“I _hated_ you. I hated you because James hated you and you were one of those aspiring Death Eater Slytherins who live for Dark Magic like my family, I needed to hate you. It’s what we _did_ . We had to be cruel to Snivellus and you had to be cruel to us. I was so angry, so bloody furious when I realized I was attracted to you because how could I be attracted to someone I loathe with every fibre of my being? Maybe if I was angry at you enough it would go away, but then everything happened and you weren’t the person I thought you were and I was angry about how wrong we were about you and actually I really like you. I never want you to be hurt by us again because _fuck_ I really like you.”

Severus reflected upon this. The first half wasn’t groundbreaking. He knew all of this. It isn’t like any of them could forget what the relationship was like between him and the self-proclaimed Marauders. But to think, for the past two years— Severus leaned over to Sirius, letting their foreheads touch. 

“Always so blunt.”

Sirius didn’t like feeling so vulnerable and immediately felt self-conscious about the outburst, but at the same time, it was like a huge weight was lifted. He smiled.

“You like it, though.”

“...Maybe.”

“I told you, dramatics run in the family.” Regulus said, smirking. Sirius shot him a look.

“I take it,” Remus said softly with a smile, “I should tell my parents we’ll be having one more tomorrow?”

Sirius took one of Severus’ hands.

“Will you be with us tomorrow?”

Severus realized this would be the first time in years he spent a Christmas outside the castle. Not only that, but with people who cared about him. He pushed his emotions down. Not in front of everyone.

“I would want nothing more.”

Sirius smiled brightly then kissed him again.

The game was crashed by that point, but the gathering continued with everyone having a nice relaxed time.

“Hmm, Lily Potter just has such a nice ring to it, right?” James said dreamily, sitting with her on a large, squishy chair.

“I think it does.” Lily cuddled closer to him, giddy at the thought. She held her hand out in admiration. “And Lily soon-to-be-Potter has a nice ring.”

This got a few giggles from the room.

“You know, hypothetically speaking,” James looked at Remus and Regulus, “which one of you would take whose name?”

The two looked at each other, the thought never having crossed their minds.

“I’m too young to think about my baby brother being married!” Sirius exclaimed.

“ _Baby_ brother? Please, you’re hardly two years older!” Argued Regulus.

“Two?” Said Lily. “Ah, right, because of how the birthday cutoff works for school, Sirius being all the way in November. Old man in comparison to the rest of us.” She laughed.

“I’m not old!” Sirius whined. “If I am, so are you and Severus. It’s only two to three months between us.”

“Fair enough. So, what _is_ the answer?” She looked at the pair.

They thought about it a moment, going over the combinations in their heads.

“Maybe it could be hyphenated.” Remus said. “Hypothetically speaking.”

“Lupin-Black.” Regulus stated as if it had to be that order. “That one’s the best. Hypothetically speaking.”

“I like it.” They hadn’t been together as long as James and Lily yet, they were only coming up on their first full year, but Remus would be lying if he said it wasn’t something he thought about occasionally. After all, he knew by this point this was something that was going to be long-term. At least he wanted it to be. He hoped Regulus was just as in it for the long run.

“I can see that.” James agreed. “That seems to suit both of you.” He then looked at Sirius and Severus.

“ _What_?” Sirius asked cautiously. “James…”

“We’ve been together an _hour_.” It felt weird for Severus to say. Not that it was bad. Just insane.

“I know, but humor me.” James shrugged, smiling merrily. “Besides, from everyone else’s reaction, seems as though you’ve _really_ had something between you for a while.”

“I would rid myself of my surname in a heartbeat.” Severus said, not having to think about it. It didn’t even have to do with Sirius specifically. He just hated his own name. Sirius realized this just fine.

“You would, I know that.” He said. “I mean, I wouldn’t mind dissociating from my parents, but I wouldn’t mind keeping my name either. At least I’d still be connected to the part of my family I do like. Lupin-Black.” He snorted. “I better be the first to get an invitation, you know.”

Seeing how sheepish and red Remus became at the thought, Regulus smirked and responded to his brother.

“I’ll hand it to you personally.”

Remus stared at him, positively astonished.

Everyone started to wind down, getting ready to leave for the night. Lily and James were bringing things back to the kitchen, while Remus, Sirius, and Regulus were discussing the plans for the next day. While all of them were distracted, Severus walked over to Peter, who was in the hall on his way back from the bathroom.

“Don’t say a word.” Severus said under his breath, then grabbed him by the arm tightly. Ignoring the expression of fear, he hissed in Peter’s ear, “If you betray any of these people, or if I catch you even thinking about it again, I will hunt you down and make you yearn for death. Do you understand me?”

Peter merely nodded, too afraid to speak even if he wanted to.

“You’re lucky you weren’t in Slytherin. Snakes eat rats like you alive.” Severus then let go and left to rejoin Sirius and the others.

— 

Sirius looked fondly at Severus, who was borrowing his clothes again. It was cute as hell. Partly because red plaid pajamas and band t-shirts were quite outside of Severus’ usual aesthetic. But partly just because it was Severus.

“It feels oddly strange now.” Severus said, looking at the space left for him on the bed. He knew it was silly, as they had obviously slept in the same bed before more than once. But this time it wasn’t… platonic. Looking back on it though, he thought perhaps the previous time wasn’t quite that platonic.

“I know what you mean. Especially since this time we’re both sober and not distressed. It’ll be nice. I can actually cuddle with you this time. Do you know how much I wanted to last time?”

Severus finally crawled in.

“I wouldn’t have minded that. Of course, you wouldn’t have known. So I suppose I appreciate the respect you showed me in that regard. Then again, I’m the one who came to you.”

“That really wasn’t the time for me to make a move though.” Sirius offered a smile and held him close. He smiled wider as Severus nuzzled against his shoulder.

“Honestly, I still don’t understand how. Since sixth year… how could you possibly…?” He played with Sirius’ hair. “You’re the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen, and I...” 

Sirius was caught by surprise at that compliment, leaving him momentarily flustered. But then he focused on the point that was trying to be made. He wouldn’t stand for that. He pulled back slightly so that they could look at each other.

“I like the way you look, you know. Well, I guess you don’t and that’s why I’m saying this. But it’s true. Despite anything that may have been said to you before, you actually have a nice face. Yeah, you were an awkward kid, sure, but that’s not the case anymore. And a lot of thirteen year olds are awkward. Maybe you could be considered unconventional, but not everyone can be me.” He winked. “You have the most incredible eyes. I could look into them forever. And a kissable mouth.” He placed a small kiss on his lips. “Especially when you smile, but even when you don’t. You have graceful hands and you hold yourself in such an elegant way as if you came from royalty. You have nice hair even if it does get oily. The important thing is that I think you’re attractive and I’m really into you. I could go on about your wit and talent, but that’s stuff you already know.”

Severus could have cried. It took so much effort not to. No one, _no one_ , had ever commented so positively on his appearance before. He buried his face again against Sirius’ shoulder, breathing deeply to try and keep in his emotions. Sirius decided to add one more thing, wanting to bring the tone back to light-hearted.

“Also, I like looking at your bum.” He whispered playfully. “Especially in muggle trousers. But even more especially in my pyjamas.”

He heard a muffled little laugh and felt satisfied. It was so bizarre for Severus to hear all of this, his own self-consciousness aside. The fact that _Sirius Black_ was saying all this to him. He then thought back to the previous autumn how much more critical of Remus Regulus had become when talking to their Housemates. That’s how Severus had figured it out. He had realized Regulus was just trying to cover it up and was a bit overdoing it. It suddenly made sense. Sirius had been doing precisely the same thing. It was a consolation, however, that as things were now, they didn’t have to hide their relationship like they would have had to at school. Couldn’t associate with a blood traitor. Damn, it sounded so stupid now. Now that he thought about it, he felt quite sorry for Regulus and Remus for needing to hide it at all, even if they no longer have to. Regulus didn’t care about the opinions of classmates necessarily, no, just the wrath of his family. His memory flashed to the state Regulus was in when he first left home and realized Sirius probably went through the same thing. Maybe it didn’t go exactly the same way, but close enough. He remembered it was their fifth year. Same one as the ‘prank’, the same one when Severus destroyed his friendship with Lily.

“What are you thinking about?” Sirius asked quietly, as Severus had been silent for a while. “Didn’t fall asleep already?”

“Sirius, did your family hurt you as well? Used the Cruciatus Curse on you…”

Sirius wondered what prompted this, but didn’t have a problem answering.

“Yeah, they did. Don’t worry yourself over it. It’s already been a few years. I’m fine.”

Severus wasn’t surprised by this answer. It had been a hell of a year for both of them, hadn’t it? Severus hadn’t realized at the time. He always thought Sirius to be a spoiled, rich brat who threw a fit and ran off to his spoiled, rich friend. How far it was from the truth. They really did handle their suffering in similar ways. He said nothing more about it. Instead, he tenderly pressed his lips against Sirius’, caressing his cheek. Sirius’ eyes fluttered closed, and any thoughts faded, taken now by slow, burning kisses.

— 

Remus and Regulus were curled up by the fire on Christmas evening. Sirius had already gone back home by then, Severus with him. Regulus, of course, was staying with Remus for the night. 

“Reg?”

“Yeah?” He took Remus’ hand.

“Were you serious when you alluded to getting married?”

Regulus felt the air leave his lungs.

“Yes. Eventually. I realize it may be a bit soon to be thinking about it but… I want this to last. I love you, Remus. I’m really, really in love with you.” There was a quiet desperation in his voice as he said it. “I never thought it would ever happen to me, you know? Falling in love and getting married. At least not with the same person.”

“That… makes me so happy to hear.” Remus leaned his head against the other’s softly. “I want a future with you, too. I love you.” He placed a kiss on Regulus’ temple. “What do you mean ‘not with the same person’?”

“I figured my parents would probably end up arranging something with some pureblood girl.” He sighed. “She would probably love someone else and maybe so would I and it would be a sham of a marriage either way. I’d never be able to give her that kind of love. Maybe it’s too dark of a thought. But I know it happens plenty in pureblood families.”

“Unsurprising. Truly ridiculous, the whole thing, but unsurprising.”

“I feel truly lucky to be with you.”

Remus felt his breath catch. He blinked furiously, fighting back the tears. He never thought anyone would love him as much as Regulus did. He was not something that could be loved. Yet he was. He laughed under his breath.

“Well, I’m glad to know you would say yes if I were to propose to you at some point.”

“Hey, who said you get to do the proposing?” Regulus whined jokingly.

“I did.” Remus smiled.

“And why would that be?”

“You kissed me first, and you were the first to say ‘I love you’. I feel like this one is mine.”

“Oh.” Regulus thought about it. “I guess that’s true. Okay then, you can have this one. I look forward to finding out when and how you end up asking me.” He smiled wryly. “Nothing quiet and unassuming like James did.”

Remus laughed. 

“I’ll try not to disappoint you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's another fic I plan on starting to post in October, likely on the third and do every two weeks. I've found going back and forth between projects is a good way of preventing me from getting completely burnt out on either.  
> Anyway, it's a Remus/Severus fic that takes place over the course of Prisoner of Azkaban, if any of you are into that ship! While by nature it has to start diverging from canon, it mostly sticks to the PoA timeline. Probably not an uncommon concept, but I really wanted to try my hand at it ;v;


	8. The First Test (In Which Remus and Regulus Make an Awful Discovery)

It was only a few days after New Years when Kreacher showed up with the book Regulus had requested. If it hadn’t been for the fact that the book looked so vile and corrupt, it would have been humorous to see the small elf carry something so lofty. Regulus read carefully through it during the next couple days, often, Remus noted, holding an expression of distaste at its contents.

The two were sat on the sofa of the brothers’ flat, Regulus reading further as Remus teared out what felt like the hundredth job posting out of the Daily Prophet. Sirius was spending time with James for the day, partly to go birthday gift shopping for Severus. He had come to Regulus in a panic earlier, asking for advice.

“What the actual hell…” Regulus muttered under his breath. Remus looked over to him with furrowed brows, his worry only increasing at the fear peeking behind the look of disgust.

“What did you find?”

“I think I found what I was talking about before. Tell me this doesn’t remind you of what Sirius heard.” He turned the book around, handing it over to Remus, who started to read.

“A horcrux? I don’t remember ever learning about this.” He read a little further, his face tightening. “This sounds exactly like it. Do you think it’s even possible to-”

“Keep reading.”

Remus did so, reading that it had indeed been done before. The book then went on to explain in gruesome detail how to create one. The color drained from his face, and he began to feel queasy the more he read.

“This is repulsive,” he whispered. “You don’t think he has actually…”

“I don’t know. I hope not. You think… we should tell Dumbledore.”

“Probably.” Remus thought back to when Dumbledore first looked through the notebook Sirius gave him. The expression he had. “Maybe he already knows this was what Voldemort was referring to. But perhaps it wouldn’t hurt to ask.”

“Yes. When I go back, the moment I have a chance, I’ll talk to him.” 

Remus gave the book back to Regulus, who immediately closed it with a grimace.

“Imagine,” Regulus said. “Imagine if he made one. How could anyone know what it was? It could be anything.”

“I mean, I would think someone would want something significant to house part of their soul, if keeping it intact is so important to them. But I also don’t know the mind of an insane man.” Remus sighed.

“Yeah. This should be hidden.” Regulus tightened his grip on the book. “I don’t know how many copies there are and how easy they are to find, but I don’t think people should see it, especially not people like my family. I guess I’ll keep it in my trunk for now.”

Remus nodded.

“You said Sirius caught you with it before and made a fuss, but I think if he knew what was actually in it, his reaction would have been much worse. Though now, it may be important.”

“Yes, but let’s keep this to ourselves right now. Who knows, maybe I’m wrong.”

— 

Regulus was making his way to his compartment on the Hogwarts Express, squeezing past all the students still bustling around to find a spot for themselves. He was happy to see a particular Slytherin student, who he realized was asking a pretty Hufflepuff girl if he could sit in her compartment. She had long dark hair and light ice blue eyes, and looked a bit confused, although not upset, about why a Slytherin boy was suddenly asking this. Regulus smiled as he realized the boy was being quite bashful about it.

“Hey, Akram. Nice holiday?” he asked as he passed by. Akram turned around, startled, but grinned once he realized it was Regulus.

“Great, thanks. Yourself?”

“It was certainly something.” He laughed. “I’ll see you later, yeah?”

“See you!”

“You’re amused by something,” Severus said lightly as Regulus joined him and Pandora in their compartment. Since he needed to go to the castle anyway, he had gotten permission to take the train with them.

“A student I know was talking to a girl he clearly fancies. I hope things go well for him.” He chuckled. “He was very nervous.”

“The one who talked to you before?” Severus had been told about the whole interaction.

“Yeah. He seems to be doing well. That’s good. So, how was your holiday?” Regulus asked Pandora.

“It was very nice, thank you,” she said cheerfully. “I was able to get some painting done, which I appreciate. I can’t really bring all my supplies to school.”

“I’d love to see your work sometime. I’m sure it’s great.”

“Thank you for saying so.” She glanced away bashfully. Her smile was modest, but she really did appreciate the positivity. “What about yourself?”

“It was great! Relaxing but also very… interesting.” He laughed, though what he learned so recently haunted his thoughts. Regulus looked slyly at Severus, who pointedly looked away, fidgeting with a string at the hem of his sleeve.

“Oh? There seems to be a story here.” Pandora smiled impishly.

“Not much of one. Just that my best friend is now dating my brother, which is taking some getting used to.”

Severus covered his face in embarrassment.

“How lovely. You were wondering when they would finally get together. Is it not what you expected?” She giggled.

“Oh, it’s not that it’s bad or anything,” Regulus explained. “I’m quite happy they’re together, it’s just a little strange still considering who they are.”

“They did used to hate each other, didn’t they…”

“I’m right  _ here, _ ” Severus grumbled.

“I know, but it’s very funny how flustered you’re getting.” Regulus looked at him fondly.

  
  


— 

Regulus wasn’t sure if he should talk to Dumbledore the first night back. Despite being tired from traveling, he felt the need to ask as soon as he possibly could. But surely the Headmaster would be too busy? Perhaps he should wait until tomorrow. Nevertheless, he stared intently at Dumbledore during supper, as if willing his thoughts to get to him. Eventually, they managed to lock eyes, and to Regulus’ surprise, Dumbledore seemed to lightly nod.

After giving some instruction to his prefects, Regulus rushed to the Headmaster’s Office. He didn’t know the password, but thankfully, the door opened, probably as Dumbledore had been expecting him. Indeed, Dumbledore looked up from his desk with a serene smile as Regulus walked in.

“I thought you might stop by,” the Headmaster said. “You seemed very intent on speaking with me.”

“Yes, sir. It’s about what Sirius told you. The things he wrote in that notebook.”

“Have you discovered something?” Dumbledore’s expression changed somewhat, losing the smile.

Before saying anything else, Regulus looked to the frame that housed the portrait of Phineas Nigellus. It was empty, so he took the chance to talk.

“You seemed to have an idea of what he was talking about. Voldemort.” Regulus had realized that Dumbledore always said the name, unafraid to use it. He went out of his way to try and do the same. He wouldn’t give the name so much power over him. “Is he talking about making a horcrux? Is that what it is?”

Dumbldore’s face darkened now, and Regulus immediately knew he had been correct. He went on.

“You don’t think he’s actually made one, do you?” The fear of the answer was clear in his eyes.

“I do not know,” Dumbledore said calmly. “However, I assure you, I have begun looking into the matter. I am curious to know how you came across this information. This is not something we teach at Hogwarts, even in the context of defense. The only references to horcruxes have been removed from the library for decades.”

Apprehensively, Regulus explained how he had figured it out, from his initial vague recollection to requesting Kreacher. To his relief, Dumbledore didn’t seem angry.

“Have you told anyone else about this?”

“Remus was there with me when I figured it out.” Regulus wavered for a second. “I plan to talk to Severus about it too, but I haven't had the chance yet.”

Dumbledore nodded and considered this.

“Please, keep it with only those two. I would rather this not spread, at least for the time being.”

“Yes, sir.”

Dumbledore was about to say something else, but stopped himself as Phineas Nigellus returned to his frame. He and Regulus stared at each other for a moment, then Regulus turned back to Dumbledore, deciding to ignore his relation, who gave little annoyed  _ tut. _

“In any case, I hope you had a pleasant holiday, despite your, ah, studies?” Dumbledore’s smile returned again. He had obviously changed what he was going to say before due to present company.

“The best.” Regulus only briefly glanced at the portrait. “It’s nice to spend Christmas with the people you love most.”

“Wonderful to hear. I had gotten a little concerned. After all, Slytherin’s House points dropped below Gryffindor’s just before the holiday.”

Regulus hadn’t realized this.

“Damn it, maybe I took away too much,” he muttered, a little annoyed at himself. His eyes then widened at his language. “Er, apologies, sir.” But Dumbledore seemed more amused than anything else. Regulus thought about it another moment. “No, it’s fine, they did deserve it. I won’t abide by slurs being thrown around in my common room.” He had taken away thirty points each from multiple students for use of the word  _ mudblood  _ just a couple days before the holiday. If looks could kill. “I’ll just try to earn points from Slughorn to make up for it.”

It was subtle, but Dumbledore looked at Regulus with a look of what seemed to be pride. Regulus suddenly became bashful at this. It certainly made up for the judgement coming from Phineas Nigellus.

After their talk, Regulus went to the owlery before bed and sent Remus a simple message:  _ I was right. Dumbledore requests you not tell anyone yet. _

— 

The next couple days, Regulus and Severus were too busy to be able to talk, but finally, Regulus was able to find Severus in the potions classroom, writing a letter.

“Oh, Regulus,” Severus said light-heartedly, almost smiling until he saw the other’s expression. “What is it?”

“I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something.” Regulus looked around nervously then closed the door. He also cast Muffliato, which only concerned Severus more. “Er, first, how has your work been going this week?” He said, walking up to the desk.

“It’s been going well, but that’s clearly not important right now. What’s happened?” asked Severus, vetoing any avoidant small-talk.

“Er, before we came back, I discovered something related to what Sirius heard during his mission.” Severus gave a mildly surprised look at this. “I’ve talked to Dumbledore and learnt my suspicions were correct. But Sev, he wants us to keep this quiet right now. You can’t even talk to my brother about it. Remus already knows because he was there with me and I told Dumbledore that I already planned to tell you. Otherwise, it’s imperative that it not get out even to the rest of the Order.”

“I understand.” Severus didn’t like the idea of not telling Sirius, but he understood that some information could be sensitive enough that it should be kept to as few people as possible, even among those who are trusted. Sometimes it only took one person to break down everything. Regulus took a moment before speaking again.

“Have you ever heard of a horcrux?”

“No, I have not.”

“That’s not surprising. According to Dumbledore, the teaching of it has been banned and all books referring to it removed. It’s some really,  _ really  _ Dark magic.” Regulus thought back to the description of how to make one and felt disgusted. “It’s an object that houses a part of one’s soul. It requires committing a murder to do it… part of your soul gets ripped from you and is stored. As long as it remains intact, you’re essentially immortal.”

Severus nearly felt numb at the realization. That exactly fit what Sirius heard. And the fact that Dumbledore confirmed it. The old man obviously knew about the existence of such an object. The thought that Voldemort could possibly… 

“You don’t think he had actually succeeded?” His voice was weak.

“There’s no way to know just yet.”

“I see.” Severus took a deep breath, processing the entire idea. Of all hurtles the Order could have had, this was possibly the worst. He clung to the idea that Voldemort hadn’t yet succeeded. If he did, it wouldn’t change Severus’ mind on anything. It just meant everything would be unbelievably more challenging.

They stood in silence for a while.

“So, what are you writing?” Regulus finally said, not wanting to leave Severus on such a dark note.

“It’s a letter to Remus.” Severus was grateful for the distraction. “I thought… this month could be the first test.”

“Oh!” Regulus perked up at this. “That’s wonderful.”

“I hope so. I’ll give it to him while I’m home during the weekend, since the full moon is next week. But I thought I would let him know.”

“He’ll be really excited about it.”

“He shouldn’t be. It may not work at all.”

“I doubt that.” Regulus offered an encouraging smile. “Everyone has confidence in you.”

Severus recalled something Sirius had said to him when they were discussing it a few days prior to him coming back to the castle: ‘If anyone can do it, it’d be you’. It made him smile, even if it was untrue. Clearly Sirius hadn’t realized or forgotten how skillful at potions Lily was. The reason he even felt he could start testing the potion now was that Lily had sent him a note with a recommendation of something to try, and it had been quite a brilliant idea. He owed her one.

“Thank you for saying so.”

Just then, there was a knock on the door. Regulus undid the charm and opened the door with a little wandless spell. It was just Slughorn.

“Ah, good evening lads,” the professor said, a little out of breath. “I just forgot some paperwork.”

“Well, I should leave you to finish,” Regulus said after nodding a greeting to Slughorn. “I still have a bit of reading to do and then I have practice in the morning. Usually Talkalot relaxes a little after the Gryffindor match, but Ravenclaw is a bit strong this year.”

“That was a great match, my boy! It’s been a while since I’ve seen Minerva so worked up! Gryffindor was absolutely devastated. Makes up for last year.” Slughorn exclaimed, inserting himself into the conversation.

“Yes well, they have two new Chasers and neither of them are even half as good as James. It’s quite sad for them.” Regulus smirked as Severus coughed, trying to hide a laugh.

  
  


— 

A couple days after the full moon, Severus met with Remus and Sirius at the latter’s flat. He had wanted to let Remus have a couple days to rest, assuming the potion didn’t work correctly the first time. His assumption was correct, but he was glad that Remus seemed well. Neither of them appeared angry with him, so he assumed Remus hadn’t been poisoned.

“So?” Severus asked in anticipation. Sirius shook his head.

“Something did happen though,” urged Remus. “Obviously, I transformed, but I was pretty much expecting that. I still lost control, but I actually was able to remember little bits of the night.”

“Oh.” Severus raised his brows just slightly. “Yes, you usually lose all memory. How much do you remember?”

“Not the whole thing. Just random bits and pieces. Like I distinctly remember Sirius running around in circles like a hyperactive child.” Remus smiled a little, never having realized Sirius’ enjoyment of zoomies.

“Hey, it’s fun!” Sirius argued. The image of that Severus had in his mind was rather endearing. It was only for a moment though, as he already started thinking of how he could improve things.

“I know it’s not the most important thing, but is there a way to make it taste better?” Remus chuckled.

“My apologies. It’s probably the bitterness of the rue, only exacerbated by the other ingredients. I’ll see what I can do, but adding anything sweet may negate the effects of the wolfsbane, I’m afraid.”

“Ah, I see. Well like I said, it’s not a big deal. We’ll try again next month, right?”

“Yes, this has been insightful. It’s… encouraging to know it actually did  _ something _ . You remembering is a decent first step, I suppose.” Severus could only imagine being completely aware of yourself and unable to control your actions. He thought it would be awful. He knew he needed to push past this step quickly. Sirius saw the apprehension on his face and smiled.

“Hey, it’s pretty amazing that you’re able to do this. Maybe it’ll take a while, but this proves it’s actually possible to effect werewolf transformations.” He gave Severus a light kiss, making him immediately feel much better about things.

“Thank you.” One corner of his lips twitched into a smile.

“So how has my brother been since spring term started? I haven’t heard from him.”

“He’s been working rather hard.” This much was true. But Severus knew Regulus had a lot on his mind. Severus knew he was working so hard to distract himself from the thought of an immortal Dark Lord.

“Well, he did say he wanted to be sure to earn more N.E.W.Ts than Sirius did.” Remus laughed, knowing exactly what Severus was avoiding talking about and wanting to corroborate Regulus’ lack of communication.

“Hmph! We’ll see about that!” Sirius said in mock indignance.

— 

The next month went by rather quickly. Up until then, the Order of the Phoenix had not been meeting cohesively. Dumbledore would meet with James, Lily, Sirius, Remus, Regulus, and Severus there at Hogwarts, but it generally did not include the other members they knew to exist. They knew the Longbottoms were members, for example, as well as Alastor Moody and a pair of brothers named Prewett, but they recently learned there were more that just recently joined. Lily’s former roommates Marlene McKinnon and Dorcas Meadowes apparently came to Dumbledore expressing their thoughts, quickly accepting the offer to join the Order. Lily was surprised but glad to see them. She knew them to be strong. A man named Edgar Bones also joined, whom they did not know, as they learned he was a few years older and had been in Hufflepuff. The current members also learned Dumbledore had a brother, who was also helping the cause. While not always possible, Dumbledore now thought it was important for the entire Order to start meeting together more often. Not too often, however, as smaller groups were less conspicuous. Nevertheless, sometimes it was just easier to have everyone in one place.

The main cause for concern was that Voldemort and his Death Eaters had gone a little quieter. It was worrisome if it meant they were planning something. The Order needed to be ready for any eventualities.

— 

“Hey, nice job on beating Ravenclaw,” said Akram as he and Regulus left the Slytherin common room to go to supper.

“Thanks! They were pretty hard to beat this year,” Regulus said confidently. “Hufflepuff really had no chance back in November. Er, no offense to Hufflepuff. I know you like a girl from there.”

“You can tell?” the younger Slytherin exclaimed, looking mildly horrified. Regulus laughed.

“What’s her name?”

“Ella Durand. She’s in my year and is really good at Herbology and I heard people saying she’s also really good at Transfiguration but my year doesn’t have that class with the Hufflepuffs. She’s pretty okay at Astronomy but I think she’s just really tired at that point in the night, she must wake up early. She fell asleep against her telescope once, but it was kinda cute actually. She’s usually pretty calm but cheerful and has a pretty smile and really cute freckles and...er...sorry.” He ran a hand through his dark waves bashfully.

“Nothing to be sorry about.” Regulus couldn’t help but grin. “I’ve been there. Hmph, seems like I missed the memo on Hufflepuffs.”

“Wait what?”

“One of my cousins married a Hufflepuff.”

“Oh.” Akram laughed. “They’re pretty great.”

“I like my Gryffindor, thanks!”

“After the game, I saw you with him. I wanted to say hello, but I didn’t want to bother you once I saw you were with your friends. He’s the one with brown hair and scars, right?”

“I wouldn’t have minded that. They’d like to meet you. But yeah, that’s him.” Regulus felt giddy at the memory. Remus gave him such a nice congratulatory kiss.

“He seems nice. I recognize two of your friends to be the previous Head Students. I know your friend Severus of course. Is the other one your brother?”

“Yes, that’s Sirius. Do you have any siblings?”

“Yeah, I have a little sister. She’ll be starting at Hogwarts next year. I’m glad I’ll have at least a couple years left here to be overprotective.” Akram chuckled. “However, most of my family is Slytherin, but I wouldn’t be surprised if she actually gets sorted into Ravenclaw. I think it would be great for her, but at the same time, I’ll be a little sad we can’t spend time in the common room together.”

Regulus nodded.

“I’m glad you have a good relationship. I regret losing so many years with Sirius.”

“Yeah… I’ve started talking to my parents, you know.”

“How’d it go?” Regulus thought Akram had been cheerful enough after Christmas, so he figured nothing too bad could’ve happened.

“Well, they weren’t particularly happy with what I was saying. Maybe it helped that I was trying to be as reasonable as I could without y’know, sounding like I was trying to pick a fight or something, but they didn’t shout at me or anything. When I first brought up my thoughts, they were clearly upset, but we had multiple talks and by the end we were having more two-sided discussions than anything.”

“That’s really great!” Regulus said as they sat down in Great Hall. 

“Oh yeah, and by the way, two of my roommates will be sitting with us today. One of them is intent on being irritated at me for talking with you, but these two are starting to come around to our side.”

Regulus was surprised, but it was something amazing to hear. Two more turning away from hatred.

“I’ll be glad to meet them!”

— 

“Again, sorry for getting back to you so late. Whatever you did helped a lot.” Remus was telling Severus. Both of them plus Sirius were at Spinner’s End this time, sitting at the kitchen table while Sirius was making something to eat with food he ‘forgot’ there a couple days prior. “I remember much more than the first time.”

“Don’t worry about it. I realize we didn’t have time to talk last time we met. That’s good to hear. I did a lot of revisions for this month. Hopefully the smoke coming from it isn’t too off-putting? I wasn’t really expecting that.”

“It’s sort of pretty actually.” Remus laughed lightly. Severus huffed with a slight smile, but it quickly disappeared.

“I’m starting to be at a loss. There’s either something I’m missing, or I need to think about it in a different way… I’ve taken into account everything you’ve said about how transformations work and how potions affect you, magical effects of the full moon itself and wolfsbane and just about any possible ingredient I could read up on.”

Sirius suddenly stopped what he was doing. Something Severus said stood out to him.

“Severus, did you just focus on the full moon? As in only the night of transformation?” he asked, joining them at the table.

“Yes.” Severus didn’t think about anything otherwise. He looked at Remus, who seemed just as lost as himself. “Why?”

“Well, Remus isn’t affected by the lunar cycle only on the full moon. Have you thought about the other phases?”

“What do you mean?” Remus asked, really having no idea what Sirius was talking about.

“You get more and more tired as the full moon approaches. Maybe you’re just dreading it or something, but you get more scattered leading up to it and you have less energy. You also eat more.”

“Really? I know I start to get more anxious but I didn’t know… all that. Do I?”

“Ask James and he’ll say the same thing. We’ve known you for over seven years now, Moony.” Sirius laughed. “We’ve teased you for eating a lot, but I suppose you never realized it was always during the week before the full moon.”

Severus was taking this all in, looking like he had an epiphany.

“I need to take into account the waxing gibbous.” This could change the entire thing. Severus now felt more hopeful. He got up and stepped over to Sirius, kissing him firmly. “You’re actually brilliant.”

“Thank me when it works.” Sirius winked. “I have ideas.”

“You have no shame.” Severus sat back down, smirking wryly.

“I don’t.” Sirius grinned. “But I do try to tone it down for you. Unless you rather I didn’t?”

“You…” Severus fidgeted, “only have to ‘tone it down’ in public.”

Remus fought to control his laughter. He really had no idea what a relationship between Sirius and Severus would look like, but he found it was actually kind of sweet albeit in a strange way. And to his memory, he couldn’t recall Sirius being so enthusiastic about anyone he dated back in school. Then it occurred to him that Sirius was probably trying to distract himself from Severus the whole time. Funny, he thought, how they found their way to each other anyway.

— 

Regulus was laying on the bed in the room Remus used in Hogsmeade when they had Order meetings.

“I’m starting to get a bit concerned.” He said, putting down the textbook he was reading. “Phineas Nigellus talked to me again when I paid a visit to Dumbledore recently.”

“Oh. You talk to Dumbledore outside of meetings?” Remus asked, sitting at the edge of the bed.

“Not often. I just wanted to ask him if he found out anything else about… you-know-what. He hasn’t. Which can either be good or bad, I don’t know.”

“What did he say then that’s got you concerned?”

“Apparently Voldemort asked a favor of them.”

“What?” Remus turned to him in alarm.

“Yeah. Bellatrix came to them on his behalf. Said he needed to borrow something.” Regulus took a deep breath. “Since he couldn’t borrow me. I don’t know what it is. Either Phineas Nigellus didn’t catch what it was, or he didn't tell me. But it sounded like the former. I'm tempted to call Kreacher and ask him but I don't know. I don't think they'd like it if they found out I'm snooping."

"How come he's told you this? To make you feel guilty?"

"I don't know. Phineas seemed oddly uncomfortable about it. Dunno what to make of it."

"I think... maybe you should call him. Your house elf. You can make him not tell, right?"

"Yes, that's true. Still, they could easily figure it was me." Regulus hesitated, but then decided to proceed. "Kreacher, please come here."

A moment later, the elf showed up, looking alarmingly haggard. Eyes wide with terror, rags damp and dirty.

  
  



	9. To Challenge Death Himself (In Which There's a Fight)

“Kreacher, what’s happened to you?” Regulus exclaimed, bolting upright. The elf looked at him with large, watery eyes, arms curled meekly against his small body. Remus’ first thought was that Regulus’ parents figured out Kreacher was talking to him, but it remained to be seen. Besides, the state of the elf was too strange for that to be the case.

“Kreacher wished he would be called, sir!” His voice was shaking with fear. “Kreacher is relieved Master Regulus has called.”

“Tell me what happened,” Regulus demanded. “Please.”

“The Dark Lord, sir,” Kreacher whimpered, fidgeting his spindly fingers. “He needed to borrow a house elf, sir.”

Remus and Regulus looked at each other a moment, faces falling. 

“What did he make you do?” Regulus asked quietly, afraid of the answer, but he needed to know.

“The Dark Lord had Kreacher help hide an object precious to him, Master Regulus. A locket, now hidden in a cave. Kreacher tested the defenses, sir. An awful, nasty potion.” The elf shuddered. “After, the Dark Lord left Kreacher in the cave.”

Regulus’ scowl deepened as the elf spoke, slowly turning to quiet rage.

“Did… did he know you would be able to get out?” Remus asked gently. He was horrified by what they were told, but saw how upset Regulus was getting. He needed to stay calm for both of them. Kreacher shook his head.

“The Dark Lord knew not.”

Regulus stood up angrily and paced the room.

“He left you to die!” he growled. “He made you do the dirty work and left you to die! Remus, Remus you know what he’s done, right?” Behind the anger was unmistakable fear.

“He’s made a horcrux,” Remus whispered. “We need to t-”

“No. Not yet. I…” Regulus nearly pulled too hard at his hair. “I need to do some research. Please, give me some time. I need to figure something out.”

“But-”

“Please, Remus.”

The desperation reminded Remus of the night Regulus confessed his fears to him, his unwillingness to join the Death Eaters. At least right now, he couldn’t bring himself to say no.

“Okay. For now. But we _will_ need to tell Dumbledore soon.”

Regulus nodded and forced himself to calm down.

“Kreacher. Don’t mention what we talked about here. If my parents ask, you can go ahead and tell them what Voldemort did to you. But don’t tell anyone what the object is or that you’ve told us.”

The elf nodded with a whimper.

“Go home now, alright? Get some rest.”

With that, Kreacher Disapparated back to 12 Grimmauld Place.

— 

Over the next week, Regulus researched magical artifacts during much of his free time. Perhaps it really was just a locket, but this was Voldemort. Surely, he would want to use something significant. He thought Remus was probably correct about that. Regulus flipped through a few different books until he came across a book about the founders of Hogwarts. He sat curled in his bed with the book at night as his roommates were still in the common room. As he read through the founders’ artifacts, he felt a shiver. Salazar Slytherin owned a locket. Could Voldemort really have found it? It just made too much sense. Voldemort was famously a Slytherin. Trying to put himself into the man’s shoes, Regulus thought he also would want something like that to house a part of his soul. He looked at the illustration of the gold locket with its inlaid gems in the shape of a serpentine _s_ and thought it was rather beautiful. And that it may be sullied by— But how would one even find an object belonging to a Hogwarts founder? The book said Ravenclaw’s Diadem was lost, but what about the other three?

  
  


“Professor Slughorn?” Regulus walked up to the Potions Master's desk as the rest of the class filtered out. He figured if he was to ask the professor a seemingly impertinent question, today would be a good day to do so, as he earned quite a few house points for the perfect potion he brewed. Severus had warned him Slughorn was uneasy about such questions.

“Great work today, my boy!” Slughorn said jovially. “Curious however… if I recall correctly, your description was different than it was last year?” It was a potion made for extra points— they got to choose whatever they wanted to make. Regulus decided on Amortentia. While his had been successful the previous year when they first learnt it, he found it difficult and wanted to try again since he had the chance.

“Yes, sir. Some were still the same, but some changed.” Something that didn’t change was the woody scent of the broom shed, though it was now more prominent, as well as what he learned to be the scent of Remus’ clothes. There was now also the addition of something sweet he thinks he smelled in the Potters’ kitchen, taking over a fading scent from 12 Grimmauld Place. 

“It’s common for it to change over time! In any case, what can I do for you?” Slughorn smiled, seeing the expression on Regulus’ face grow a bit shy at the mention of his potion. Once the professor changed the subject, however, he grew concerned over the particular type of coyness that washed over his student. He has seen that sort of look before.

“Er, I was just wondering if you knew anything about the artifacts belonging to the Hogwarts founders.” Regulus didn’t know why, but he could have sworn Slughorn sighed in relief.

“Oh! Perhaps Professor Binns would be the better one to ask, but what about them?”

“Mostly if they were actually real and something someone could actually acquire. Just out of curiosity. I was reading about the founders and read that Ravenclaw’s Diadem went missing, and I was just wondering about the others.”

“I see, I see! Well, like Ravenclaw’s Diadem, the Sword of Gryffindor is also missing, so to say. However, there’s been record of Hufflepuff’s Cup and Slytherin’s Locket, so we know the other two must exist as well, even if we don’t know where they are.”

Regulus felt his heart race, but remained calm. He was certain it was the locket.

“Th-” his voice didn’t want to work for a split second. “Thank you, professor.”

  
  


Just before Easter holiday, Regulus came to Slughorn after class once more. His timing of this question was calculated. He wanted some time since his inquiry on the founders, as he didn’t want Slughorn to think the questions were related in any way. Also, he wanted to be able to leave the castle before Dumbledore could get wind of his line of questioning.

“What can I do for you today, Regulus?” Slughorn said happily. “You seem to have understood today’s lesson perfectly well.”

“Yes, it's one of the many perks of being friends with Severus,” Regulus gave a brief smile. “But no, it’s not about that. I know it’s not taught here but I was wondering, professor, what you know about horcruxes.” What Regulus didn’t expect was how pale the Potions Master would become at the question.

“Now, listen here! We don’t talk about magic this dark here—” Slughorn sputtered.

“You misunderstand my intentions,” insisted Regulus, thinking he should have realized Slughorn wouldn’t have assumed he wasn’t asking with the intention of _making_ one or anything. “I already know about them and how they’re made,” he noticed the professor’s face only got more fearful, “I was wondering if you know how to destroy one and if one is destroyed, if the owner of it can feel it.”

Slughorn appeared to have calmed somewhat, but still gave him a side-eyed glance.

“I don’t know where you’ve gotten your information, but there’s a reason teaching about them is banned here.”

“I’ll be rather offended if you think I would have any interest in attempting to make such a vile thing,” Regulus scowled. “I found it quite repulsive and was immediately curious about the destruction of them.”

A faint touch of guilt made its way to Slughorn. Dumbledore told him about Regulus’ situation, necessary as his Head of House, and such ill intentions went against the narrative he was told. He was no Legilimens, but there was an earnesty to Regulus’ disgust. He sighed.

“Being an object of immensely powerful dark magic, it would take an incredibly destructive force to destroy one. There’s just so much we don’t know, I couldn’t tell you what would happen to the owner, even if I wanted to.”

There was clear disappointment on Regulus’ face, but he was able to hide his frustration. He couldn’t let Slughorn think this was anything other than academic curiosity.

“I see. Thank you again for humoring me,” he forced a smile. 

When he left the room, Regulus had guilt gnawing at his stomach. He was going to have to tell Remus what he planned to do and knew there was no way that he was going to approve of it.

— 

“Reg, what’s the matter?” Remus asked, watching him pace the room.

Regulus couldn’t say anything all morning, but now Sirius had stepped out a bit, it was finally the chance he had to tell Remus. His throat felt like he had swallowed a dagger and he couldn’t bring himself to look at Remus.

“I’m going to go after it.” His voice was barely above a whisper.

Remus’ lips twitched into a small frown, his brows furrowing so slightly.

“After what?” He already knew the answer, but he asked in the desperate hope that he was wrong.

“The locket.”

Remus had such a sinking feeling, it was as though his soul was trying to leave his body. If he hadn’t already been sitting, surely his knees would have given out on him completely. Regulus wanted to go after the locket? An object protected by Voldemort himself to house a piece of his soul. Trying to get through whatever manner of Dark magic had to be a suicide mission. Somehow he found his voice.

“No.”

The tone was so brusque, Regulus turned to him.

“What do you mean, ‘no’?”

“You…” Remus could feel his hands shaking, “you’re not going to do that. No.”

“It wasn’t a yes or no question, Remus,” Regulus said sharply. “It was a statement. I’m saying that I’m going to.”

“And I’m saying that you’re not.” The elder stood now, voice firm to hide his fear. All he could see in his mind was Regulus dying, and dying alone, a distraught Kreacher telling him there was nothing he was able to do. “What part of your mind makes you think I would ever be okay with this?”

He knew Remus would be unhappy about his decision. That’s why he was so nervous to tell him. But he never imagined Remus speaking to him like he was now. Remus didn’t demand things or insult his mindset. He scowled, raising his voice slightly as his anger bubbled.

“I would think you wanted to prevent Voldemort from being fucking _immortal_ , but I suppose once things get too hard, your Gryffindor values are tossed aside!”

Those words stabbed Remus in the heart. He raised his voice to match.

“I’m not saying it shouldn’t be done at all! I’m saying it’s not something one can just decide to do. _You_ don’t have to go there!”

Neither of them heard the front door open at first.

“Yes I do! It needs to be me!” Regulus properly shouted now.

“Oi! What’s going on?!” Sirius said loudly, immediately angry at seeing his brother yell at Remus. What he wasn’t expecting was them both glaring at him, Remus’ tone absolutely scathing.

“ _Get out_ , Sirius.”

“Excuse me?” Sirius sneered. “You’re telling me to leave my own flat? Remus—”

“LEAVE.”

Sirius took a step back, eyes wide. It had been three years since he saw Remus that angry and seeing this side of him again so suddenly brought Sirius back to that day, if just for a split second. He conceded.

“Fine! Just finish whatever goddamn fight you’re having sometime soon so I can get on with my day!” He slammed the door on the way out.

“Don’t talk to my brother like that!” Regulus balled his hands into fists.

“ _You’re_ going to say that? I know you’ve been hypocritical, but this is a new one!”

“He has nothing to do with this!”

“OH DOESN’T HE?! What am I supposed to say to him when you don’t come back from whatever self-appointed mission you’re so intent on going on? I’m so sorry Sirius, but your brother is _dead_ and I didn’t stop him because of some sort of what, a nonsensical display of heroism he wanted to uphold?” Remus’ voice broke through his shouting, eyes starting to tear up.

“ _Heroism_?” Regulus wasn’t unaware of the tears, completely cognizant of the pain he was causing. “It isn’t about _heroics_. He went to MY family to do this! He nearly killed Kreacher and it’s my fault! I’m the one he wanted and he can’t have me so he takes my elf instead as if it’s some sort of punishment to my parents,” he laughed spitefully. “On the chance I don’t make it out, maybe then it’ll be a proper punishment for them, knowing they did this.”

Remus’ tears fell fully now.

“ _How dare you_!” He shook in rage. “How dare you say something like that! How little do you care for the rest of our feelings? Me, Sirius, Severus, even James and Lily? Are you going to make us go through that kind of pain?!”

“You’re saying this as if I’m _sure_ to die!” Regulus couldn’t deny the odds were unfavorable. He knew there was a high chance he could die. The pain he was causing Remus was clear to him, and he felt the guilt like a knife. But if everyone was angry at him, maybe… it could hurt them less. “Do you have such little confidence in me, that I won’t be able to succeed?”

“Damn it Regulus, don’t twist my words!” Remus felt his throat hurt from shouting, being so unused to doing so. 

“I’m not twisting your words! It’s exactly what you meant!”

“You said it yourself! You KNOW you might not come back! You’re obviously completely aware of how dangerous this is!”

“Sirius spied on _Voldemort himself_. I didn’t hear you acting like this _then_ _!_ ”

“That was different! This isn’t a mission for the Order. And Sirius didn’t have to act on anything, in fact it was _requested_ he not directly confront them. He wouldn’t be able to do so on his own, just like whatever traps will be there that you’ll be unprepared for!”

“I’ll have Kreacher guiding me through!”

“Oh yes, a house-elf?? How is that even comparable to a fully grown wizard?! It may be too much for someone like even Dumbledore to do alone! I love you too much to just let you walk into death. At least let me go with you!”

Regulus had been preparing something particularly devastating to say, but it got lost as he heard Remus’ offer. He didn’t even consider it a possibility. Yes, he briefly thought about it, but had immediately decided he couldn’t ask Remus to go with him. If indeed he was walking into his own death, he didn’t want to force Remus to walk with him. He didn’t anticipate Remus _offering_ to go.

“You… you would go with me?” he could hardly get the words out now.

“Of course,” Remus wiped his eyes with his sleeve to no avail. The tears continued regardless. “I will beg you every day not to go. But if that won’t work, please at least let me come with you. Maybe…” he needed a few seconds to catch his breath, “maybe we would have a better chance together. You can’t go alone. I can’t lose you like that.”

Despite his efforts, he broke down at the thought. It was just so much. Sirius had put himself in such a dangerous position, terrifying all of them. Now, it was almost certain the most powerful Dark wizard ever known now couldn’t die. And the love of his life wanted to challenge Death himself to try and reverse that. He sat back down, letting his legs give out.

Regulus watched as Remus buried his face in his hands, crying quietly. He felt like he could too, knowing that he was the one who caused this. Did Remus always cry this way? So soft and quiet, rather than loud and tumultuous and ugly like most people, including himself. Carefully, he walked over then knelt at Remus’ feet, gently resting his head on his lap.

“I’m sorry, Remus. For things I said,” he whispered. He didn’t dare try to kiss him. He didn’t think he had the right to, not right now. “I di—”

“Don’t say you didn’t mean any of it.” Remus’ voice was still sharp despite its quietness. “You did.”

Regulus let his hair fall in his face as he hid deeper.

“I shouldn’t have spoken to you that way.”

It felt like ages until Remus spoke again.

“Me neither. I’m sorry for shouting at you.”

“Just… don’t take back anything you said. It was all true and I deserved every bit of it.”

— 

James found Sirius sitting outside the door of his flat. The four of them were supposed to meet up, but he would soon find out that it was going to have to be rescheduled.

“What are you doing out here?” he asked. Sirius shook his head, making a slicing motion with his hand in front of his neck.

“You don’t want to go in there right now.” Sirius’ lips were nearly as pursed as McGonagall’s.

“Why not? You don’t have some sort of infestation?”

“I’ve been momentarily kicked out of my own place so those two can have a little spat.”

“Remus and Regulus?” James said in alarm. “What about?”

“I don’t know. They immediately told me to leave. Well, Remus did. I caught a bit before they noticed me though and it seems like Remus is trying to talk him out of something.”

“Do you think…” James was a bit scared to even put the thought into the universe, “there’s something Dumbledore has made one of them have to do?”

“That could be it…” Sirius sighed. 

Just then, the argument must have escalated, because James and Sirius could hear their voices now, though still not the words.

“Bloody hell I’ve never heard them fight before,” James looked perturbed. “Does it happen often?”

“No. Especially not like this. They only occasionally have their disagreements and are good about working it out. Pretty healthy, I guess. This is really something else. They never shout like this.”

“I don’t think I’ve even heard Remus raise his voice since the Werewolf Incident.”

Sirius tensed as a “ _damn it_ ” leaked through. It sounded like Remus.

“Yeah. It made me think of that,” he said weakly.

“What are you going to do?” James tried to speak gently, knowing how volatile Sirius’ mood must be at the moment.

“Maybe I’ll go visit Severus today,” he grumbled.

James nodded.

“Maybe he’ll know. Either way, I guess he’ll be a nice distraction for you.” He smiled, but felt discomforted nevertheless. Remus was the calmest person he knew. Whatever was happening, it was something big. As soon as he left, he would hold Lily as tightly as he could.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter hurt to write lmao


	10. Stay (In Which Resolutions Are Made)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I legit forgot to post, I'm sorry! It's been... quite a week.

Severus peeked through the window at the knock on the door. He wasn’t expecting anyone today, so usually that meant it was Sirius. Still, he had to be sure. Once he saw it was indeed Sirius, he let him in.

“Late morning?” Sirius asked wryly. Severus still looked like he just got up despite it being past noon already. Still in pyjamas, hair disheveled.

“Yes. I may have worked too late into the night,” he rubbed an eye in an attempt to rid himself of that stubborn sleep. “But I’ve been awake for a while. I was just about to wash up.”

“Sorry for being so unannounced then. Is it okay if I’m just here a while?”

At Sirius’ uncomfortable expression, Severus forced himself more awake.

“What’s happened?”

“Well, I don’t know what it’s about, but Remus and Reggie are having a fight,” he shrugged. “They wouldn’t let me be there.”

“Oh.” This really came as a surprise to Severus. He knew Regulus could get a temper sometimes and how hurtful he could get if he so wanted, though at least Severus knew he didn’t have a violent type of anger. Still, he thought of how meek and soft Remus tended to be and felt a little bad for him, unaware his anger could get comparable. “You can stay if you need.”

“Thanks,” Sirius smiled and gave him a chaste kiss. “Carry on then.”

Sirius sat on Severus’ bed, staring at him as he searched through a drawer looking for a decent clean shirt. His eyes followed the line of his back, up to those graceful shoulders, dark hair delicately brushing against his shoulder blades. Sirius found the whole sight to be downright _pretty_. As he looked closer, he noticed hints of scars. Not nearly to the extent of Remus or anything, but there were still a few.

“Hey, don’t bother with it right now,” he said finally. “Come sit with me a moment.”

“But-” Severus so slightly curled into himself, a motion that screamed self-consciousness. Being in his own house, he momentarily forgot to have a sense of propriety. Even if Sirius was the only one with him.

“Please?”

Severus hesitated, but ultimately complied. He didn’t want his self-esteem issues to affect this relationship, as difficult as it was going to be for him to push through. It was just so hard to wrap his head around the fact that someone actually wanted to look at him.

Sirius wrapped his arms around his waist from behind, leaning forward enough to press their cheeks together. Severus closed his eyes, deeply relaxing into it and allowing himself to enjoy the contact. After a moment, Sirius kissed his cheek, then his jawline, then neck as he slowly pulled away. Severus opened his eyes at this, about to protest, but then Sirius placed a hand softly on his back.

“Where are these from?” Sirius asked quietly, realizing now there were somewhat more scars than he thought before, they were just small and very faint. They weren’t noticeable unless you got very close.

“It varies,” Severus answered stiffly. Sirius moved his hand to a small cluster, trailing his fingers against the other’s skin.

“What about these?”

“Glass. I got caught repairing a chair with magic.” It really had been his mother who did the magic, but he had claimed it was himself and therefore the one punished instead. But he wasn’t going to tell that to Sirius. He imperceptibly gasped as Sirius placed a light kiss on the scars. Normally mundane injuries like that could be completely healed by magic without a trace, but he realized Severus probably couldn’t do anything about it at the time and just needed to let it heal on its own. He knew it was probably the case for most of these. He moved his hand again, this time to a thin scar on Severus’ upper arm.

“This one?”

“I fell and caught the corner of the table in the sitting room,” Severus put a special tone on the word ‘fell’. Sirius’ fingers curled a little in anger at the man whose face he didn’t know. It only heightened at the recollection of when Severus brought Regulus to James’ house. It was clear he’d been hit. But he wasn’t prepared for the scar he was to ask about next. It was on Severus’ side, along his ribs. It looked like it hadn’t healed quite right, meaning the original injury was magical in nature, probably dark. It was narrow and only a couple inches long, but conspicuous nevertheless. Sirius got a sinking feeling.

“This wasn’t…” he didn’t want to finish the thought.

“From the Shrieking Shack,” Severus reeled back his emotions.

“No, but they all said James got you out in time,” Sirius felt sick to his stomach.

“It was certainly in time enough to prevent anything truly bad from happening. It’s only a small claw scratch.”

“Fuck,” Sirius whispered in despair, leaning his forehead on Severus’ shoulder, heart aching.

“Sirius, don’t tell Remus about it. It would kill him to know… he would put all the blame on himself even though it wasn’t his fault. I can’t do that to him.”

“No, it’s mine,” Sirius held him again, voice strangled. “I’m so sorry I did this to you. You deserve better than me, I’m so sorry.”

Everything was momentarily quiet, then Severus froze as he heard quiet, gasping sobs, soon feeling tears fall against his skin. In Severus’ mind, Sirius Black wasn’t someone who cried. Of course that was stupid. He was human after all. Sirius just didn’t show his pain that way. He covered it with other emotions. He knew the sincerity of Sirius’ initial apology and accepted it, knowing he was truly regretful. They had gotten past the whole thing, so he thought. To now see Sirius cry in such remorse shook him to his core. He said nothing, but put a hand over Sirius’ and let him cry as long as he needed to.

Eventually, there was silence.

“Sirius?”

“Yeah?” His voice was weak.

“Are you done?” Severus didn’t sound annoyed, only gentle.

“...Yeah.”

Severus turned around, observing the tear-streaked face. He bit his lip hesitantly, but then shoved Sirius onto his back, kissing him hard as he pinned him down. He pulled away, looking at Sirius with intensity, his grasp on Sirius’ shoulders still tight.

“Sirius, I forgive you.” He softened his expression, then his tone. “I forgive you.”

Sirius breathed deeply and brought his hands up, weaving them through Severus’ hair and looking at him longingly.

“Kiss me,” Severus whispered. Sirius obliged, pulling the other’s head down so that their lips met.

A while later, they were at the table having some tea and a bite to eat now that their emotions had calmed.

“So you really don’t know what they’re arguing about?” Severus asked, brows furrowed.

“No. I just hope they’ll let me know once whatever it is blows over. Or at least Regulus. I’d hope we would be at a place now where we could talk about things like siblings should.”

“I know even less than you do. But perhaps it’s something he thinks you’ll worry about? There are things he would confide in me, sure, but not always, if it was something he thought I would particularly fret about. He avoided telling me about his home situation for a long time.”

“That concerns me even more,” Sirius sighed. “He hasn’t told either of us and Remus is upset…”

“Indeed it is… disconcerting,” Severus’ mind wandered to what Regulus told him about in confidence. About horcruxes. He dearly hoped it had nothing to do with that. He had no real reason to assume so, but it was the worst thing his thoughts could conjure.

“Did you hear any of it?”

“Only a couple things as I was at the door. Remus is trying to stop him from doing something I think.”

“I see.” No, no it couldn’t be what he thought. Unless there was something else he didn’t know about? The sudden apprehension was clear on his face.

“What,” Sirius said sternly. Then he realized, glowering. “You _know_ something.”

“Maybe. I’m not sure. I rather not be correct.”

“ _What is it_?”

“I can’t tell you,” Severus saw the anger rising in Sirius. “ _Dumbledore’s_ orders.”

Sirius stopped himself from whatever he was going to say. 

“Believe me, Sirius, I would prefer to tell you. Dumbledore is probably waiting for the right time.”

“I…” Sirius wavered, “I assume it’s dangerous.”

“Very likely.”

They looked at each other darkly, then both visibly jumped as there was a soft knock on the door. Their expressions turned to confusion before Severus got up to answer it. Sirius followed.

“Remus?”

“I thought you would be here,” said Remus to Sirius. He looked exhausted, but smiled at the two of them nevertheless.

“Speak of the devil,” Severus murmured. “Come in.” 

He stepped aside. Remus nodded a thank you and walked in, Severus shutting the door behind him.

“So are you done?” Sirius asked impatiently.   
“That’s why I’m here,” Remus fidgeted in embarrassment. “I realize we sort of… kicked you out. I wanted to apologize. Regulus feels bad about it too. But yes, we’ve managed to come to an agreement. Sorry you had to hear us.”

“Glad to hear it,” Sirius said. “I haven’t heard you yell like that in a long time.” His mind went back to the conversation with Severus earlier and his complete meltdown. He wasn’t ashamed it happened, he found, only ashamed it hadn’t happened sooner.

Severus had a hard time imagining Remus shouting. What could have possibly happened to bring him to that? The idea only served to back up his previous thoughts. And if _Remus_ was that angry, he couldn’t imagine Regulus’ emotional state. Perhaps anyone would be scared off.

“...Yeah. I’m a little ashamed, really.” But he knew there was no other way to get through to him, despite how sorry he was.

“Can you tell me what happened?”

“No,” Remus shook his head. “At least, not yet.”

“Well it seems like both of you are keeping the same secret again,” Sirius looked at Severus and Remus. “Though I feel as though I’ll be less impressed this time.”

“Don’t worry about it, okay?” Remus gave a reassuring smile the best he could. Sirius was uncertain whether or not he could trust it. Though, even if he didn’t trust the realness of the smile, he still trusted that Remus knew what he was doing and tried to relax.

“So does this mean I can come back to my own flat now?” Sirius managed only a small smile. Remus made an uncertain face.

“Er, technically. I’d still not recommend it. Perhaps you should stay here tonight.”

“And why would that be?” Sirius raised a brow. Remus’ tone was oddly impish.

“Well, to be completely frank, we’re going to be having a lot of make-up sex and figured maybe you would want to stay here tonight instead.”

“ _Merlin_ ,” Sirius exclaimed, more to the void than to Remus, while Severus coughed behind his hand. Remus let out a short, breathy laugh.

“Stay as long as you need, Sirius,” Severus offered.

“Glad you could look after him,” Remus teased. “Er, I hope I wasn’t interrupting anything?” Not that Remus wanted to be interrupting anything, he just happened to note the quick response to the door and both of them looking quite sobered.

“Unfortunately not,” Sirius grinned, finding the opportunity for his verbal vengeance. “Trust me, I was hoping I could finally get him to let me suck him off, but I kinda killed my own mood.”

“I’m sorry, _what_?” Severus turned a pale pink.

“You didn’t have a disagreement, did you?” asked Remus, going out of his way to ignore the other part of what Sirius said, knowing exactly what game he was playing.

“No, he just got caught up talking about his feelings,” Severus said matter-of-factly, but the tinge of pink was still on his cheeks. Sirius waved it off, now irritated that apparently Remus can just let suggestive comments bounce off him. Remus was going to be happy if it was true, though, if they had that sort of conversation. He knew that was something Sirius had difficulty with.

“Did he now? He really must love you, then,” Remus grinned amusedly at Sirius’ flustered stammers.

“I don’t know what I did to deserve it,” Severus smirked, leaving his statement ambiguous. Remus laughed.

“So, I’ll see you tomorrow then?” he asked Sirius.

“Yeah.”

Once Remus left, Severus turned to Sirius.

“Remus can shout?”

Sirius nearly snorted as he laughed.

“This is the second time in my life I’ve ever heard him truly do so and believe me, be glad you weren’t on the receiving end.”

Severus didn’t have to be told to know exactly what the circumstances were the first time. He assumed that’s what brought all those emotions to the foreground. But he didn’t want to think about it now. He internally shook it off and wrapped his arms around Sirius’ waist, resting his head against his shoulder. Severus thought about what Remus had said, and felt his breath hitch, though not in a negative way. Perhaps Sirius’ feelings really were that genuine.

“Sirius.”

“Yeah?” Sirius softly kissed his temple.

Severus kissed Sirius’ neck, satisfied at the little gasp as he made his way to the other’s ear.

“Were you being serious before or just trying to get a reaction from Remus? What you said you wanted to do…”

“It was both,” Sirius’ fiddled with the hem of Severus’ shirt. “I know you feel apprehensive. Dunno what I have to do to improve your self confidence. And it’s not just about me wanting to get in your pants. I will wait as long as you need to be comfortable. It’s the _reason_ that bothers me. You’re so uncomfortable in your own skin and I wish I could make you understand just how attractive you are to me.”

“Factually, I know,” Severus tightened his grip ever so slightly. “You’ve told me many times. It’s just difficult to… for me to internalize it. I promise it isn’t you. I’ll try harder. I’ve just had a lot of other things on my mind recently.”

He heard Sirius let out a deep breath.

“It’s about whatever Remus and Reggie are involving themselves in, isn’t it?”

“Yes,” his voice was a near whisper. “If it’s what I think, things may be much more difficult for the Order than the rest of you realize. We’ll be wholly unprepared.”

  
  


— 

Regulus’ face was tight as he stared at the book’s illustration. He was sitting at a writing desk in the sitting room, book open to Slytherin’s Locket next to a gold object that was starting to look like it.

“Having trouble?” Remus asked in concern as he poured a cup of chamomile.

“Yeah. You said Sirius wouldn’t be home tonight, right?” He was concerned that his brother would suddenly show up and see what he was working on. Sirius would be so much better at this too, in Regulus’ opinion.

“Right. Trust me, he’s not going to risk it.”

Regulus turned to him, brows furrowed.

“What _did_ you tell him?”

“Oh, that we’ll be having copious amounts of make-up sex,” Remus smirked.

Regulus started laughing.

“Well, I hope that wasn’t a complete lie!”

“As long as you’re up for it. Now, what’s the issue?” Remus came over to look at the progress.

“I’ve nearly got it. It’s the little hinge that’s the tricky part. It’s difficult to make it functional.”

“Does it matter though? It looks accurate enough, that’s the important part.”

“Yes but I sort of want to take advantage of the fact that it’s a locket and stick a little ‘fuck you’ note inside it.”

“Of course you would,” Remus snickered through his nose, but then became uneasy again. “You know, we’re going to have to tell someone what we’re doing. In case… we don’t come back.”

“I know. I figured we would tell Severus before we leave since he’s the one who already knows about the possibility of a horcrux. But not earlier than necessary. I don’t want to risk him telling anyone before we’ve left.”

“Yes. It was clear to me today that he hasn’t told Sirius. But this is something completely different. I understand why it must be confined to a few people, but I think at least Sirius should know.”

“Ah, I’ve got it, I think,” Regulus opened and closed the fake-locket, making sure it clasped well enough. As he got out a small piece of parchment and started writing, Remus sat on the sofa, curled up loosely.

Once he was finished, he turned to find Remus, feeling a touch of guilt seeing him sitting like that. Remus wasn’t one to pout, but a hint of one was clear on his face. Regulus realized after considering it a moment he had disregarded what he was saying and was probably a little miffed.

“Sorry. I suppose I was too focused,” he said, leaning down to kiss Remus’ temple.

“Have you finished everything?”

“I have.”

It was clear to Regulus that Remus was fighting back words, which he expected would be more pleas to not go. Instead, Remus pulled him down into a rough kiss. Regulus immediately climbed on top of him, only breaking apart due to Remus letting out a small gasp. Taking the opportunity, Remus moved down to his neck, little kisses slowly turning into something more heavy, teeth grazing against soft, pale skin. Regulus melted as he let out a whimper; Remus knew Regulus loved when he did that, though he could never understand why. He did so again, feeling satisfaction of Regulus lightly bucking against him. Their lips met again, tongues intertwined as hands grasped desperately for hair and cloth, indecisive of where they wanted to be as they wanted to be everywhere at once.

Regulus clumsily got off the sofa, pulling Remus along with him. They refused to let go of each other, stumbling their way and crashing into the writing desk, nearly knocking off the fake-locket, some spare bit of parchment falling to ground alongside the chair. They gasped for breath, Regulus hastily undoing the buttons of Remus’ shirt. It wasn’t quite fair as Remus was concerned, as Regulus wearing long robes. He tugged at them, words not forming.

They finally fumbled to the bedroom, where, getting the hint, Regulus pulled his robes off, no one bothering to shut the door. They wouldn’t have done so if they thought there was any chance anyone would show up, but nevertheless, leaving it open added some feeling of illicitness. There was another crashing of mouths as Regulus helped remove Remus’ trousers, all their clothes left to the floor. Regulus let his mouth and hands wander… he felt he knew every bit of Remus, but this time, he wanted to revel in every touch as if it would be the last.

“ _Oh God_ ,” Remus whispered, his grip tightening. “You’re not going to be able to walk when we’re done.”

Regulus kissed his jaw, tongue teasing against his skin.

“That’s not going to make me stay.”

Remus’ hand shook slightly.

“Figured not.”

He pinned Regulus down onto his back.

“I want to be able to look at you,” Remus said, gently caressing his thigh.

“Yes.” 

They didn’t concern themselves this time with any charms on the room. If any neighbors heard them, they didn’t care.


	11. Young Master's Order (In Which One's Resolve Is Tested)

Severus looked up from his notes at the knock on the door. He hadn’t been expecting anyone and hoped Sirius wasn’t in some sort of domestic predicament again. Still, he quickly put his notes away and answered.

“Oh.” He couldn’t stop his surprise when he saw Regulus and Remus. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

As he let them in, he realized he never actually had both of them there at the same time before. Not that it was particularly important, he just thought it a curious thing that crossed his mind. It only served to make him more inquisitive about what the occasion was. However, as he looked to them for an answer, something really didn’t feel right.

“So I assume I’m about to find out what you’ve been scheming. Does Sirius know you’re here?”

“No,” answered Remus. “We just told him… we were heading out for a bit.”

“And?”

Remus took a shaky breath, hardly able to look Severus in the eye, but forced himself anyway.

“I begged him not to, Severus. The only other thing I’m able to do is go with him.” He felt guilt at the other’s increasing fear. “And do my best to make sure he gets out.”

“Out of _where_ , Regulus?” Severus hissed.

“You have to tell him. This is on you,” Remus told Regulus resolutely, eyes more intense than Severus had ever seen.

Despite the screaming fear inside him, Regulus put on a stoic face.

“Voldemort. He’s made one,” he said. “A horcrux.”

Of all things Severus wished to be wrong about, this was the worst. He put a hand on the back of a chair to keep balance as he felt a weakness in his legs.

“And I assume… you’re off to retrieve it,” he barely managed. It was the only reason they could be telling him about it now. “And that it’s an undoubtedly high risk, if it caused such a fight between you.”

“Yes.”

Severus momentarily closed his eyes, trying to get a hold of his bearings.

“If Remus couldn’t stop you, I imagine anything I have to say will fall on deaf ears. Please, don’t do anything that will get you killed.”

“This needs to be a success, for all our sakes. I’m not going in hoping to die, Sev.” Regulus pulled him into a warm and fervid embrace. “But please, just in case, please tell my brother I love him, okay?”

Severus returned the hug, a hand placed gently at the back of Regulus’ head, stroking his hair softly.

“You tell him yourself when you get back.”

Remus let them have this moment. He had wanted to hug Sirius like it would be the last time, but he knew Sirius would catch on and try to keep them from leaving. Assuming they will return, he would make up for it then. But for now, he wasn’t going to deprive Regulus of this.

They soon parted and Severus’ gaze fell to Remus.

“You better come back. It won’t fall on me to tell Sirius that his brother and best friend are both dead.” 

Severus spoke calmly, but inside felt like he was falling apart at the thought. 

“Well,” Regulus said weakly, “we’ll see you later, I hope.”

Just a few seconds after they Disapparated, so did Severus, Apparating into Sirius’ entryway.

“Severus! You usually knock,” Sirius walked out of the kitchen with a smile, but it was immediately wiped from his face. “What is it?”

“We need to go to the castle.”

“Why?” he was afraid to say it, but he knew. “They’ve done something, haven’t they?”

“Yes,” Severus clutched Sirius’ shirt with both his hands, practically manic. “Sirius, we need to go to the castle and tell Dumbledore.”

“Okay, _okay_.” Sirius frantically got his shoes on. “I take it I’ll get an explanation when we’re there?”

“Yes, are you ready?”

“Yeah.”

They Apparated to Hogsmeade, Severus inwardly cursing the fact they couldn’t Apparate any closer. They ran to the castle, Sirius struggling to keep up. He never knew how _fast_ Severus was. Perhaps it was purely adrenaline.

Once getting in the castle, they ran past Filch’s attempted admonishment, hardly noticing the few students who stayed behind during the break. They were finally forced to stop when they found Professor McGonagall in the Gargoyle Corridor, but seeing their desperation, she needed no explanation and guided them to the Headmaster’s office.

Dumbledore stood from his desk once they entered the office, a flicker of disappointment on his otherwise calm face.

“I assume, Sirius, this has to do with your brother?”

“Yes, but I don’t know what,” Sirius shot a fearful look at Severus, who now rushed forward, hands firmly on the desk.

“Sir, the Dark Lord,” in his horror, he forgot to call him anything otherwise. He spoke frantically. “He’s made a horcrux. And Regulus… Regulus has gone after it. Remus has gone with him. There isn’t a way for me to know where they’ve gone, but they were afraid they might not return. Do you _know_ anything about this?”

“Will someone please explain to me what’s actually happening?” Sirius said loudly.

Dumbledore nodded, solemn.

“I was afraid something like this may happen. Alas, my knowledge of where they could have gone is no greater than yours, Severus.”

Severus curled his fingers up into fists, still hard against the Headmaster’s desk.

“I understand,” he breathed deeply, then glanced at Sirius before looking to Dumbledore again. “He needs to know.”

“Unfortunately so. You may proceed.”

Severus led Sirius to the nearby Chesterfield so they could sit.

As everything was explained as far as Severus’ knowledge went, Sirius buried his head in his hands deeper and deeper.

“How… did Regulus figure out one was made?” he finally asked.

“He didn’t tell me. Only that it happened,” Severus now looked to Dumbledore. “My question is why the Headmaster was expecting something like this.”

“Just before the holiday began, Regulus had apparently gone to Professor Slughorn with questions pertaining to horcruxes,” Dumbledore explained. “The Professor found it wise to tell me. While there was no indication he was going to do something, Horace nevertheless found it unsettling enough to mention it. There is also the matter of unusual conversations with Phineas Nigellus.”

“What?” Sirius said. “What did _he_ say?”

The man seemed to have heard his name, as Phineas Nigellus appeared in his portrait.

“What are you calling me for Dumbledore? I was in the middle of—” but the portrait stopped short. “Sirius?”

Sirius didn’t respond, instead just giving his relative a scowl. Phineas decided to continue after the initial surprise of seeing his other great-great-grandson for the first time in three years.

“Maybe you can answer then, Sirius, why your parents are currently unable to call their house elf, who seems to have left the house he is meant to be serving.”

“Excuse me?”

“We are taking it to mean either he is somehow dead, or is currently under _someone else’s_ orders.”

“Reggie,” the realization hit him.

“Yes,” said Dumbledore. “That is where the evidence seems to lead.”

“Explain yourself,” Sirius growled at Phineas.

He did so, from Voldemort’s request, to Regulus’ lines of questioning. Between all their information, it started to come together.

“But what are we supposed to do?! We still have no way of knowing _where_ they went.”

“I… don’t think there’s anything we can do except wait,” Severus said quietly. “At least for now.” Trying to be reassuring to Sirius, but also to try and ease his own anxiety, he took his hand.

— 

The strong wind assaulted them as they Apparated to the seaside cave, the mist of the crashing waves cold against their faces.

“Why here?” asked Remus, feeling a shiver go through him.

“I don’t know. Kreacher, where now?”

The elf led them to what appeared to just be normal stone, part of the formation. But now that it was pointed out to him, Regulus could sense ever so faintly a hint of magic. It was so faint, he thought he wouldn’t have noticed if his attention hadn’t been brought to it. Kreacher gave a small whimper, fidgeting his little hands.

“How do we open it?” Regulus could tell Kreacher was hesitant to tell him.

“A blood payment, sir.”

“Thank you.” He got out his wand, but Remus quickly grabbed his wrist.

“No, I’ll do it. If you’re the one dealing with the locket itself, at least let me do this.”

Regulus clenched his jaw, wanting to argue, but nevertheless put his wand away.

“Fine, but I won’t like it.”

“I don’t like any of this. But you doing this all on your own I like less.” Remus carefully used a spell to slice his palm. The moment he touched his hand to the stone, the hidden door opened. He whispered _ferula_ , causing bandages to wrap around his hand.

Even though it was daytime, they lit their wands, knowing the cave would be dark as they walked in. However, the darkness was so heavy as to be artificial, the glow of _lumos_ barely lighting their faces. Across the black lake, they could see a soft green glow. Clearly, that’s where the horcrux was. Carefully, Regulus stepped to the edge of the water. He felt his skin crawl.

“There are Inferi in here.”

“I suppose swimming would be too easy,” Remus muttered. As he looked at the sickly bodies floating beneath the water, he thought it was an unspeakably cruel thing. They were people once, stripped from life, but deprived of a real death, forever in this in-between state. It was a mockery of death by the man who sought eternal life for himself. “And I can only assume a Summoning Charm won’t work.”

“Probably not, I rather not find out what happens if we try. Kreacher, how do we get across?”

“A boat, sir.” Kreacher walked several paces down from where they were along the shore, stopping hesitantly. He paced around a little more, uncertain of the exact location.

“Hidden too.” Regulus walked over, Remus following closely. He concentrated deeply, trying to remember the feeling of the hidden magic outside. He felt around the ground, getting a little closer until finally, he grabbed a chain, which became visible once he took hold of it. His eyes followed it, finding the boat along the shore. He took a deep breath, feeling the fake-locket in his robes. “This is it.”

“Yeah…” Remus flinched as he accidentally looked at the Inferi once more.

He helped Regulus get in the boat, but once he tried to get in himself, it was like an electric shock went through him. He took a step back, face falling.

“What is it?” Regulus asked sternly.

“I… it won’t let me.” He touched the boat again, but was still blocked from getting in. He felt a numbness course through his body. “It only allows one person.”

Regulus looked at Kreacher, who was able to get in just fine, then back at Remus, brows furrowed as a panic started to rise in his chest. “But Kreacher…”

“...is not a human,” Remus finished. He felt slightly nauseated. Of all times for his humanity to be recognized. He huffed. “ _Now_ a werewolf is fully human?” His voice lowered to a whisper. “It isn’t too late to stop.”

Regulus leaned over the side of the boat, pulling Remus into a rough kiss.

“Watch over us from over here. Kreacher will help me drink the potion. If anything happens, do what you can.”

Remus was reluctant to let go, but did when Regulus pulled away.

“I’ll be right here,” he said, defeated, then watched as the two sailed across the lake to the glowing basin. He kept his wand out, alert.

Once getting to the opposite shore, Regulus took the fake-locket out and gave it to Kreacher.

“Kreacher, I need you to switch the real locket with this one once I finish the potion. Then immediately bring the real one to Dumbledore at Hogwarts, okay?” He knew that Voldemort’s underestimation of elves was really the only thing making this possible in the first place. If they got out, he knew he wanted to do something very nice for Kreacher.

“Yes, Master Regulus,” the elf croaked, eyes misting over.

Regulus looked at the basin, heart pounding as he saw the real locket underneath the unknown potion. Kreacher had told him it did not harm physically, but gave the drinker visions of terrible things. He supposed it was more intuitive that way. One could make the drinker suffer longer, rather than harmed too quickly. Bracing himself, he took the shell that was provided and filled it, putting it up to his lips. It didn’t taste like much at first, but as he drank, had an aftertaste that was like a mixture of something metallic but also sickly sweet. He grasped the edge of the basin, balancing himself.

Guilt wracked his heart.

_Regulus’ face twitched ever so slightly as he watched his mother slap Sirius across the face. He was barely ten, hiding in the hall. He had never seen them that angry before. Sirius came home for Christmas during what was his first year at Hogwarts._

_“You did this on purpose to spite us!” his mother was shouting._

_“And what if I did??” Sirius’ eyes were burning in defiance, his new Gryffindor scarf hanging loose on his shoulders. “You’re mad if you think I want to end up like the rest of you!”_

_With a bright smile, Sirius ran up to Regulus in the corridor._

_“Reggie! It’s not surprising you got Slytherin, but hey, you want to meet my friends? They’re really cool.”_

_Regulus tensed, memory flashing to his mother. He forced his expression into a scowl._

_“Right, as if I would want to be around your blood traitor friends.” He turned and stalked off, trying to ignore his brother’s crestfallen face._

Lip trembling, he filled the shell with potion again, forcing it down.

_He felt a mix of emotions as he sat beside Severus, who was holding his head in his hands. He had never seen Severus so distraught before, and it hurt him so much to see. Regulus put an arm around him softly almost daring to let himself rest his head on Severus’ shoulder. He was the worst sort of person. Sev had a fight with the mudblood girl, who broke off their friendship. He tried to bury it deep, but he felt a sick satisfaction at the fact. What did Sev need_ her _for? Regulus was right here. Pureblood, who would do practically anything for him, not mind his fascination with the Dark Arts. Admire it, even. He really was the worst. A wretched thing._

_Sirius was hunched on the floor, tears at the corner of his eyes as Bellatrix cackled. Regulus was frozen in fear as he watched—_ He whimpered, crouching onto the ground. He didn’t want to see the rest.

Kreacher paced nervously, but then urged the potion back to his master’s mouth.

“Kreacher must follow Young Master’s order, sir.”

_He felt lightheaded and clammy as he saw his brother unconscious on the floor. This couldn’t be right. Was it? Was it supposed to be this way? Was this how it was for those who followed the Dark Lord? Sirius stirred, and Regulus thought he should go to him. That was his brother and he should go to him and help him. Go. Do something. HELP HIM. His inner voice screamed at him, but he turned the other direction, hiding in the corner of his room. He covered his ears, trying to block out the real screaming. The screaming turned quiet for a while, but just when he thought it may be safe, the quiet turned to shouting. It was so loud in his heart he couldn’t tell which voice was his mother and which was Sirius. It was all just so loud._

_They passed each other in the Great Hall and never before had Regulus seen such a look of pure loathing from his brother. No. He wasn’t his b… he wasn’t—_

He knelt, hands on the ground as he gasped for air, hardly noticing his tears dripping furiously.

“Sirius… I’m so sorry Sirius,” he choked out through strangled cries. With reluctance, Kreacher filled the potion once more, urging it toward Regulus.

“Master must drink…”

_He was now the one on the floor, his ribs digging into the stairs. There were voices, his mother and Bellatrix he assumed, but they were muffled through the white-hot pain. The memories began to melt together. He deserved this. Not for leaving, no. For staying so long. He’s the one who abandoned Sirius. He let another Cruciatus Curse hit him. For the unkindnesses he spoke. For not really being there, truly in sincerity, for the people he loved most. He deserved this pain._

Regulus forced himself up, using the basin to carry his weight. He thought he might retch from the effort, but he grabbed the shell from Kreacher, filling it up with the last bit of the potion, and forced himself to drink. He kept consciousness enough to see Kreacher switch the lockets and Disapparate before everything went black.

“Reg?” Remus’ voice wavered. “Regulus!”

Panic rose in his chest as he watched the faraway body hit the cave floor. His throat hurt from the lump that had formed as he had watched Regulus kneel over in pain, but was too afraid to look away even for a moment. But now… his mind was spinning, trying to fathom any way he could get over to him. He paced the shore, a small whimper escaping, knuckles white as he gripped his wand. Suddenly, a stirring. He had no time for relief as Regulus went to the shore, fingers dipping into the blackness of the lake.

He felt as though his blood drained from his body as he saw a hand raise out of the water, grabbing Regulus by the forearm. He tried to let out a scream, but no sound came out. No. No no no. Focus.

Remus’ wand erupted in a rush of intense flames, soaring over the lake to the group of Inferi climbing out of the water, trying to drag Regulus under. They immediately retreated, and Regulus seemed to have gotten his senses back.

“GET IN THE BOAT,” Remus shouted. It took a few seconds for Regulus to comprehend what was said, his mind still vaguely fuzzy, but he then scrambled to the boat, which started floating back to the other side of the lake. However, this was not to stop the Inferi. More tried to climb over the boat, but Remus kept sending more streams of fire in an attempt to keep them away. His eyes burned from the smoke, but he kept on.

He helped Regulus out, and it was quickly clear he was having difficulty walking. Remus propped him up, getting them both farther away from the shore. The Inferi tried to follow, so Remus conjured a wall of flames, separating them from the Inferi as much as he could.

“ _Shit_ ,” Remus seethed under his breath as he found the doorway had closed again. Still holding Regulus with one arm, he removed the bandages on his other hand with his teeth, glancing over to make sure the fire was still active. It was starting to fade. He swore again, and reopened his wound, pressing it against the cave wall.

Soon, they breathed in the cool ocean air and Disapparated.

— 

Sirius was curled up, head resting against Severus’ shoulder as they waited. Dumbledore was deep in thought at his desk, clearly trying to figure something out, while Phineas Nigellus paced in his frame. Severus noticed he disappeared to 12 Grimmauld Place a couple times, but soon came back. There was silence between them, the room filled only with the light whirring of various instruments and the occasional cooing from Fawkes. 

Besides Dumbledore, they all jumped at the sudden crack of an elf’s Apparition. The Headmaster stood, gaze landing on the locket being held by spindly, shaking hands.

“Kreacher!” Sirius stumbled off the sofa and knelt next to the elf, eyes wide. Severus stood in anticipation. “Where are they??”

“Master Regulus ordered Kreacher to give the locket to Dumbledore right away.” He reached up with his tiny arms to hand it over. Dumbledore took it gently, placing it on his desk with care.

“Thank you, Kreacher,” Dumbledore nodded. “Now, what of your master?”

He whimpered.

“The Young Master and the half-breed are still in the cave, sir.”

Both Severus and Sirius glowered.

“Don’t you bloody call Remus that!” Sirius spat. Kreacher shot him a dirty look.

“Former Master always had the same temper as the Mistress.”

“Which cave?” asked Severus, trying to de-escalate them.

“The cave the Dark Lord first brought Kreacher in order to hide his precious locket. Kreacher knows not where.”

“Are they _okay?"_ Sirius insisted. But the elf only glared at him again, making him growl. “Severus, please ask him.”

“Severus!” Kreacher’s eyes widened in realization, still teary. “Young Master’s most beloved friend.”

Severus wasn’t sure what to say as the elf took one of his hands, looking up at him, distraught.

“Kreacher knows not if they will make it past the Inferi.”

“Inferi…” He shuddered at the thought, but wanted to believe that was something they would be able to handle. He knew at least Remus was aware of how to deal with an Inferius. But more than one… how many were there?

“What were your orders?” Phineas Nigellus demanded.

“Kreacher must help Master Regulus through the Dark Lord’s defenses, sir, then bring the real locket to Dumbledore immediately, sir.”

As everyone else’s eyes were on the elf, no one noticed Dumbledore have a look of realization.

Sirius wanted to be able to blame Kreacher for leaving them there, but held his tongue. Regulus obviously didn’t give him a chance to help them afterward, prioritizing the horcrux over anything else.

“Wait,” said Phineas, stepping back and looking over his shoulder. A few seconds later, he turned back to the office. “Kreacher, you have completed Regulus’ orders. Go home now.”

The elf nodded, unable to argue, and Disapparated back to 12 Grimmauld Place.

Sirius sat back down, body tense and face filled with terror. Severus sat beside him, holding him gently. Just like that, it was quiet again, this time with the soft jingling of chains as Dumbledore examined Slytherin’s Locket.

Suddenly they all jumped again as the door burst open, Remus and Regulus coming through. They collapsed to the ground in exhaustion, dirtied by sweat and soot. Regulus was ashen, looking deathly in his black robes, only heightened by the warm light coming through the windows. Dumbledore, Sirius, and Severus all stood, rushing to them.

“Sirius?” Regulus managed, voice weak. “And Sev…”

Sirius fell to his knees, pulling his brother close to him, shaking as he started to cry in relief. Once Regulus realized this, he wrapped his arm around him, sinking into the embrace, letting himself rest against him.

“Don’t scare me like that alright?” Sirius choked out. “I thought I really might have lost you.”

“I’m sorry.” Regulus closed his eyes, brows furrowed as he burrowed himself closer. “I won’t leave you like that again.”

Severus knelt next to Remus.

“You were able to bring him back. I’m glad you’re both alright.”

One corner of Remus’ lips twitched into a brief smile.

“You’re injured,” said Sirius as he finally pulled away. Severus immediately went over, Sirius moving over to give him room. They didn’t see Dumbledore send Fawkes out the door.

“Let me look,” Severus requested. Regulus pulled up his sleeves, revealing bruised and broken skin where the Inferi had grabbed him. It was worse than Regulus had initially thought. He checked his legs as well, which had been stinging more than anything. They were the same. Severus nearly looked away, seeing the vague outlines of handprints. He got out his wand, muttering incantations under his breath, the wounds slowly closing and the bruises lightening somewhat. It wasn’t perfect, but it was the best he could do at the moment. His eyes trailed then to Regulus’ upper arm, where a swath of fabric and skin was singed. “You’ve got a burn.”

Remus’ heart sank.

“I-I’m so sorry. It’s my fault.” He bit his lip. “I tried to avoid hitting you, I really did. I’m so sorry.”

“Remus, stop,” Regulus said as Severus started on the burn. “You saved my life. I’ll take a burn over drowning.”

“I was unable to heal everything completely. But I did what I could until you can get some proper care.” Severus then looked to Remus, where he saw the bloodied hand. “You’re injured as well.”

“It’s fine.”

But Severus held his hand out expectantly. Remus complied.

“What the bloody hell did you do to it?” Severus grumbled as he cleaned the torn up palm.

“Thank you,” he said quietly, taking the question as hypothetical.

“Can you stand?”

“Yeah. I was just tired.”

Severus nodded and stood, helping Remus up as well.

“And you Regulus?” He had more worry in his tone, having seen the extent of the injuries.

“I… I think so?”

It took more effort, but Severus was able to help Regulus stand. Once he did, he seemed to be alright enough.

Sirius rushed over to Remus, hugging him tightly. Remus returned it just as fiercely, remembering the promise to himself to do so.

“What were you both thinking, going off like that??”

“I’m sorry for not telling you, Sirius. I tried to convince him not to go… we didn’t want you to worry for longer than necessary.”

“You could have died and no one would know where you were!”

“I know. But we’re here. We won’t do something like this again.”

Regulus took one of Severus’ hands in both of his own.

“I’m glad… you and Sirius are here.” He offered a wavering smile.

“It was very close, wasn’t it Regulus?” Severus curled his fingers. “You almost didn’t make it.”

“Yes.”  
  
“If Remus wasn’t there…”

“I would be gone.” Regulus tried to blink away tears. “Severus, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for anything I’ve ever put you through. All the times I should have done more for you.”

“I don’t understand. What-”

They all finally noticed when Fawkes flew back into the office, landing gracefully on the Headmaster’s arm.

“I’m afraid it’s time to say some goodbyes, if just for a moment,” said Dumbledore. “As you can imagine, we have some things to discuss. You may stay in the castle tonight if you wish, Sirius.”

Sirius nodded.

“Hey, come find me when you can, alright?” He smiled at Regulus, who then gave him one more hug.

“Remus,” Severus addressed solemnly.

“Y-yes?”

There was some hesitation at first, but then he stepped forward and lightly embraced Remus.

“Thank you.”

“There’s no need.” Remus smiled, giving him a little squeeze. Severus stepped back, huffing sarcastically.

“Merlin, you smell like wet dog.”

Remus nearly snorted.

“Sorry.”

“Both of you just… don’t push yourselves for now.”

“Sirius!” called Phineas Nigellus as Sirius and Severus were on their way out.

“What do _you_ want?” he glared.

“Really?” Phineas looked between him and Severus. “After everything, a Slytherin?”

Severus let out a laugh.

“He has a point.”

Sirius gaped at Phineas.

“Oh shut up.” He put an arm around Severus as they walked off.

Remus and Regulus sat across from Dumbledore, staring nervously at the desk as he waited for him to speak. They had no idea whether they would be told off and to what degree. Phineas Nigellus watched them curiously.

“It was a very brave, but very foolish thing you did,” Dumbledore said. He was calm, but nevertheless had a hint of terseness.

“Yes, sir,” Regulus whispered.

“It is my understanding that Remus at least gave an attempt at convincing you to reconsider.” He turned to Remus. “And I must commend you on that. However, it would have been better for both of you to come to me.”

They both nodded.

“Now, please tell me everything.”

So they did. They told everything from finding out about Kreacher’s orders, to Regulus researching the Founders, to all the events that happened in the cave.

“Make no mistake. By no means do I wish to encourage this sort of thing without consulting me first, but it really is an incredible thing you both did. It took much skill and cunning to pull off such a feat. And Remus, not many wizards could stave off an entire hoard of Inferi.”

“Thank you, sir. But I didn’t do anything special,” Remus muttered.

“Nothing special?” Regulus rounded on him. “How many times am I going to have to say that you saved my life? I’d say that’s fairly significant!”

“As if it would ever be a choice for me. If it came to there being no other way, I would give my life for yours without question.”

"Don't you say stupid things like that!" Regulus' eyes misted over. "I'm not worth it."

Remus wanted to argue, but that thought was just so ridiculous, he didn't know _how_ to argue against it. He realized then, it must have come from things Regulus must have seen when drinking that potion.

“Yes you are, love.”

Regulus bit his lip, keeping in the tirade in his mind. It wasn’t the time.

The door opened once more, this time revealing Madame Pomfrey.

“Ah, Poppy. Perfect timing.” Dumbledore smiled.

“Yes, I rather not watch another drama unfold,” Phineas grumbled. Both Remus and Regulus immediately became more sheepish.

“I think you’ll find that some of your work has already been done, courtesy of our friend Severus. Nevertheless, it would be good for them to visit the hospital wing. I recommend that Regulus stay a couple nights. We don’t know of any possible lasting effects of what you went through. I imagine you will be free to leave after a quick check-in, Remus, but like Sirius, you are free to stay until Regulus is released.”

“Yes, sir.”

Once they were gone, Dumbledore picked up the horcrux once more, examining it curiously.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is quite the big one, but it's one of my favorites. I hope I did the cave scene any justice ;v;


	12. A Particular Memory (In Which Regulus is Given a Mission)

Regulus stared at his Transfiguration textbook with a tight expression. Having been in the hospital wing, he missed the first few days back from the holiday and was now ruminating on the reading he had to catch up on. Honestly, he thought he stayed there longer than he really needed to, but both Madam Pomfrey and Dumbledore insisted on it. Remus, Sirius, and Severus visited him every day, Remus always staying the longest. Once they heard, James and Lily also came to see him, leaving some homemade treats courtesy Mrs. Potter. Pandora and Xenophilius also visited once the Headmaster informed Pandora that he would be gone a few days, explaining where he was. They gave him a vase of flowers, which were strange looking, but he appreciated it all the same.

“Would you like to borrow my notes?” Pandora asked. She was smiling, but there was still a hint of concern on her face. He wasn’t allowed to explain what happened to anyone outside the Order, so she had to accept his simple explanation that he got injured and that Hogwarts happened to be more convenient than St. Mungo’s in this instance.

“If… if it isn’t an inconvenience to you. Thanks.” He returned the smile.

“Are you really alright?” Her eyes trailed to the bandages peeking out from under his sleeve.

“I’m fine, really. Don’t worry about me.”

“At least you’re looking better. You were looking pretty terrible, you know.”

Regulus chuckled. He appreciated her straight-forward nature.

“Oh I’m sure. I bet I looked like a walking corpse.”

“I mean, sort of.”

“Felt like it, too. Anyway, thank you for the notes.”

“How are your injuries?” asked Akram as they sat in the common room. He had been in a complete panic when Regulus came back.

“Much better. They’ve mostly gone away.” His arms were almost healed, but his legs were taking longer, as the injuries there had been worse. It made walking for too long a pain, but at least it wouldn’t affect his flying. “I’ll have a cool scar though!”

With a crooked grin, he rolled his sleeve up to show the burn scar on his arm. It was nearly completely healed as well, but there was still a remnant of it. He knew Remus would feel guilty about it, but in his mind, it was a reminder of how he would have been dead otherwise.

“Awesome! Was it cursed fire?”

“Oh, no. It was still magic though, which is why it’s not completely gone. Cursed fire would have been much worse.”

“That reminds me, actually. Apparently Dumbledore is having the lessons in Defense Against the Dark Arts adjusted somewhat. It’s what I heard at least.”

“Really?” Regulus felt a nervousness creep into him. It was the timing of it. “How so?”

“He’s having Priddy teach us about Dementors and Inferi a year early.”

He felt a chill course through him. This was definitely due to the information gathered over the past few months. His own actions probably solidified the idea.

“Regulus.” Akram became more serious now. “This… this has to do with You-Know-Who, doesn’t it?”

“I imagine so,” he said quietly. He forced a smile. “If you ever need help when it comes to either of those, you can ask me. Those are the two Dark creatures I’m most well-versed in, aside maybe werewolves.”

“Thanks.” Akram nodded. He thought the Patronus Charm seemed really difficult.

“So,” Regulus said after a bout of silence, “how’s Ella?”

“F-fine!” The boy turned red.

“I heard she’s muggleborn.”

“Yeah so?”

Regulus laughed.

“You really are like my cousin Andromeda.”

“How is it?” Regulus gently took Remus’ hand as they were cuddled together in the Room of Requirement. The scar was so faint, it could hardly be seen at all.

“Perfectly fine. Nothing some dittany couldn’t handle. It’ll be completely gone soon, and there’s no pain,” Remus said encouragingly. Regulus lifted the hand to his lips, kissing it softly.

“That’s good. I’m sorry I’m not up for anything today. Mentally yes, but physically it was tiring to even walk here.”

“It’s alright.” Remus wrapped his arms around Regulus’ waist and rested his head on his shoulder. They both were to meet with Dumbledore outside the Order, but Remus arrived early so they could spend some time alone, even if it was just being in each other’s company.

“What is it?” Regulus asked after a while, seeing an amused smile play at Remus’ lips.

“I’m just thinking about Professor McGonagall’s face when she saw Sirius kiss Severus while he was staying in the castle. Probably a huge shock after all the times she had to give us detention for fighting with him, especially Sirius and James.”

“That was pretty funny,” he snickered. “People were only mildly surprised at us. We didn’t have quite the same past. Yeah, you’re one of my brother’s best mates, but I never fought with you. Plus we had been working together.”

“Oh, serendipitous detention.” Remus grinned wolfishly. “Reg.”

“Er, what?”

“What if we shagged in the broomshed?”

Regulus coughed, nearly choking on absolutely nothing.

“Remus John Lupin!”

“Oh, _full name,_ ” Remus laughed. Regulus gave him a playful little shove.

“I’ll consider it. But for now, we need to get going.”

“Okay okay.” Before even being asked, he got up and helped Regulus off the bed, kissing his cheek. 

Regulus’ face flushed, partly from embarrassment. He wasn’t going to ask for help. He took Remus’ hand, not letting go of it as they made their way to Dumbledore’s office. Even then, he let go reluctantly. After everything, he wanted to show Remus how much he loved him, but nothing he thought of so far seemed good enough. Still, he did what he could. 

“Good afternoon,” Dumbledore said pleasantly as they walked in and headed for the desk.

Remus gave a polite greeting, but Regulus couldn’t bring himself to smile, instead staring at the portrait of Phineas Nigellus. Oddly enough, it wasn’t him Phineas was staring back at. He seemed far more focused on Remus.

“Don’t concern yourself with old Phineas right now,” the Headmaster continued with a soft smile. “Please sit.”

They both did so, Remus needing to put his hand on Regulus’ back to urge him. Olive eyes found their way to the golden locket, noting how it still appeared quite intact.

“No luck so far, sir?” he asked.

“I’m afraid not. There have been many things I have tried, but nothing has been quite powerful enough. There is another thing I would like to attempt, but it is too dangerous to perform within the castle. But just as importantly, how are you faring, Regulus?”

“Fine enough,” Regulus responded, aware of Phineas now turning toward him. He didn’t add anything more, not wanting to admit in front of Remus that he was waking from nightmares most nights. The sound of the lake used to be of great comfort, but now, even the thought of it made him feel the water entering his lungs. 

Dumbledore nodded, but Regulus felt that the man knew he was leaving that out.

“Why did you call us here, professor?” Remus asked.

“There are a couple different issues I need to speak to you about. Firstly, we must talk about Voldemort’s use of a horcrux.”

It finally occurred to Regulus as Dumbledore spoke. He was talking about it so plainly in front of Phineas Nigellus. Not only that, but they must have spoken about it then, too. The day they retrieved it. Panic rising in his chest, he glanced to the portrait and back to Dumbledore. It was clear on his face.

“Not to worry Regulus. Phineas will not pass on this information. That is actually part of the other topic of today, but we will get to that.”

“What about it then?” Regulus tried to shake off his paranoia, but was still tense.

“What you may not know is that Professor Slughorn was still Potions Master when Voldemort was a student here.” He ignored the hints of surprise. “While you were in the hospital wing, Regulus, I took the time to ask him for any relevant information. He gave me a particular memory of his, but I’m afraid it leaves much to be desired.”

“What… what is it?”

“I will show you the memory in question, and see whether you come to the same conclusion.”

A memory? Regulus glanced to the pensieve. He knew about them and was aware of the one in the office, but had never used one before. He normally would be very interested in using one, but now, thinking about the silver swirling along the water, he felt his nerves in his throat. Dumbledore noticed.

“If you rather not, I can have Remus use it instead.”

“N-no, it’s fine. I’ll do it.”

Remus looked at him with worry on his brow. He would ask later.

“If you are certain.”

“Yes.”

“Very well.” Dumbledore led him to the pensieve, where a memory was already waiting. “You know how to use one I presume?”

“More or less.”

After an affirmative gesture from the headmaster, Regulus went up to the basin and took a deep breath, trying to calm his fear. He then stuck his head down and suddenly felt as though he was falling until he once again hit solid ground.

The scene around him was immediately recognizable as the Slug Club, a group of students sitting round a table with Professor Slughorn at the head. The uniforms were slightly different, he noticed, but the House ties were still clear enough. Slughorn was excitedly eating some crystallized pineapple. Unsurprising as Regulus knew it was his favorite. The professor was then addressed by one of the students. Regulus couldn’t help but notice he himself looked quite a bit similar to this other Slytherin boy, though thought the latter was more handsome.

_“Sir, is it true that Professor Merrythought is retiring?”_

_“Tom, I couldn’t tell you if I knew, could I?” Slughorn chuckled. “I must say, I'd like to know where you get your information, boy; more knowledgeable than half the staff, you are. What with your uncanny ability to know things you shouldn't, and your careful flattery of the people who matter—thank you for the pineapple, by the way, you're quite right, it is my favorite—”_

Regulus let a laugh out through his nose. He supposed students have been getting on the professor’s good side like that for a long time. However, something odd happened then. The memory got strangely foggy.

_“—you'll go wrong, boy, mark my words,” rang the voice of Slughorn._

Then just as soon as it happened, everything went back to normal. Slughorn dismissed the club, as it was getting late. Regulus shivered as he heard the names Avery and Lestrange. Tom, however, stayed after. As the professor lightly warned him about being out too late after-hours, the realization slowly started coming to him.

_“Look sharp, Tom,” said Slughorn, turning around and finding him still present. “You don't want to be caught out of bed out of hours, and you a prefect…”_

It hit him. This was a young Voldemort. Regulus felt his skin crawl and fought down the desire to scratch at it.

_“Sir, I wanted to ask you something.”_

_“Ask away, then, m'boy, ask away…”_

His stomach hurt knowing what was to come. It was no wonder Slughorn looked so fearful when Regulus asked him.

_“Sir, I wondered what you know about... about Horcruxes?”_

The similarities between them made him feel like retching.

The same strange fog came over the scene.

_“I don't know anything about Horcruxes and I wouldn't tell you if I did! Now get out of here at once and don't let me catch you mentioning them again!”_

The memory then ended and Regulus found himself back in Dumbledore’s office. He grabbed the basin to keep himself from falling over.

“Are you alright, Regulus?” Dumbledore asked.

“Y-yes, sir.” He turned around, catching Remus’ anxious face.

“Your thoughts on what you saw?”

Regulus thought about it a moment, the strange fog at particular parts, Slughorn’s voice sounding unnatural.

“The memory has been changed, hasn’t it? You said this is Professor Slughorn’s memory, right?”

“That is correct. Very sharp of you.”

“That was Voldemort when he was a student. I understand now why Slughorn had the reaction he did when I asked that question. Especially since we appear to have some things in common. The Slug Club, a prefect… we even look similar. I imagine it completely took him back to this memory. But he’s clearly hiding part of the conversation. He answered, didn’t he? And is now ashamed of it.”

“You’re making things quite a bit easier on me, aren’t you?” Dumbledore smiled. “I need you to do something for me, Regulus.”

“What, get the truth?”

The headmaster nodded. Regulus considered this, catching the eye of Remus, who was listening patiently to everything.

“I… I can try, sir. But if he lied to you, I don’t know why he would tell me.”

“You can come up with something,” added Remus. “I don’t know exactly what you saw, I assume you’ll tell me later. But you can be very persuasive when you want to be. You know him well. For better or worse, you’re good at figuring out exactly where to hit.”

Regulus opened his mouth to respond, but closed it again, his mind blanking.

“Not sure how to respond to that.”

Remus snickered lightly.

“Take it as a compliment?”

“I realize this may be a difficult task, and therefore may take a while,” Dumbledore said, “but please, try to do so as soon as possible. I’m sure you understand the importance of this memory.”

“Yes, sir.” Regulus nodded.

“Now, if both of you can once again take a seat.”

They did so, looking quite a bit curious as to what was coming next. Remus in particular was wondering why he was asked to be there, as the first matter had only to do with Regulus. Of course, he was happy to be there with him.

“May I finally ask why my great-great grandfather is so focused on Remus?” Regulus asked sharply, glancing at the portrait.

Phineas huffed.

“Curiosity now that I know this is the half-blood Gryffindor you’re in love with.”

Remus turned bright red. Regulus said that in front of his family?

“Yeah so?” The defensiveness rose in Regulus’ voice.

“It took awhile for me to remember him. Dumbledore speaks to many students, you see. But this one was distinctly familiar. Something your house-elf said triggered the memory. Before his first year started, he and his father spoke with Dumbledore about his _accommodations._ ”

Remus’ heart fell as he remembered. Of course Phineas Nigellus was there at the time. He knew what he was. Regulus had paled just as badly.

“You haven’t told them, have you?” he asked weakly. “My parents.”

“No,” Phineas said in irritation, as if it were the obvious answer. “They _do_ know this boy saved your life.”

“They know what happened?” The panic rose into his throat.

“In its most basic form. They know what you allowed Kreacher to tell them. You should be made aware that they were quite furious that the Dark Lord left their elf to die, though they wouldn’t dare say anything, lest it harm their standing. They know you went to seek some form of vengeance for it and nearly died in the process.”

Vengeance. That really is what it was. If it was purely in the interest of doing the right thing, he would have talked to Dumbledore. But no. It had been completely personal. Reckless impulsivity and blind hatred.

“They asked me if you succeeded.”

“What did you say?” Regulus murmured.

“...Somewhat. And that the rest is up to Dumbledore. This leads me to why you’re both here.”

“ _You_ wanted to talk to us?”

“Yes. I meant what I said, you know. That your father is regretful. Both your parents are wavering when it comes to the Dark Lord’s methods, even if their ideals still align. They think perhaps they were too harsh on you, though your mother is still of the stance that it was for the best that you left and that you have no business coming back. She seems to like to think it was her idea and not your own. Your father quietly disagrees. While I’m under no illusion that you want to return, and I told him such, he wants you to be free to stay there whenever you wish.”

Regulus was frozen to his seat. He wasn’t completely shunned? Phineas was right that he would never return to live there with them regardless, but he didn’t think either of them would allow him to come back. But still.

“Regardless,” he said, “mother clearly doesn’t want to see me. Therefore there’s no question I wouldn’t be allowed back, even if I wanted to.”

“However, your father wants to speak with you,” Phineas continued, ignoring the looks of shock. “It doesn’t have to be right away. In fact, if you agree, he wishes to find a time when your mother is out of the house. There are only a couple months left of term anyway, so once summer arrives, there would be ample time to work around. He also wants to meet _you_.”

He looked at Remus again.

“M-me?” Remus appeared to shrink into himself.

“Indeed. He wants to meet the boy who saved his son.”

“I wish people would stop acting as though it wasn’t the obvious thing for me to do,” he said quietly. “It isn’t as though I was a stranger or even an enemy suddenly doing something noble. As if I would ever consider letting him go there alone when I knew he could die.”

“Don’t ask me. I am merely passing along the message,” Phineas grumbled.

Dumbledore’s eyes twinkled in amusement.

“You both appear to be missing the point entirely,” the headmaster said. “It isn’t a matter of heroism, but rather that of love.”

Everyone fell into silence, Regulus carefully regarding everything. Anger simmered as he thought of returning to 12 Grimmauld Place, even if for an afternoon, but that his father was willing to talk to him, and against the will of his mother.

“I…” he started, “I’ll consider it.”

Remus looked at him in mild surprise.

“You know I’ll come with you if you decide on it.”

“Yeah, I know.” Regulus offered him a grateful smile.

“I’ll give him the message,” Phineas said in disinterest.

“Is… is that all then?”

“For now,” said Dumbledore. “We will speak again when you have recovered that memory.”

“Yes, sir.” Regulus stared at the locket, a question that had been pervading his mind for days finally on the verge of being asked. “Er, I was wondering. Maybe I have no right to ask, but… after the horcrux is destroyed, if the locket is even intact at all, or at least not irreparable, could… could I keep it?”

“You actually want it?” Phineas couldn’t hide his surprise.

“I mean,” Remus added, “I’m sure any Gryffindor wouldn’t say no to his sword.”

Regulus nodded.

“After what you went through to retrieve it and with the intentions you had, I would say you have more right than anyone to keep Slytherin’s Locket,” said Dumbledore.

His heart leapt.

“Thank you, sir. One more thing.”

“I suppose I shouldn’t be too surprised by your inquisitiveness today, Regulus.” Dumbledore smiled.

“His name is Tom?” It was hard to imagine that the greatest Dark wizard of all time had such an ordinary name. “Professor Slughorn only called him by first name. What is his family name?”

“Yes. Tom Riddle.” The Headmaster’s expression darkened somewhat. “Now don’t go snooping. I’d rather our delving into Voldemort’s past doesn’t make it to the wrong ears.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Now, I hope to see you back in my office soon.”

After they left, they met with Severus and Regulus explained to them both what he saw in the memory. Severus started throwing around ideas on how to get Slughorn to confess, completely unsurprised by what happened. It completely explained the professor’s behavior. Remus, on the other hand, had something else on his mind.

“I thought the name sounded familiar,” he said suddenly. The other two looked at him in anticipation and mild shock.

“You’ve actually heard the name before?” Severus asked.

“Read it. The name is on one of the awards in the trophy room. I’ve had to polish the trophies a few times before in detention. Tom Riddle won an award for Special Services to the School. I can’t remember the exact year, but I think it was somewhere in the forties, so the timing lines up.”

“He won an _award_?” Severus said in distaste.

“I mean, he did seem to have Slughorn wrapped around his finger at least,” Regulus grumbled. “And there goes my idea of giving him pineapple, too. It would set off an alarm in his mind like my horcrux question.”

“I suppose you have to do your best to not remind him of Voldemort,” Remus said carefully. Regulus visibly cringed.

“Which apparently isn’t hard for me to do.”

“You’re not the same.”

Regulus shook his head.

“You didn’t see how similar we were.”

“But you’re not,” Remus said firmly. “I don’t have to have seen the memory to know. Your heart makes all the difference in the world. You would never do what he’s done, so don’t get caught up in the superficial.”

Regulus looked away sheepishly, but Severus raised his brows, a bit impressed. Remus’ random bursts of not being a pushover always surprised him. Definitely not as spineless as he used to be. He imagined it was due to Regulus’ influence.

“He’s right, you know,” said Severus. “I know you will be able to come up with something.”

Regulus sighed, resting his cheek against his palm. There were only a couple months left. He needed to work quickly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the unexpected wait! I'm actually a chapter away from being caught up, so now there isn't really a schedule. I hoped to be able to finish another chapter in time, but turns out I can't write that fast. And I thought after ch 11 was a good place to take a break if any.  
> I don't even know if people are enjoying it, but there's still a lot I want to write. I've just been so tired in general. It's hard to concentrate too long on any one thing each day.


	13. The Full Moon (In Which Bribes Are Employed)

Severus sat at the kitchen table, fingers against his lips in thought.

“You’re not having second thoughts, are you?” Remus asked, eyeing the smoking goblet that separated them.

“No,” Severus hesitated, but then shook his head. “No, I’m pretty sure I’m right. I know this isn’t ideal. If you wish, we could start with a few days and see what that does.”

“It’s fine. It makes sense for it to be the full week and I trust your judgement.”

“Because good judgement is one of your strong suits,” Severus said dryly. 

Sirius, who was watching everything unfold, gave out an unintentional laugh. Remus shrugged with a smile.

“It really is fine.” Before anyone could say anything else, Remus took the goblet and drank the contents, shuddering afterward.

“So, has Slughorn been treating either you or Regulus any differently lately?” Sirius asked Severus.

“Me, no. But evidently he’s been giving Regulus pitiful looks in class.”

“Ugh,” Sirius rolled his eyes.

“Maybe that’s not really a bad thing,” offered Remus. “Perhaps if Slughorn feels bad for him, he’s more willing to cave in to Regulus’ question.”

“That… wasn’t supposed to be a pun, was it, Moony?”

“What do yo—  _ oh, _ ” Remus laughed. “You’re ridiculous.”

“I try my best,” Sirius grinned. “You might be right, though. There are some people that can work on. Did you tell Reggie this idea?”

“I did.”

— 

For an entire week after Regulus received his task, he decided to act completely as he normally would in Potions class. He hoped it would make Slughorn relax a little more after Dumbledore initially tried getting the memory from him. And indeed, Slughorn initially acted uncomfortably around him, but slowly started to talk to him as usual. The professor’s behavior was avoidant at first, but now Regulus managed to even earn House Points.

He would try after class, nervously hoping his plan wasn’t too bold to work.

“Professor,” he said once the rest of the class left.

“Regulus, did you have a question about the lesson?” Slughorn asked suspiciously.

“No, sir. Perhaps it’s a little late, but I wanted to thank you for bringing your concerns to Dumbledore,” Regulus put on an air of bashfulness. “It’s nice to know that someone cared enough. It’s part of why everyone else was able to figure out what had happened.”

The professor sighed, now looking at him in sympathy.

“How are your injuries now?”

“Oh. It still hurts, but I’m getting better,” he offered a little smile.

“That is indeed a relief to hear,” said Slughorn as he started packing up his things. “Is there anything else you wanted?”

“Yes, actually,” Regulus gathered his wits. “I need you to tell me the real memory. You know what I’m talking about.”

Slughorn bristled.

“So, Dumbledore sent you to hound me, has he? He saw what he saw, simple as that.”

“Except it isn’t real. Professor, do you really not think your tampering wasn’t obvious? We need the real one.”

The Potions Master opened his mouth to speak, but he could not get anything to come out at first, face flush with embarrassment. Seeing this, Regulus went on.

“Sir, it’s clear that you answered his question and we need to know what was actually said, despite any shame you may feel about it. There was no way you could have known what he was going to do. How were you supposed to know it wasn’t purely academic curiosity?”

“I cannot tell you, Regulus, and that’s final!” Saying nothing else, Slughorn shut his case and made his way out the door.

“Sir!” Regulus scowled as the professor left, light panic bubbling up inside him, worried that was his only opportunity knowing that his aim has been revealed. Surely, he would be avoided now? He needed to find a second chance.

  
  


“I take it things didn’t go as planned?” asked Severus as he prepared an example potion for the sixth years, seeing Regulus’ grumpy face.

“No, and now he leaves as soon as class is out so that I can’t talk to him. I knew he’d do something like that,” he grumbled.

“Would you like for me to say something to him? He’s been perfectly normal to me.”

“It’s fine,” Regulus sighed as he sat at one of the desks, propping his head up with his arm. “I just need to try harder. I know one thing that might break him, but the trouble is getting a word in.”

“What will you do if it doesn’t work?” Severus asked as he stirred the potion.

“Ugh, I don’t know. What I’m also curious about is what happens if I don’t get the memory on time. I can’t get it if I’m not here.”

“Perhaps Dumbledore has a backup plan? Or more likely, he is just that confident that you’ll be able to retrieve it.

“I guess,” Regulus mumbled. “Anyway, you seem to have something else on your mind the past few days.”

Severus figured he shouldn’t be surprised that Regulus noticed, but also didn’t like that it was clear that he had been a little distracted.

“Just the full moon, that’s all.”

“Oh,” Regulus smiled a little. “Don’t worry so much.”

— 

It was the morning after the full moon, and Severus was pacing around his house, waiting as he became accustomed to for any contact from either Sirius or Remus. He knew at least taking multiple doses must not have harmed Remus, but would it be worth the trouble? It was already getting late in the morning when Sirius showed up.

“Severus,” Sirius said breathily as he walked toward him in determination.

He felt panicked for just a second, but it completely disappeared as Sirius held his face, kissing him deeply. Severus’ mind shut off for the moment, wrapping his arms around Sirius. It didn’t matter how many times it happened; Severus felt a surge of happiness every time Sirius’ lips touched his own.

“Surely you haven’t missed me that much while I’ve been at the castle?” he smirked, only barely pulling away.

“You did it. Severus, you did it.”

“I… what?” He took one step back, eyes widening.

“Last night, Remus’ mind was completely there,” Sirius was able to tell Severus’ knees were about to be weak from shock, so he sat him down on the bed. Severus attempted to speak, but nothing came out, so Sirius continued. “It was clear pretty quickly. It was the expression he had once he realized he had control of himself. And it lasted the entire night, I assume. He actually managed to fall asleep eventually.”

“A-are you certain?” Severus whispered.

“Yeah. We did an experiment once I was very sure. Now don’t be angry, but at one point I changed out of my dog form. Across the room so that I could change back if I needed to. But I didn’t. As normal human me, he understood what I was saying just fine and he showed it by doing things I asked him to. Just little things like sit, walk in a circle, things like that. And he remembered it all in the morning. I had to assure him of when he slept so he knew he didn’t lose any memory. He cried for at least a half hour this morning,” Sirius offered a crooked smile. “Out of happiness, of course.”

Severus breathed deeply, but it was no use. Tears welled up in his eyes.

“Now both of you are crying,” Sirius said, bringing his hand up to wipe Severus’ tears. “At least it’s for a good reason.”

He smiled and kissed Severus’ forehead.

“I never cease to be amazed by you. What do you plan to do?”

“Well I,” Severus said with a weak voice, “I didn’t think I would get this far. Generally one would write a paper on the research findings.”

“I’m sure you’ll write one hell of a paper,” Sirius grinned. It was infectious. Severus buried his face against Sirius’ neck, hiding his smile. “You should be proud of yourself. I am. I know Remus is. Everyone will be.”

Severus nearly started to cry again. Sirius was proud of him. The only person to ever say so. That appeared to be a theme with Sirius, saying wonderful things to him he had never been told before but never realized he so desperately wanted to hear. He did not cry this time, however. Instead, he kissed him once more, pulling Sirius down with him as he laid down on his back.

The two were cuddled together, Severus fiddling with a loose string on Sirius’ shirt. They talked about what comes next, gathering all the notes, putting everything together in an organized, clear way and which academic journal to send the finished product to. Severus knew Dumbledore had once published a paper in The Practical Potioneer, so he thought perhaps he would do so as well.

He wondered whether he should have Slughorn look over it when he was finished writing, and a sudden thought occurred to him. Regulus’ task and everything that led up to it.

“Sirius,” he said quietly.

“Yeah?” Sirius placed a light little kiss on the other’s temple.

“I realize this is quite late, but there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you. It’s just that… it never really seemed like a good time. Especially since I didn’t want anyone else to be around.”

“What is it?” Sirius’ brows furrowed as he felt a hint of anxiety.

“Before Regulus and Remus left here to find the horcrux, Regulus asked me to tell you that he loves you.” Severus debated on whether he should express his next thought, but ultimately did. “In case they didn’t return.”

Sirius was silent a moment aside from a deep breath.

“Why didn’t you tell me then?” he asked gently.

“Perhaps it sounds ridiculous, but I didn’t want to somehow… tempt fate. If I told you at the time, it made the possibility of failure real. That they would have died. I know it was just in my head but I still couldn’t.”

“I see.” He didn’t mean to, but Sirius let out a quick, breathy laugh. He didn’t think it sounded so ridiculous. It was what fear could do to one’s mind. “That makes sense.”

“You don’t need to lie to make me feel better.”

“I’m not. I get it, really. Even if it is a bit late, thank you for telling me.”

“I figured he wouldn’t do so himself.”

“Probably not,” Sirius said lightly, shrugging.

“He does, you know.”

“Yeah.” He held Severus closer. “I do too. I don’t think I ever didn’t. I think I liked to believe I hated him. But really I didn’t.”

“I know you do.” Severus delicately put his hand to Sirius’ cheek, brushing a lock of hair out of the way. He smirked. “James told me once of how worried you were about him last summer. An absolute wreck.”

“Tsch!” Sirius pretended to be offended. “Not only were you meeting in secret, but you both were gossiping about me!

“I like having you on my mind. Even if in front of me is preferred.” 

“Are you actually properly flirting with me?” His smile brightened at the prospect of Severus having a bit of confidence. “How did I get so lucky?”

“As if this is the first time?”

“Well, in a more blatant way. Hey, let’s go out tonight.”

“What do you have in mind?”

“Let me buy you dinner. We can celebrate your accomplishment.” He kissed Severus’ cheek as they turned pink from fluster. “You deserve it.”

— 

Regulus took extra care to make sure no one saw him. In the empty corridor, he took out the Marauder’s Map, searching it until he found Slughorn’s name. He watched carefully, figuring out where the professor was heading to. Perfect. He’d easily be able to catch up.

“Mischief managed,” he muttered, smiling to himself. He folded it neatly and put it away in a pocket before heading off.

Slughorn jumped out of his skin as Regulus rounded the corner, freezing in a panic.

“Oh! Fancy seeing you here professor,” Regulus said cheerily.

“How did— sorry, m’boy, I really must be going,” Slughorn tried to hurry forward, but it didn’t really do any good as he was caught up with effortlessly.

“Professor, you need to tell me,” he said firmly, nearly seething as he dropped his previous demeanor. “Everything I went through to obtain the horcrux, are you really going to let it all be in vain? Because if we don’t retrieve that information, that is what will happen. It will have been for nothing. Do you really want that? I’d like to think greater of you.”

He stood in front of Slughorn, causing him to stop. The professor said nothing, but looked away under his student’s deadly glare.

“Sorry,” Slughorn muttered, and turned around to walk away. Regulus didn’t follow.

“I can and will find you again. I recommend you change your mind by then.”

— 

“You’re looking well,” Regulus said with a soft smile.

“I’m feeling rather well,” Remus kissed him as they sat out in one of the castle’s courtyards. It was a beautiful afternoon, the many trees on the ground abloom with color. “I have some good news.”

“Oh?”

“I finally found a job. It’s only part-time, but at least it’s something. We’ll see how long it lasts.”

“That’s great,” Regulus grinned, taking Remus’ hand. “I’m really happy for you. Where?”

“It’s a little bookshop owned by a wizarding couple near where I live. They seem fairly flexible with hours, so it may not be difficult to balance it with whatever Dumbledore may need us to do.”

“That sounds absolutely perfect for you! And yes, I feel as though we’ll have more to do soon. I know he’s been employing mostly the Aurors to fight against the Death Eater attacks, but I think he’ll really be having us focus our energies more subtly, like Sirius’ reconnaissance missions.”

“Yes, I agree. How is your task with Slughorn going?”

Regulus groaned.

“I gave him something to think about. Sent him on a guilt trip, which seems to have affected him. But still, he hasn’t said anything.”

He went on to explain to Remus what he said.

“Bloody hell, he really must be ashamed of the memory if that didn’t completely break him. I think that would have even worked on Sirius, and we all know how stubborn he is.”

“I just don’t get it. What could he have possibly said? Clearly Riddle already knew about horcruxes, and if he indeed learnt about it from the same book as I did, he already knew how to make one. I don’t know what could possibly be worse than that. Unless Slughorn knew one was made and kept quiet? He is a coward after all.”

“Hmm, not sure. He doesn’t seem  _ that  _ morally destitute. I’d think it’s something else.”

— 

Severus held several rolls of parchment bound together as he waited for the Potions Master in his office. He wrote for days, eager to get his work out. More often than not, Sirius had to remind him to eat and sleep.

“Well, you’re a bit early today, Severus,” Slughorn said lightly. Regulus hadn’t bothered him for a few classes now, so his guard started to wane. “What have you got there?”

“It’s a paper I’ve written, which I am hoping to get published. I thought perhaps you could give me a bit of guidance. After all, I’m quite sure you have connections within the Potions circle,” Severus laid on the flattering tone thick.

“Is that so?” Slughorn eyed the bundle curiously, brows raised. “I really shouldn’t be shocked, with your talents. May I ask the subject?”

“Lycanthropy.”

“P-pardon?”

Severus gave a calm smile.

“It isn’t a cure, unfortunately, more of a relief of some of the worst symptoms, sans the actual transformation. It has also been tested, courtesy a certain friend of mine.”

The professor’s eyes looked as though they would fall right out of his skull.

“You aren’t serious, surely?”

“Completely, professor.”

“May… may I?” Slughorn gestured his hand toward it. Severus held it slightly closer to himself, a glint in his eye.

“I figured you might want to read it. However, I need something from you.”

Slughorn’s heart dropped into his stomach.

“Do you…”

“Yes. You need to give Regulus that memory. If you do, I will allow you to read this before I send it off. I’ll even consider any advice you may have. Of course, you will not have been the first to read it. That honor went to Sirius. And I cannot take your word for it. Regulus will have to be the one to tell me you gave him the memory.”

“He put you up to this, didn’t he?” Slughorn sputtered. “Blast it all…”

“No. He even declined my offer to speak to you. Regardless, it was clear you needed a reason other than conscience to get you to act. Now, I’ve already prepared the potions needed for your classes today. I have business with Professor Sprout. Good day.” Saying nothing else, Severus left the room.

— 

Two days later, Regulus was shocked when Slughorn requested that he stay after class. The man looked positively atrocious, as though he felt sick at whatever he was going to do. Not that it was a bother to his student, who was losing patience.

“Are you finally giving in, then?” Regulus asked crossly.

Slughorn’s hands were clasped together as he stared at the desk, avoiding looking Regulus in the face.

“Please,” he croaked, “don’t judge an old man too harshly after seeing it.”

With great hesitation, he took his wand, tapping it to his temple as he extracted the memory, placing the silvery swirl into a small vial. Regulus took it in a small daze.

“Thank… thank you, sir.”

Practically running, he held tightly onto the vial and rushed to the Headmaster’s Office.

“I’m so sorry!” he exclaimed as he nearly ran straight into Akram.

“Everything’s alright?” the boy said, rather alarmed. “I’ve actually been looking for you. There’s—”

“We’ll catch up later! I’m so sorry. Sorry.” Regulus was breathless from his rush, leaving Akram in the corridor silently confused.

His legs were hurting, but it didn’t matter.

“Sug…” he took a moment to try and catch his breath, “sugar quill.”

The door opened and Dumbledore stood as Regulus staggered in and held on to the edge of the desk as he placed the memory on top of it.

“Well done, Regulus,” Dumbledore smiled. “Well done indeed.”


	14. Seven (In Which Knowing Is A Burden And Blessing)

“Will we look at it now, sir?” Regulus asked, eyes following the vial as Dumbledore picked it up.

“Yes,” said the Headmaster as he walked to the pensieve and poured in the memory. He motioned toward it. “After you.”

Preparing himself mentally, Regulus entered the memory, Dumbledore soon following as Riddle started asking about Professor Merrythought. The memory continued as he saw previously and Regulus couldn’t help but notice how much admiration the other students seemed to regard him with. Seeing how charmed the students were, he thought there was no wonder Riddle managed to gather such a following.

He focused his attention once more to the scene as he knew the first altered part of the memory was coming up.

“... you're quite right, it is my favorite — I confidently expect you to rise to Minister of Magic within twenty years. Fifteen, if you keep sending me pineapple, I have excellent contacts at the Ministry.”

What sort of nightmare would that have been, Regulus thought.

“I don't know that politics would suit me, sir,” said Riddle. “I don't have the right kind of background, for one thing.”

This statement really caught his attention. Not the right kind of background? Everyone else, however, seemed to brush it off. The students even seemed to think it was funny.

“Nonsense,” said Slughorn briskly, “couldn't be plainer you come from decent Wizarding stock, abilities like yours. No, you'll go far, Tom, I've never been wrong about a student yet.”

Regulus’ brows furrowed, finding this entire exchange rather bizarre. For one, Slughorn’s statement about Wizarding stock made him physically cringe. But Riddle’s statement seemed to go against that idea, though the students took as what, dramatic irony? He couldn’t figure out whether it meant Riddle had a ‘noble’ Wizarding lineage like the Blacks, or the opposite.

As he pondered this, the memory went on as normal, but as Riddle then asked about horcruxes, he braced himself.

“Project for Defense Against the Dark Arts, is it?”

“Not exactly, sir. I came across the term while reading and I didn't fully understand it.”

“No… well… you'd be hard-pushed to find a book at Hogwarts that'll give you details on Horcruxes, Tom, that's very Dark stuff, very Dark indeed.”

Regulus could smell the bullshit from both of them. But then Slughorn did it. He started explaining how one was made. Regulus thought at first that surely Riddle had read the same book as he did and was just playing dumb for the sake of the scene playing out in front of him. Surely he already knew the answer. But seeing the excitement behind Riddle’s eyes, he now thought perhaps it was genuine. Perhaps whatever book the term was in really didn’t explain it. If that was the case, he now understood a little bit better Slughorn’s shame. Or perhaps he was playing Slughorn after all and was excited that he was getting the professor to talk. He couldn’t know for certain.

Slughorn started getting a little flustered with the line of questioning and Riddle quickly backtracked, apologizing for any offense.

“Not at all, not at all, not offended. It is natural to feel some curiosity about these things. Wizards of a certain caliber have always been drawn to that aspect of magic…”

“Yes, sir,” said Riddle. “What I don't understand, though— just out of curiosity— I mean, would one Horcrux be much use? Can you only split your soul once? Wouldn't it be better, make you stronger, to have your soul in more pieces, I mean, for instance, isn't seven the most powerfully magical number, wouldn't seven—?”

Regulus’ mouth opened in horror at the idea, Slughorn expressing his thoughts for him.

“Merlin’s beard, Tom! Seven! Isn't it bad enough to think of killing one person? And in any case… bad enough to divide the soul… but to rip it into seven pieces…” Slughorn was quite clearly looking regretful of the conversation, though whether or not Regulus felt bad for him was a different question altogether. “Of course, this is all hypothetical, what we’re discussing, isn’t it? All academic…”

The conversation started coming to a close, Slughorn managing to give some final words of warning to a far too happy Riddle.

“Seven?” Regulus said weakly once he and Dumbledore returned to the present day. “I don’t doubt he is capable of creating more than one. But do you think he has already created six? Assuming the seventh part of his soul is supposed to be the one which remains in his body.”

“That, I do not know. At least not yet.” Dumbledore looked very solemn at the prospect.

“Sir,” Regulus said as something occurred to him, “Riddle earned an Award for Services to the School, didn’t he?”

The Headmaster looked mildly surprised to hear that Regulus knew about that and hesitated to say what was on his mind. One of the portraits of a previous Headmaster, however, spoke the same sentiment, making Regulus newly aware of how they were so intently listening, including Phineas Nigellus.

“Where does this boy get all his information?” the portrait exclaimed, causing Regulus once more to feel discomforted by relating to young Voldemort, if unintentionally.

“Yes, he did,” answered Dumbledore. “Though I was always quite sceptical of the legitimacy. Alas, I was merely teaching at the time and Headmaster Dippet didn’t share in my distrust of young Riddle. Not that I blame him, of course. I was the only one, I’m afraid.”

“What for?” Regulus asked.

The room went eerily quiet, and it was clear Dumbledore did not wish to answer. Nor did any of the portraits except for Phineas, but the other portraits looked at him with warning. Regulus scowled.

“I’ll figure it out eventually given enough time.” The statement came out a touch more scathing than he would have liked.

“Supposedly catching the culprit who opened the Chamber of Secrets nearly forty years ago,” said Phineas, decidedly ignoring the others urging his silence. Regulus scoffed, though there was still a hint of panic in his voice.

“You don’t mean to tell me that’s real? I mean I suppose it’s not outlandish that there are still places in the castle that are hidden, but a monster?”

“A student did die. The school was nearing a closure.”

“You said supposedly. So he killed a fellow student and put the blame on someone else.” He thought about it a moment longer. “Why would he do something so risky? And for the whole school to nearly shut down?”

“There was not only one attack. It was an entire series, but only resulted in the death of one.”

“I think this is enough,” Dumbledore said firmly, looking at the both of them darkly. Regulus shrunk inward.

“Yes, sir,” he muttered.

“There is more research I must do. I will call you back again when the time comes.”

Indeed, after that meeting, Dumbledore left the castle for days at a time. Other students started to notice and got concerned, but knowing he was searching for information, Regulus brushed off their concerns.

“I’m sure you know why he’s leaving every few days,” Akram said to Regulus as the two of them and Pandora sat at a table in the library working on homework.

“Who, me?” Regulus feigned ignorance.

“Obviously. You keep meeting with him after all, right?” It was clear it wasn’t really a question.

Pandora smiled, amusement twinkling in her eyes.

“You look surprised. Of course we noticed,” she said. “I can only assume there are things you aren’t allowed to talk about.”

After getting over his initial shock, Regulus sighed and nodded.

“I’m sorry that there are so many things I can’t tell you. But yes, I know why.”

“Is there anything you _can_ say?”

Regulus thought about it a moment, laying down his quill.

“Don’t worry about Dumbledore. There’s no immediate danger. However, this war may go on for quite a while. Get your skills and knowledge in Defense up the most you can. Especially if you’re leaving here.” He looked at Pandora during that statement, then turned to Akram. “It’s good you still have two years. You’ll be safer here. Still, you can’t be too prepared.”

“I wish I could do something,” Akram grumbled. “I don’t like being in the dark like this.”

“But you aren’t doing nothing,” Regulus urged with a half-smile. “You’re helping to change minds. Ever since we spoke, there has been more of a rift in Slytherin. I’ve seen it. All the students who have started listening to you. Sentiment against the Dark Lord has been trickling throughout and I couldn’t have done that without you. Don’t underestimate how important that is.”

Akram looked down bashfully at Regulus’ speech.

“I suppose so.”

“This has to do with whatever happened over Easter, doesn’t it?” asked Pandora.

“W-what makes you think that?” Regulus said, startled.

“Since then, your meetings have been more frequent, Professor Slughorn was treating you strangely, now Professor Dumbledore is leaving days at a time. It has to be all connected.”

“ _Ravenclaws._ ”

“I’m not sorry,” she chuckled.

Regulus clasped his hands together, fidgeting with his thumbs.

“I don’t want to lie to you and deny that’s the case. There are things I’m under strict orders to not tell anyone, but it also can’t be helped if you’ve figured anything out on your own. But, I’m sorry that I can’t elaborate.”

“Yes, I understand. I won’t take it personally.”

“Thanks,” he offered a smile.

“Not quite related, but I’ve been meaning to ask. How has Remus been? It just reminded me because I know he has been here recently. I realized sometime after he became a prefect that he often,” Pandora paused for a couple seconds, putting slight stress on the next phrase, “fell ill.”

Regulus felt his heart drop for a brief moment, but quickly pulled himself together. She clearly wasn’t going to say anything, nor did she seem to be disdainful in any way.

“Does he?” asked Akram, taking her words at face value. “That’s unfortunate to hear.”

“Yeah,” Regulus said. “I do worry about him as he has fallen ill so easily since he was young. But he’s been relatively well recently. Still, I wish I could do more for him. I feel rather useless when it comes to that.”

Neither Pandora nor Akram had seen Regulus really despair before, doing away with his usual confidence.

“My brother is always able to be there for him, and Severus is able to give him the potions he needs. He has saved me… more than once. And what have I done? Not to mention my father wants to see me. Not only that, but he wants to meet Remus.”

“You’re going to go back there?” Akram asked, alarmed.

“Yes.” Regulus held his face in steepled hands.

“Mate, between all this, whatever you’re working on with Dumbledore, and N.E.W.Ts… seriously, _six?_ You’re trying for six. I’m honestly surprised you haven’t gone completely mad from the pressure.”

“Me too, to be fair.”

More than anything, Regulus wanted to tell Remus about what he learned, but to his dismay, they did not get the chance to meet before Dumbledore asked him again to his office. Just as well. He hoped it meant he would have more to tell. Perhaps a clue to the other Horcruxes. As long as questions were answered.

“Is this going to be about why you’ve been going away, sir? Have you found anything about the Horcruxes?”

“Not wasting any time, are you, Regulus?” That familiar shine of amusement sparkled in Dumbledore’s eyes. “Possibly. As you will soon see, I have begun looking further into Voldemort’s past. In understanding the man more, we can perhaps better know how to stop him.”

“That makes sense.”

He let himself be led to the Pensieve, anxious about what he was to see as Dumbledore placed the memory inside.

The first and only person Regulus saw in this memory was a short but heavyset man wearing comically large glasses. Obviously it was this man’s memory. His manner of dress was odd, clearly one of those wizards who had no idea how to dress in Muggle fashion. Regulus never quite understood these types of people, as he found it was something rather straightforward, even as someone who grew up in the environment he did. The man was walking down a country lane, past a signpost pointing to Little Hangleton.

“This is the memory of Bob Ogden,” Dumbledore explained.

Little Hangleton was visible just down the hill they were on, a manor house on the opposite hillside. It was likely a Muggle village, judging by the ridiculously manicured lawn surrounding the manor. This, however, was not the man’s destination. They followed him on a little dirt track into a wooded area. He never would have guessed someone lived here, yet there it was. A horrid, grimy little house reminiscent of the Shrieking Shack. Possibly worse, judging by the snake nailed to the door and distinct lack of handsome werewolves.

Regulus jumped nearly as bad as Ogden as a ragged man ascended from one of the trees. He was a fright to look at. Eyes in different directions, dirty and matted hair, and missing teeth. More disturbing was the knife in his hand, which looked as though it was caked in blood.

The worst part was the sound that came out of the man’s mouth. A purposeful, angry hissing. Ogden tried to introduce himself, but was only further confused by the hissing. Once again looking at the nailed snake, Regulus realized what he was hearing. Parseltongue. The man then hit Ogden with some sort of nonverbal spell, causing Ogden to clutch his nose, which was now oozing some nasty yellow goo.

“Morfin!” came a voice from inside the house. Thank goodness it was in English. The source of the voice came through the door. This older man did not look quite as off, but still had odd proportions. Regulus was starting to get the hint of in-breeding gone horribly wrong. “Ministry, is it?”

“Correct! And you, I take it, are Mr. Gaunt?” Ogden asked angrily as he tried to clean off his face.

“S’right. Got you in the face, did he?”

“Yes he did!”

Honestly, Regulus couldn’t blame him for his anger. As the interaction progressed, he learned that the younger man was Mr. Gaunt’s son. They argued a little about a man’s right to defend himself before Mr. Gaunt sent his son inside. At least, that’s what Regulus assumed, as he didn’t understand the words. However, that was the result.

Apparently Ogden was here for Mr. Gaunt’s son, Morfin, because of a breach of wizarding law. It was also made clear the Gaunts were interested in blood purity, which made Regulus’ assumption more credible.

Eventually, they all walked into the tiny house. Morfin was in a chair, singing (Regulus figured) in Parseltongue to a live snake in his hands. It gave him the chills. He learned then there was another person in the house. Morfin’s sister, clear by the way she looked. While he was a bit frightened by Morfin, he couldn’t help but feel bad for this girl, especially after her father introduced her in such a begrudging tone.

“M’daughter, Merope.”

Ogden tried to greet her, but she only looked fearfully at her father.

“Well, Mr Gaunt,” said Ogden, “to get straight to the point, we have reason to believe that your son Morfin performed magic in front of a Muggle late last night.”

As if on cue, Merope dropped one of the pots she had been putting on a shelf. Her father shouted at her, first something in Parseltongue, then switched back to English.

“That’s it, grub on the floor like some filthy Muggle, what’s your wand for, you useless sack of muck?”

Regulus’ face twitched, brows furrowing as he tensed his shoulders. The girl had already picked it up, but lost her grip again as she was yelled at. She tried to use her wand this time, but in her distress, only caused it to shoot against the wall, breaking it in two. As she was shouted at again, Regulus found himself watching through his hands.

Before it could get any worse, Ogden repaired the pot himself.

“Lucky the nice man from the Ministry’s here, isn’t it?” said Gaunt. “Perhaps he’ll take you off my hands, perhaps he doesn’t mind dirty Squibs…”

Ogden once again turned the conversation to the matter at hand, doing extraordinarily well at pushing through the antagonizing he was being faced with. Gaunt seemed to think he and his family were above the law, deeply offended at a summons by Magical Law Enforcement.

“And you think we’re scum, do you? Scum who’ll come running when the Ministry tells ’em to?” Gaunt screamed, pointing in anger. “Do you know who you’re talking to, you filthy little Mudblood, do you?”

“I was under the impression that I was speaking to Mr. Gaunt,” said Ogden, respectably steadfast.

“That’s right!” Gaunt waved his hand in Ogden’s face, showing the ring on his middle finger. It was extremely old, even by wizarding standards, with a large black stone in the middle. “See this? See this? Know what it is? Know where it came from? Centuries it’s been in our family, that’s how far back we go, and pure-blood all the way! Know how much I’ve been offered for this, with the Peverell coat of arms engraved on the stone?”

Peverell? That was a familiar name. Regulus felt like it had been ages since he heard it, as he couldn’t quite remember.

Ogden brushed off the question, still trying to focus on the matter at hand, but Gaunt wouldn’t have it. The man strode over to poor Merope, violently grabbing the chain around her neck, dragging her by it. At the sight, Regulus desperately wanted to look away, but knew he needed to watch despite the lump forming in his throat.

“See this?” Gaunt demanded.

Regulus gaped at the locket dangling from the chain.

“Slytherin’s,” he blurted, just a second before Gaunt said the same thing.

“Salazar Slytherin’s! We’re his last living descendants, what do you say to that, eh?”

Once again, Ogden was unmovable. Regulus could hardly listen as they argued again, admirable Bob Ogden explaining further the crime committed against a Muggle, ignoring all jabs against him.

He forced himself to focus again as came the sound of the jingling of horses, clear through the open window. A girl’s voice rang out.

“My God, what an eyesore! Couldn’t your father have that hovel cleared away, Tom?”

Tom? Sure it was a very common name, but considering this memory was somehow significant to Tom Riddle, he couldn’t completely ignore it.

“It’s not ours,” said a young man’s voice. “Everything on the other side of the valley belongs to us, but that cottage belongs to an old tramp called Gaunt and his children. The son’s quite mad, you should hear some of the stories they tell in the village—”

The two travelled nearer, judging by the increased volume of the horses.

“Tom? I might be wrong— but has somebody nailed a snake to that door?”

“Good Lord, you’re right! That’ll be the son, I told you he’s not right in the head. Don’t look at it, Cecilia, darling.”

As they rode off, Morfin said something to Merope in Parseltongue. Soon, Gaunt entered the conversation which devolved into some sort of argument. Merope looked terrified, more than she did before, face completely white with fear. She seemed to be desperately denying something, shaking her head madly.

Regulus tried to shout, but no sound came out as Gaunt closed a hand around Merope’s throat. To his relief, Ogden broke up the altercation. However, this only caused Morfin to come at him with his knife.

Regulus and Dumbledore followed Ogden as he ran away, until he ran into the young man on the horse.

The man was extraordinarily handsome. He also looked horribly like Tom Riddle.

“That will do,” said Dumbledore, and they were once again returned to the Headmaster’s office. Seeing the troubled look on his student’s face, he added, “Are you alright?”

“Yes, sir,” he said quietly. “They’re descendants of Slytherin. Obviously he took the locket, but… that ring. Do you think perhaps he used the ring as well? Unless only the locket mattered to him…”

“Very good. Yes, it is quite a possibility Voldemort turned that ring into a Horcrux as well. Do you have any other ideas as to why we viewed this particular memory?”

He thought about it a bit longer.

“That man on the horse. Tom. Is it coincidence, or is he related to Voldemort?”

“Ahh, so you did notice. Yes. The man on the horse was Tom Riddle Sr.”

“His father? So he had a Muggle father.” Yet Voldemort was so obsessed with blood status. He nearly scoffed at the hypocrisy. “What does he have to do with the Gaunts? Surely not only the locket.”

“Think carefully about what you saw, as painful as it may be.”

What was he missing? It must be the fight in Parseltongue. That was the key, but it wasn’t as though he could understand what they were saying. Morfin made a comment to Merope as Riddle Sr. rode by, which didn’t anger Merope, but their father. The girl was deathly afraid and in denial of something. She didn’t want them to know and it was because of this violence. When Riddle Sr. rode by.

“Was… Merope in love with Riddle?”

“I figured you would be able to put it together, despite not having the words presented.”

“You don’t mean to say something actually came of it? Or else this wouldn’t matter. That would—” It hit him. How it all fit together. “She’s Voldemort’s mother.”

Looking at them, it seemed absurd. He could only assume there was an Imperius curse involved or perhaps even a love potion. Despicable, but with a family like that, he could imagine it.

“Precisely.”

“Voldemort is descended from Slytherin.” It made the students’ laughter from the previous memory make more sense. They must have known Riddle’s famous background. He wondered if they knew the rest. “And half-blood. What happened to them? Merope and Tom. I assume she used magic on him.”

“Yes, I believe it was a love potion. We must do a certain amount of guessing here, although I do not think it is difficult to deduce what happened. You see, within a few months of their runaway marriage, Tom Riddle reappeared at the manor house in Little Hangleton without his wife. The rumour flew around the neighbourhood that he was talking of being ‘hoodwinked’ and ‘taken in'. What he meant, I am sure, is that he had been under an enchantment that had now lifted, though I daresay he did not dare use those precise words for fear of being thought insane. When they heard what he was saying, however, the villagers guessed that Merope had lied to Tom Riddle, pretending that she was going to have his baby, and that he had married her for this reason.”

“But she did have a baby…”

“Yes, but not until a year after they were married. Tom Riddle left her while she was still pregnant.”

Regulus would normally feel disgusted at such a thing, but in this rare case it was the other way around. No moral person would use a love potion or any other coercive tactics to make someone fall in love with them. It wasn’t real. Vile. He couldn’t blame the man for leaving.

“What happened to her afterwards?”

“She died shortly after giving birth.”

“Oh. Professor, do you have any idea where the ring is? I know the locket hasn’t been dealt with yet, but if we have all of them…”

“Not yet, I’m afraid, but I assure you, this is something I’m working on. Now, I think this is enough for today. I will have another memory for you soon, but I think it best to wait a few days.”

“Yes, sir.”

Once he left the office, there was only one place in the castle Regulus wanted to go. It was still early enough. 

“Regulus,” Severus stated in vague surprise, face tightening once he got a good look. “What is the matter?”

“I’m fine.” He sat in the chair nearest his friend, far in the corner of the Potions classroom.

“You’re clearly not. How can I help you?”

“Just talk. Anything. Whatever you want.” He held himself. “I need to not think about Voldemort or Horcruxes or Grimmauld Place or even school. It’s all so much and I just want to be home and with Remus and Sirius and not be here anymore. Please, anything else.”

Severus abandoned his potion and sat beside Regulus. It brought him no joy, only sadness, to see the other in such distress, but he couldn’t help but remember when Regulus wouldn’t let himself be so open like this with him. It was such an improvement on their friendship. Honest.

“I understand. Do you want to hear about what your ridiculous brother did recently?”

“Yes, I very much do.”

“Alright.”

From there, Severus went on a long-winded story about Sirius, Remus, and himself going into the Muggle part of town because Sirius wanted to learn how to buy Muggle groceries. Cue Sirius being utterly amazed by music playing in the entire shop and singing along to a song he knew, thus embarrassing the rest of them. Severus and Remus also had to convince him not to buy one of every single type of sweet the shop carried. Only a few. He hadn’t quite realized before how parental Remus could be. Severus was very satisfied as he coaxed a few laughs.

“I mean,” said Regulus, more relaxed than before, “he was made a prefect solely as an attempt to keep Sirius and James more contained. It’s in his nature, whether or not he’s always successful.”

“Good thing. Well, perhaps I’m not being fair. Most of the time, Sirius is surprisingly responsible. Cooks decently, keeps his flat clean enough.”

“I’m glad. You’ve been looking well, by the way. Good to know he’s made sure you’re taking care of yourself. Also, how are James and Lily? I haven’t talked to them in a while.”

“Well enough. They’ve been keeping themselves busy with wedding plans.”

“How fun,” he chuckled. “So, what are you working on?”

They went on until supper, happy to talk about every little mundane thing. Mostly about Sirius and the places he would take Severus, but about Remus too and the newly strengthened friendship they’ve forged. For a while, Regulus could forget all the burdens around him, thinking only of home and those he loved the most. If he got through the summer, and got through the cave, he could get through this, as long as they were all by his side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, and also lack of Remus in this chapter! I promise he'll come back soon!  
> Thanks for the new subs and kudos while I was on my little break! Frankly I needed to work on some non-HP stuff for a while because I was getting a bit burnt out. Like, chocolate frogs are amazing, but sometimes I need a sweetroll instead ;P


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